Get Thee Away From Me, O Wretched Exams!

Okay, okay so my exams aren't over yet but I just can't go that long without venting.
Oh lucky you :P

Things I've Learnt This Semester:

1. The lecturers who look like dear, old, sweet grandma's are the ones who'll screw you over the most and give you a D+ for the ONE essay you worked your butt off for (D+..oh wow the '+' made SUCH A HUGE DIFFERENCE, YOU STUPID COW.)
   
2. Hot professors are such motivation to not only attend all lectures, but also to study. All this so you don't end up looking stupid. Ahhh they don't teach you THIS stuff in psychology class ;) ..or do they? Maybe I was too busy gawking to actually listen..*cough* moving on..
   
3. Cappuccino's and hot mochas at my uni rock. Alas, I discovered this NOW. Since the past two years I've been killing myself drinking banana mochas..which according to my friend taste like a laxative. Don't ask how she knew. I work on a 'Don't-ask-don't-tell' policy.
   
4. The people working at the cafe are awesome. They put extra chocolate in my hot mocha. And they act like they really do care when I moan about my yucky 8 am classes.
   
5. Studying for exams helps when you have to er...do the exams.
   
6. People are amazed when I tell them I lived in Africa for the first ten years of my life. They look at me like I'm amazing (not that I'm NOT amazing otherwise..). Their faces inevitably fall when I tell them that I infact DID NOT live in a mud hut/roamed with lions/drank water from ostrich eggs.
   
7. Given the choice between watching Season 6 of Star Trek: The Next Generation and studying for my exams, guess which one I always choose? Go on..guess.
   
8. I LOVE taking the hour long bus ride to and from uni...and no I'm not even being sarcastic! Its my way of meditating, and by 'meditating' I mean listening to music and sleeping. Yup I've become one of those people..you know the ones who fall asleep and their heads loll back and then quickly snap up? I used to make FUN of those people. Ah how the mighty fall sleep.

So yes. That's what I've learnt..and yea I learnt some stuff about psychology, sociology and the universe too.

Now be a good Mahi-lover and buy my art, like how Nal did (or tried...the website screwed up on logisitics. Bastards. )

School Stories- Part 2- Crazy Mrs. T

I spent a long time looking at myself in the mirror today (yes, even longer than usual).
Specifically at my nose.
Yes, The Nose.
Always with The Nose.

I frowned at the mark that Kelso's vicious little teeth had left on my already slightly-disfigured nose.
You see, I love sneaking up on him, and then incessantly sniffing at his face.
He hates it. With an exasperated yelp he turns to shoo me away- in the process knocking his canine against my nose (hence the mark) and slightly stunning me with his his high pitched yelp (you know like how fish get stunned by high pitched squeaks emitted by whales?).

Gingerly touching my nose, I found myself wondering if my own kids would cause me this much bodily harm.
And then thinking about kids made me recall what a teacher told me about having babies.

Let's go for a walk down memory lane, shall we?
.
.
.
.
The year was 2000 and I was in 9th grade.
My English teacher- Mrs T, jauntily walks into the room, throws her stuff on her table, proceeds to stand in front of classroom, puts her hand on her hips and says :
"Okay so my husband and I had sex and now I'm pregnant."

-Cue stunned silence-
40 girls stunned into silence. Do you know how rare that is?

"Yep. I'm pregnant. And yes I still have sex at my age."

-Cue slow, hesitant, cautious clapping-

You see we here at uptighty, prudish Singapore convents didn't always have 40-something year old teachers bombarding us with this sorta info. It was new. We needed time to digest what we had just heard.
"That's great Mrs T!"
"Congrats, Mrs T!"
"Oh my goddd I LOVE babies!" Squealed Arpu.

