25 May, 2006


L is for Love
That curious thing that seems to be everywhere and yet, elusively, nowhere at the same time.
Love, love, love- makes the world go round,
Love, love, love - we all fall down.
How long does it take for you to get tired of hanging on, and how long does it take for you to realise that letting go isn't even an option?
I think I've loved a lot of people, people who've been there for me, people who annoy me slightly, people who make me laugh and people who make me cry..I've loved them all.
But I doubt I've been in love before (my logic is- if I had been in love, I wouldn't have any doubts..yes?) so I don't know what it is but I do know what it's not. It's not being relieved that you have a chauffeur by default, it's not having arm candy to show off and it's not playing mind games.
Mostly, I think, it's a leap of faith, most of the time, and faith don't come easy these days.

L is Livid
As in 'Livid with Rage'. Not a state I'm often in, but when I'm in it then God save you. I won't scream or throw things but I'll make you wish I had.
I'll say the most hurtful things and I won't regret a word of it..
I remember being in this state all of 2 times in my life.

L is for Life
Now I'm vegetarian by choice and I'm not the sort to force people into turning vegetarian but here's why I did- when I was about 8-9 years old, I saw a goat being slaughtered and I just stopped. A life is a life and I won't be held responsible for the loss of one.
That's that.
Please don't start with 'Oh but plants are alive too!' Come on. What the hell do u expect me to live on? Air?? It's the lesser of the two evils..so get off my back :P
While we're at it, I wouldn't hurt a fly/cockroach/bug but I sure as hell wouldnt want to pet one so get THAT away from me.

L is for Lifestyle Choice
Veg, Non-veg, Gay, Straight, Bi, Smoker, Non-smoker, Likes to wear Pink, Hates cats, likes cross-dressing..whatever, it's your life.
I have no hang-ups as long as you don't expect me to do the same and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
Paedophiles, Molesters, Murderers, Spouse-beaters, Rapists, Animal killers (in no particular order, of course)..all of you need to be shot and I hope your death is a slow and painful one.

L is for Laughter
I love laughing. I can laugh at myself, at you and yo momma.
And I do it quite often- to your face (or yo momma's.)
I will NOT talk to you for too long if you do not make me laugh.. and I'm talking about a 'laugh-WITH-you' kinda way and not a 'laugh-AT-you' sorta way. If you do not see me laughing you may take it as either 1) you're just not very funny or 2) you're sucking the joy out of me.
Both are no-no's in Mahi-land.

L is for Left-handed
Which is what I am. We are rare, precious and often artistic? We are right-brainers which often means our math (read: logic) skills might suck big time but we're really good with our imagination and our hands (read: spatial skills). At a movie, we're more likely to pay attention to the cinematography rather than the words. (That's highly debatable but that's what my psychology tutor said, so there ya go.)
I often get stared at for the way I write..something about my hand being bent at an odd angle, but whatev coz that's the way ahuh, ahuh I LIKE it.

L is for Lemonade
Chilled water, juice of a full lemon (or lime..sheesh nitpicky aren't we?), 2 teaspoons of sugar (or not.....sheesh healthy today aren't we?), a couple of ice cubes and.....a few crushed mint leaves.
Heaven in a glass, I tell you. You'll thank me.

L is for the Lift (or Elevator)
I'm a lazy bum. If there's a lift, I'll take it.
Sheesh, you don't expect me to climb the stair with THESE shoes on, do ya?
Heels work out the gluteus maximus ( I have ALWAYS wanted to use that!!!) too, ya kno.
Don't even try and change my mind.
The only time you'd see me giving the lift a miss, is if a stinky person is in it or if someone took a dump/piss in it.

L is for Loophole
I am sneaky. Bery, Bery sneaky.
I am not proud of this but where and when it suits me, I WILL find a loophole in a deal or a promise- be it in the phrasing, or ambiguity of words or anything else.
I try not to do it but hey I'm only human.
I know. I came pretty damn close to perfect, didn't I?
Ah well.

L is for Light
Light-ness of being, a state which I love being in. It's sublime, it's perfect and it's not chemically induced. It happens rarely and sometimes for no damn good reason but when it does, it feels like the universe is saying 'Today's your day, kiddo. Be happy. Be cool.' (or something like that)
Light is good and it's important while reading. So kids, make sure you have adequate light. Also yellow light give everything a very flattering tinge.

Okay that was my meme, bestowed by the lovely and most yummiest of mummy's- Miz B. Thank you, Laydee! I enjoyed it greatly!