Mrs T slowly turned towards Arpu and suddenly took on a very sinister glint in her eyes.
"You like babies, huh? You think it's fun when you're pregnant and your back hurts all the time? You think it's fun when you're trying to squeeze your baby out and along with that you end up shitting too? You think its fun when your breastfeeding your baby and your nipples are too sore and bleeding and cracked and painful? You think its fun when your boobs grow so huge and saggy that you have to virtually flip them over when you're washing yourself? Oh Yes, my dear, that's SO. MUCH. FUN."
(At the last bit all of us looked down at our chests. The slightly less endowed of the lot beamed with delight. The slightly more endowed of us looked uneasy.)

Arpu sat there, open-mouthed, looking she wanted to cry after that traumatising tirade. I could imagine her shakily taking off her rose-tinted glasses, packing them into a neat little box and the burying that box forever. Poor Arpu.
I was just shell-shocked at the possibility that you might poop while giving birth.
"You can SHIT while giving birth!?!"
"Yes Mahima."
Well, there go my rose-tinted glasses.

So as you can tell, Mrs T was quite a character.
When girls would talk during her class, she'd turn around and with the skill of superbly trained ninja, she would throw perfectly-aimed pieces of chalk at you.
They hurt like a bitch.

I once got back a badly graded essay from her.
"Mahima R! (surname witheld coz I just watched an episode of the Tyra Bank's Show where internet creeps stalked girls. Moral of the story is don't give away too much info. Well I guess I'll just have to delete my entire blog then hahaha. Uh..those of you who know my surname, please don't put it up. I don't want my future in-laws landing on this blog after Googling me. I like saving the rude surprises for later.) How on EARTH could you hand in this crap? You're Indian! Indians are supposed to be good at English! I had a professor at university also with the same surname as you! How do you think he would feel about you handing in this rubbish??"
"Uh..contrary to popular belief, Mrs T, not all R's are related so I doubt he'd feel anything and not all Indians are good at English."
(And then I pointed at Arpu and Roohi.
Hahahahaah KIDDDING...
I am SO dead.)
"Whatever, Mahima, WHAT-EV-ER."

She used to call me "The Rahamah."
Don't ask. Seriously. Don't.
Coz I still have no idea where she pulled that one out of.


Fastforward to 2004.

I went back to my old school to do a relief (substitute) teaching stint there, coz I had too much time to kill before uni started and the pay for relief teaching ROCKS.
(Plus you don't exactly have to be a rocket scientist to relief teach *wink wink nudge nudge*)

I sat in my cubicle pretending like I had work to do when Mrs T popped her head in.
"MAH-HEE-MAAAH."
"Heeey Mrs T! How are you?"
"I'm good I'm good. Listen, was I ever mean to you in class?"
"Yep. All the time."
"Oh okay...did you severly despise me?"
"Oh not at all. I loved having you make fun of me all the time! It was very entertaining."
"Okay great so that means I can ask you to help me grade some essays. I have too much bloody work to do and since you actually liked me, I won't feel bad about asking you to help me with this nonsense."
"Haha sure Mrs T."
"Oh and later, if you're free you can join me with my class. We have CME period."

CME period.
'Civics and Moral Education' period.
This was basically 40 minutes of reading out of book that told you that stealing was wrong and helping an old lady across the road was right (in so many words).
It was a glorified free period.

"Sure!"

I went up to her class where she introduced me as Miss R.
"She used to be a student of mine and she used to sit in that very corner there."
Wow. She actually remembered where I sat. This was sweet!
"She used to have the WORST bushy hair, terrible acne-fied skin and she thought she was such a smartass..."
"Thank you Mrs T. That bought a tear to my eye. You've touched my heart."
"...and now look at her. If someone like THAT could clean up so nicely, then there's hope for all you losers."
"Aww you love me. You REALLY love me."
"Oh shut UP."



Ahh I love that woman.
She was smart, rude, inspiring and funny all at the same time.


So you see..we started off talking about Kelso's teeth which made me think of kids which made me think of Mrs T which is now making me wonder if all teachers start going a bit batty after a few years of teaching.

*Shrugs*

As Mrs T once said : "You're a very disturbing girl, Mahima. Very Disturbing."

:D



***
Addendum: Okay so I listened to Chitgo's idea about putting up my art up for sale, and I'm a member of Imagekind now.
So yes people, all those times you've ooh-ed and aaah-ed over my art - well now you can BUY it. Moahaha!