Here are the rules:
If you comment on this entry and beg for a letter, I will give you one.
Thou shalt write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation of what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.
If you want a letter, ask for one in the comment box and I shall choose one for you.

21 May, 2006

You gimme feeevah

Apologies, dear reader, for not updating sooner.
I am unwell.
My throat feels like sandpaper, my nose is more stuffed up than the crowd at Orchard Road on the weekend and my head hurts.
I did go out last night and only had a couple of drinks so I doubt it's a hangover.
Stupid drinks with too much crushed ice.

(This entry might be a little weird.. forgive me for it is written with some odd, unneccesary feverish urgency)

This whole week has gone by in a damn flash. If you ask me what took up so much of my time, I won't really be able to come up with a good answer...yup..twas one of those weeks.

My mom's been talking to me about marriage. She reckons she'll get me introduced to the eligible types when I graduate next year..I will be 23.
For those of you who are yet unaware, I want to get married young, I figured hey! Enjoy married life for about 4 years and have a couple of kids by the time I turn 30.
See I have it all planned out!

I told mom that I'll need to know the guy for AT LEAST a year. At least.
And that don't fit well with my plan.
My head hurts so I'm gonna let you do the math.
Also she's saying stuff like "Don't go only by looks"
Yea Duh Mom. But seriously..you should hear her say it..almost as if she's preparing me for the worst..w.t.f?

Going back to the reason of my state of unwell-ness, 'Guess' recently had a sale on Saturday.
Dear Lord.
Here's some advice - Don't EVER go to a Guess Sale on a Saturday. It's madness and mayhem of the highest order. I couldn't BREATHE, I couldn't move, and much to my chagrin, the pair of jeans that I wanted (in black) were NOT ON BLOODY SALE.
So I settled for the cheaper, but still well-fitting pair. Oh well. There's always next year.
Having said that - Get your jeans from Guess..they fit the BEST.

Also I think I'm psychic for real.
I dreamt about a friend last night, whom I haven't seen or heard from in ages..and boom! I see a mail from him, just now!
Let me tell you this people - There are no such things as coincidences.


My mom just made me the most disgusting home-made remedy..it made my skin crawl.
I need to sleep off the trauma.


15 May, 2006

Wedding Invites, anyone?

Okay, so here's what was happening - My darling friend Mink's sister is getting married, so it naturally fell upon her to do the delivering of the wedding invites. And me being the darling that I am, I offered to keep her company.
Boy...I'm not kidding when I say that had to be the single most entertaining day of my LIFE!

Before I launch into The Story, I must lay some groundwork-
1) I never realised before that it was customary to offer (forcefeed?) sweets and other savouries to the deliverers of the invites..I was soon made aware of this custom.
2) Older Indian men talk A LOT.
3) When in doubt about what is being said, it is wise to always smile and nod. Do NOT make them explain what they say, for they will do so in Great Detail.
4) I think the talking fatigued me more than the travelling (which was done in a car- airconditioned). We must have spent about an average of 40 minutes in each house.
5) Most importantly- never ever EAT before visiting. At the end of such trips, you will feel as if you are bursting at the seams. It's very unflattering.

Okay let's start at the start.

First house we visited was fine.

Second house was NOT fine.
At home was a Sindhi man. Between 60-65 years of age. Balding. Nice straight teeth (dentures?). Talked alot. In Sindhi, of which I only understood a smattering.
So we came in, Mink, him and I exchanged the usual pleasantaries..and then it began.

To say that this man was proud of his house, was a gross understatement.

In between dumping food into our unwilling hands, he showed us every nook and cranny (newly furnished), every bedsheet and pillowcover (always matching) , every cupboard and drawer (brown with gold lines), every toiletseat and towel hanger (green with sea shells on the inside), every drink (a lot, he made a couple of drink jokes which I didn't get), every God picture (drinks and God pictures were in the same cupboard, which I thought was a little retarded and blasphemous), every light switch (seriously he felt the need to give us a demo. come on man,how hard can it be to understand a light switch), down to the drawer handles and the type of cutlery (from Japan) he had...God he showed us EVERYTHING in it's mind numbing detail.

With great glee he showed us his massage chair. He hopped into it. I'm serious. He Hopped..like a kid with ADHD, laid down straight and pressed a button. The leg rest shot out, his slippers flew and hit the TV and the back rest went all the way back.
And all the while he had this scary, crazed smile.