No, seriously..buy it. Pleeease? Share and care, baby! When I'm famous 10 years down the road, YOU can tell people "Hey! I made her famous. Yea baby, yea!" (Or something like that.)

If you're interested, you can click on the Imagekind button below my profile and check out the prints for sale. Yea they're prints..if you want to buy an original then that's a whole different ball game :)
(I was totally kidding about the 'bitches' part, I promise. You know I love you guys. Well most of you anyway :P)

Kisses in advance for the buyers! :D

School Stories- Part 1- Bollywood Queen Roohi.

So the year was 2000, and everyone had gotten reshuffled into different classes for Secondary 3 (that's the 9th grade).
So on the first day of school, I walked into class, straightened my *Ahem* Prefect's tie and took in some new and some old faces, some faces I couldn't stand and some faces that I was thankful to see.

I saw Roohi.

Roohi was (is) about half my height (HAHA sorry babe you know I can't resist!!!), with flashing dark brown eyes framed with ultra long lashes that would always get smushed behind her glasses, high cheekbones, an amazing hourglass figure and lovely wavy-curly hair, a strand of which she would CONSTANTLY twirl with her finger. God. It was SO annoying.
Nevermind that 2 months later, you just had to look up from your book to see 39 girls absentmindedly twirling their hair too.
Not me though.
*small voice*My hair was too short for that.

She had a REALLY strong Indian accent, but with just a splash of that Singlish thrown in.
'Lavender' became 'Luh-vhen-der', 'Comfortable' became 'Comfort-table' and 'Love' became 'Luuuhve'.
Of course, me being me, I mercilessly teased her about it.
I know. I'm such a snob. (Oh we made fun about her Mom's ultra strong Punjabi accent too- in front of her.)

:D All love Roohi, all love!

Anyway she looked every bit the quintessential Bollywood starlet.

Okay, fair enough. I had seen her around..she was a friend of my best friend Sagarika. Nice enough girl.
We decided to sit together.

Now Mahi at the age of *counts* 16 was a bit of jerk. Quick to pounce on the easily emo-senti (that's emotional-sentimental), she found an easy, convenient target in Roohi. Sure she adored her, but hell..it was just so easy!

One afternoon in class, I was busy at work on my essay and from the corner I could see Roohi picking up her pen to write something, only to put it back down. She did this over and over again.
I ignored it.
The she started twisting her fingers in what seemed to be mind boggling urgency. She would look at me, open her mouth to speak, bite her lip and then turn away. She did this over and over again.

With a deep breath I finally put my pen down calmly, turned to her and said "What. What, Roohi, WHAT."
"Mahi...*twisting of fingers*...Where is this relationship going?!?!"
.
.
.
I just stared at her like she had gone nuts.
She worriedly blinked at me.

And then I felt The Laugh.
The Laugh that starts in your belly, causes your nostrils to flutter, gurgles up to your throat, struggles to get out but your pursing lips don't allow it too.
It finally erupted and I saw Roohi's 'hurt-look' (again).

Oh it turns out that Roohi simply thought I was being too cold and unfeeling towards her..or something cockamamey story like that.

She got hurt of course, started tearing up- which I laughed even harder at.
Then her eyebrows would form Nike ticks and she'd blast me for laughing and then when I still wouldnt stop, she'd wring her hands and scream "What is your problem?!!"


My daily routine at school would be to find some way or another to piss her off.
She was (is) positively anal about keeping her books scratch-free, dog eared-free, mark-free, everything-free.
So naturally, I just had to take her Bio textbook, or any book of hers within my vicinity, and say slowly "Oh Rooooooohiii" and in front of her horrified eyes, I would slowly start folding a page in half.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
Of course this, like other fights, would end with Roohi tearing up, fluttering her hands in front of her teary eyes and me apologizing and trying in vain to straighten the page out. "See??See Roohi, it's straight! Uhh..Just ignore that little mark on the page..it's almost INVISIBLE!"

We'd fight like cats and dogs everyday- I admit, I almost always started it coz I loved antagonizing her.
Sidra (coming up soon) who used to sit behind us would wearily roll her eyes and scream "Can you guys stop being COMPLETE IDIOTS FOR ONE DAY?" .
Roohi and I would stop, look behind at her, say in unison "But she started it!!", turn back in front and carry on fighting/screaming/pulling hair/vandalising each other's stuff.
Sidra would tiredly get up, pack her books and go to the back to sit with Arpeeta and Ju (coming up too).

At every break, we'd assign Duties (Arpu was in charge of this). Roohi used to be in charge of getting the garlic bread but she'd take ages.Finally she exploded in exasperation one day and angrily stated that she absolutely WOULD NOT get the garlic bread for us anymore.
Why?
"Coz I'M TOO SHORT AND EVERYONE PUSHES ME ASIDE AND MANAGES TO GET THEIR ORDER IN BEFORE ME!!'


That was Roohi- A child at heart, emotional, loving, easily angered but easily placated, a neat freak, conscious about her height (it's part of the charm baby!) and the butt of my jokes.

Ahhh thank God somethings never change :D

Roohi is one of my dearest friends. We've been through so much and I know I don't say this emo-senti shit enough but- I love you Roohi! You've been there for me so many times that I've lost count. I still have those silly notes we would write to each other in class and I still remember how a teacher once told you she loved reading your curlicue handwriting..as yes as much as I snorted about how annoying it was to read, I loved it too.


Now stop complaining about how I never blog about you because I don't care about you!!!
See! I care!

-Mahi cackles and walks away, folding Roohi's papers in half-
Heh heh heh.

Update : I just called Roohi to tell her to check this blog.
Roohi - Did you write about me??
Me- Maybe..maybe not
Roohi - You slut, you'd better have written about me. You never ever write about me!!!!!
Me- hahahaahahaha

Necessity is the Mother of all.....Creation?

Necessity

Necessity is a whimsical piece about what I think the creator and creation would have looked like.

One exists only because the Other does. The Creator may have created all of this, not because It had some Grand Plan up it's nonexistent sleeve, but maybe to satisfy it's vanity? Maybe it didn't know where this was going and like us it's discovering that chaos aside, there is a certain path things take.

Maybe It is just like us - taking things as they come along.

PS- For all you astronomy fans, I've thrown in a couple of constellations too..

Medium : Acrylic Paints, pencil, charcoal and photoshop to smoothen out the wrinkles caused by my stupid ancient scanner.

My latest piece...finally something with colour.

Damn it's been too long.
I've missed creating.

A family came over today for dinner and asked to see my pieces. I took out about 4-5 of my favourites and I told them what they were about and as I did, I started to recollect the state I was in when I did them.

I realised the ones that were the best- in terms of composition, colour, skill, thought (in my humble eyes) were the ones that had been created when I was angry. The anger isn't the root and the story behind all the drawings..it is merely a medium that allows everything else to flow.

Apparently inspiration strikes when I'm mad.

Which would explain why I haven't done much art in the recent years. I think I was so happy to leave my art teacher behind that I didn't realise I had left inspiration behind too.

Mr D...it dawned upon me that I may actually miss you, for no one got me angrier than you did. You forced me to think harder, draw harder and work harder because of your sheer hostility, which we both know, did not arise from some misguided attempt to bring out my hidden potential- it arose because you were a downright bitchy person.


But still, for what it's worth.....

Thank you.

Work In Progress

It's a Saturday morning.
So Uni started last Monday. That would probably explain why I haven't updated in a while..not because there's any lack of material but because I'm too damn TIRED.
For someone who's being waking up at 12pm everyday since the past 3 months, suddenly having to wake up at 8 am (or sometimes 6am *gasp*) takes a lot.
Damn you, Sleep Debt!
*shakes a fist*

Ah well.

Uni's been good so far!
The fresh meat looks appetising heh heh. 'Twas good meeting old friends again, making some new ones and seeing old ex-friends.
So far I've learnt bits about the Universe, how people can be actually very nice, the stupidity of Singaporeans and how people just cannot act their age.

The new lecturer is dreamy. I was so fascinated by his nose. It was the straightest damn nose I've ever laid my eyes on. I found myself fantasising about how I'd spend hours..lovingly drawing his nose.

Yes, I'm weird. Deal.

Speaking of deal, I had a commentor who wasn't too happy with my post on why-i-hate-kids.
I was told too 'grow up' and that I was far too opinionated despite knowing didley about kids and motherhood.

Hmm, first of all here's a big 'Fuck you' to you.
It's my blog.
I'll post whatever the hell I want to and I'll be opinionated about whatever I want. And you know what's the BEST bit? You can't do a damn thing about it.
You don't get to tell someone what they should or should not blog about because that defeats the purppose of someone starting a blog.
Maybe I missed the memo on 'What-needs-to-go-on-a-blog'?
Gimme a break.

Secondly I never claimed to be the expert on motherhood so quit making stuff up in your head. So kindly think through your comments before you put them up.


I've been reading 'Shantaram' by Gregory David Roberts. It's an amazing book.
If I wasn't so anal about keeping my books clean, I'd have underlined hundreds of beautiful lines in it, just coz they're so intense. There was something about suffering in there..about how when we're kids, sufferring is when we don't get what we want. When we're adults, sufferring is having something taken away from you.
Read the book!
Can't wait to watch the movie version of it (I've heard it's starring Johnny Depp, and that's always a good thing.) Let's hope they don't butcher the book!


Well I'm off to continue reading!
Have a good weekend guys

Oh all these INTERRUPTIONS!

You know you have major attention-span issues when you have an exam tomorrow and yet you find the lines on your palm more interesting that the stuff thats in the textbook.
It's been a shitty start to the week..I'm smack-bang in the middle of my exams and I CAN'T SEEM TO GET ANY STUDYING DONE!!!


So I'd like to assign the blame to things/people other than me (What?? It's NEVER my fault!*pfft*)

1) The weather - It's 4pm, the sun is supposed to be shining hard but it looks like it's friggin' 8pm. AND it's raining AND it's cold. Now HOW is one supposed to study when you have sleepy weather like that. YOU TELL ME.

2) I am so bloody STOKED for my upcoming Australia trip (yes AGAIN!) I can't get enough of that place and the lovely people there. Of course planning a trip like this requires a lot of planning and researching and day-dreaming. Once again- not my fault. (Oh shut up and nod.)

3) Kelso- he demands to be let into my room and then proceeds to make puppy eyes and stretches and rolls on his back (and he does this cute little thing where he pretends like he's digging the ground and sneezes when he's pissed off that nothing's being dug up...) ANYWAY the point is- I can't ignore him! It might emotionally/psychologically scar him for life! I HAVE to take a few minutes (hours) off to play with him.

4)Mom comes in and tells me that windbag Uncle M wants one picture of me to send to his nephew. I make the mistake of casually mentioning it to Dev who proceeds to laugh for a good 15 minutes. "Mahi..do you know why I'm laughing?? He wants ONE picture. JUST ONE. You have like a MILLION! It'll take you a month to choose the right picture- left profile? front profile? side profile? full length? half body? coloured? Black and white? candid? formal?"
Har-dee-har-har, funny man. Once again, I can't study because I too am too busy laughing my ass off coz IT'S TRUE- I COULDN'T choose one pic! I asked dad for his opinion and he's like "stop annoying me."
pfft. FINE. DON'T BLAME ME IF I SPEND ALL THAT STUDY TIME LOOKING FOR A PIC.

5) All my study notes have tiny little dialogue sessions/doodles. They are INCREDIBLY distracting.

6) Mom keeps interrupting me to tell me or ask me for goss. Once again I CANNOT be disrespectful to an adult (especially my mom) and tell her to buzz of. My parents raised a good kid, ok? So....we gossip and have some coffee.

7) I am in collaboration with someone to start a new something. More on that later. I don't really spend that much time on this collabo, but I am running out of excuses..

8)......um....my airconditioner is too cold.


OKAY OKAY I'M GOING NOW.

(wish me luck)

Putting the "A" in 'essAy Assignment' =D

Mahi's Guide to Enhancing Student-Tutor Relationships


- Talk to the tutor- And I don't mean 'answer', I mean 'TALK'. Ask him how his day went. Ask him where he got his eyesore of a tee shirt from. Stuff like that. I know for a fact that tutors appreciate this.

- Smile at the tutor if you see him/her outside of class. We're not in primary school anymore. We're all adults here (well...most of us!)..and a smile can brighten up anyones day, didn't you know?

- Speak up in class- Singaporeans reading this probably know what I'm talking about..the whole class keeps quiet, waiting for someone to bail them out whenever a question is posed.
Why? It's not a bloody interrogation!
I get so annoyed when everyone just clams up. Too scared to draw attention? Okay, no problem, let me bail you out. It just gives me an avenue to show how much more memorable, extroverted and funnier I am than you. "Oh Look. There goes the Ray-of-Sunshine answering all the bonus questions."
Well-Too-damn-bad-for-YOU.

- Answer INTELLIGENTLY- If you don't have a clue, DON'T answer and make an ass out of yourself. Major brownie points are lost this way. Sure, it starts off funny but it just ends in a mess (much like my love life =D)

- Flirt. It's quite funny and it brings in a surprising amount of ease in a tutor-student relationship but needless to say, dont cross the line and um...don't go all 'basic instinct' on him/her (coz I have a feeling thats probably illegal in quite a few places)
Here's an example -
Tall, rather cute girl walks upto her tutor after a lecture and asks if she can collect her graded essay back. Tutor says she can, but she could also just wait for the tutor to collect it for her and return it during class, thereby saving her the trouble of going herself. Girl says "Thanks!" and smiles. Tutor smiles, winks and says "There's a labour fee for that.."
Girl looks over shoulder, smiles and says "Okay, any drink from the canteen is on me."
See! Simple, fun and juuuuust a teeensy weensy bit of flirting. It's not even that obvious, but it's there!
And for GOD'S SAKE. DON'T keep prolonged eye contact and/or lick your lips lasciviously.
Coz thats like..SO tacky.
(In case anyone was wondering - This pseudo-flirting was done AFTER the paper was graded, and um..Tall, rather cute girl gets an "A". Hypothetically speaking, of course.)





Oh boy. I so flirted my way to an "A".
(Or I could have just got the grade through my own merit, but we all know how I like to make myself sound so wanted what a gorgeous, seductive being I am! :P)

Goddamned Template, I'm a Moron and Titty Talk.

'Tis with a heavy heart I write this...

Due to VIOLENT objections, I have decided to change my template yet again.

Actually the other day I accessed my blog via a PC at my uni library and when it opened I actually went "Say wuuuuuuuut?!" (in falsetto).

It was COMPLETELY wonky!

Now I know why some of you have had such negative responses towards it!
(I'm sure it has nothing to do with the flower or the bright colours, and if it IS too flower-y for you, then...sod off.)

So yes..back to the good ol' drawing board.
Stay tuned..and contrary to what my tone might be, I DO appreciate the feedback.


***

Now as many of you might know, I spend a good hour and a half travelling to uni, and another good hour and a half travelling back home.

That's a total of 3 hours.

But it's fine..coz I enjoy thinking/daydreaming and listening to my music..and most importantly I don't have to worry about making futile/annoying conversation..so it's all good..
EXCEPT-
when you spend all that time travelling and in the end you realise that your classes have, in fact, been cancelled.
Or as I'm realising now- you've mixed up your Tuesday timetable with Monday's.

So I waited outside my class..no one turned up.
And it sorta occured to me that the WHOLE class (including the tutor) couldn't possibly be 15 minutes late..in fact I'm the one who's always 15 minutes late.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the moral of the story is, if you keep skipping your Tuesday classes, God WILL find a way to mess with your head and make you pay (by making you wake up early, travel and then ultimately feel like an IDIOT.)
I swear...I could just picture God chuckling, pointing at me and going "Luh-oooooosah!"

*Mahi shakes a fist*

***
At the Dinner Table -

Mom: This dish that Aunty X sent.. is awful!
Dad: So tell her then.
Mom: No I can't that's so mean!
Dad: Okay..
Mom : But maybe I should tell her. If she doesn't like dishes that I send over she says "Oh P! Honestly, That dish tasted TERRIBLE..I couldn't even swallow it." Can you believe it??
Dad: So tell her then!
Mom: Ya. I'm going to tell her! It's my revenge! Hee hee
Mahi : -while eating, mumbles- Yes..tit for tit. -chuckles to herself-

Mom and Dad: -silence-
Mahi: What? Why ya'll lookin' at me like that?
Dad: She worries me sometimes.
Mom: -nods-

Too Cool for School, Baby, Yea!

Yikes it's been a while since I've updated hasn't it..
I've had sooo many bloody tests and essays, it's not even funny. I'm actually beginning to enjoy writing essays!

Ok, ok let me skip to the interesting bits..

Tall (rather cute) girl arrives at her tutorial class.
Sits down..gives a small happy sigh and turns to her friend and says "This subject is amazing isn't it? They're not giving us a mid-term test..how cool is that? Life is goooooood."
Friend turns slowly..stares...and says "The mid-term test was last week....."

Upon hearing those words, Tall (rather cute) Girl's blood runs cold.
She silently panics for 5 seconds.

Time goes by...so slowly
Time goes by...so slowly
.
.
.
.
.
"Ha..ha..You're joking, right?"
"No! The test was last week!"
"Oh..."

Tutor enters class and variety of colourful excuses rush through Tall (rather cute) Girl's head.

'My grandmother passed away...' (Forgive me Grandma.)
'My dog died..' (Forgive me Kelso.)
'My bus broke down...' (Well, it could happen.)
'As I walked out a ruggedly handsome hunk, kidnapped me and we proceeded to make mad, passionate love...' (I wish that would happen.)

Focus, Focus!

Girl gets up and walks up to the tutor and says:
"Sir..I feel like a real idiot for saying this..but I missed last weeks test..because it completely slipped my mind. I'm sorry. May I have a retest?"
Tutor stares at her and starts laughing..and doesn't stop. Tall (rather cute) girl doesn't like feeling like a royal dumbass, ok?
Finally when he does stop, he tells her she has to write (ANOTHER GODDAMN) essay.


Well, it's better than throwing away 30% of your total grade!

God, I'm such a moron.
Who completely forgets about a test?

Oh don't pop vein, Paranoia McParanoid!

I don't know if any of u remember my event crew job, but anyway there was a friend who was part of the same crew that I was.
He wasn't really someone I was particularly fond of, but we kept things civil.
After the job, everytime I saw him, I could have sworn he would send me HATE vibes, and we all know how good I am at getting vibes.

So recently I heard from a common friend the exact reason as to WHY he disliked me so.

He claims....(wait for it..wait for it....)
that I spoke to our superiors and tried to get him fired in order to steal his job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How fucking paranoid can anyone get!?!?

I still laugh when I think about it.
Because firstly I hated my superiors and I tried to stay out of their way as much as possible. If I dislike you, its highly doubtful that I'll go out of my way to make unnecessary conversation with you (unless you owe me some money, or unless you're hot..in which case its highly doubtful that I'll hate you, OR unless you've given up a limb for me in which case I'll have NO choice but to talk to u).
Secondly, I wouldn't even steal someones eraser, let alone a job.
(I might borrow your eraser and then forget to return it. Two very very different things, ok?)
Thirdly, how on earth can you steal someones job when he's already got the job??



I swear, sometimes I feel like the people around me are one bread short of a sandwich if ya know what I mean.



Either that, or I've been put in the nut-house.
(I know..shame on me..being a future psychologist and all.)

Boo-frikkedy-hoo.