He then gave us some chips to eat and disappeared for two minutes.
Mink: Let's pretend like we're eating it
Mahi: Okay!
-Rustling of bag, "Mmm this is delicious!", noisy dusting off of hands-
Our sneaky ploy didn't work. He came back with MORE food and I'm not joking when I say this...he forced the sweets into my MOUTH. He bypassed the hands altogether.

He then started talking to me in rapid Sindhi. I just smiled sweetly, waited for him to finish and then I said "I'm not Sindhi."
He looked put off.
Then we got saved by the bell..literally. Some furniture guys were at the door..this was our chance!
We bid him goodbye, he didn't really notice, he was too busy being annoyed at the furniture guys..so we left..with chocolate wafers in our hands (which we later disposed off because we were too full and they had gone soft.)

Next house we went to had this nice lady. She has two sons - X1 and X2. Mink told her about the wedding and how people were putting up dances. Then Mink said "Aunty, get X2 to do a dance!"
My smile froze and I turned to Stare at Mink. Did she not recall.......
"I mean, X1 is so good at dancing, we saw him dance last time at so-and-so function..I'm sure X2 can dance as well as him!"
Mother vociferously agreed.
My smile was still frozen. Apparently Mink recalled....that X1 danced...like he had hit an invisible electric fence.
She turned and smiled at me. I still don't know how that cow could control her laughter..just thinking of X1's maniacal dancing sends me into hysterics..but I bit my tongue, nodded and diplomatically said "Yes. X1 dances well."
Mother vociferously agreed again.

Oh how I cursed Mink.

The next house we went to, had a chatty old man who was married to a young thang.
When I say 'chatty' I actually mean 'didn't-shut-the-hell-up-for-5-seconds'
He asked Mink when her turn for marriage would be and she gave him a vague answer and then he turned to me
"And you??"
"Haha, I honestly have no idea, I have to find me a man first!"
"Oh come on! You're so pretty and with your personality, you shouldn't have a problem!"
"You'd be surprised." I chuckled and shrugged..and then thought 'Well, he's RIGHT.'

It was then when he took it upon himself to be the Seeker Of My Groom.
He said "Tell me when you're ready -wink- I already have a boy in mind."
I laughed and said "Thank you.." and then laughed some more when I thought of my mother's reaction to finding out that I was getting married to a Sindhi boy found by a complete Sindhi stranger.
His wife however, whispered with great Hostility "Uske liye already ek ladki hai." (We already have a girl for him.)
He just waved off what she said and continued to look very pleased with himself.
After a l0ng talk about the political scene in Singapore, psychiatry and psychology and husbandry, we left.

(I must say I was very impressed that none of the people went "OOoh! So you can read my mind!" when I told them I studied psychology. If I had heard anyone say that ONE MORE TIME, I'd have gone NUTS and said "That's called being 'psychic'. Dumbass." )

The next house we visited was one of a popular man. He wasn't home so we had a little talk with the wife. She was handsome, simple and spoke well. Her eyes and smile held great intelligence and humanity in them. I felt immense respect for her.
She told us sadly that if she had a choice she would have never got married at all.
"I'n pretty sure Uncle loves me, but I'm indifferent." She said very matter-of-factly.
She cautioned us against entering marriages with our favourite pair of rose-tinted glasses on..."..but I'm jaded already"
She smiled wistfully.

She told us horror stories about her mother-in-law and she said she told her kids that they didnt have to get married at all...hearing such things that were polar opposites of everything that I had grown up hearing, was a bit of a shock.
I felt sad for her because I felt she deserved better. Sure, no one needs to be in a great marriage to be happy but I couldn't help feeling that she was someone who badly wanted to know love, even now.
My own parents, who've had their usual tiffs, are still very much in love.
But it was good for both Mink and I to hear about what she had been through. I think we received an important education in those 45 minutes..the mood was very serious.
We bid her goodbye and gave her a hug.

The best visit was the one where no one was home. We passed the invite to the maid, and high fived each other.

We visited more houses, but those had some semblance of normalcy that we were used to.
But the men still talked incessantly. And they still insisted we eat.

I honestly think the talking fatigued me the most. And the smiling. The constant smiling made my face muscles feel like they were going to drop dead.
I went to bed, and I think the second my head touched the pillow, I fell asleep.
I had the most seamless, deep sleep I had ever had in a long time.

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10 May, 2006

I got my Viiiiiisa!

As the title hints...I GOT MY AUSSIE VISA!

Now I know a lot of you are going "Big deal" but trust me ..it is.

You see I don't have much luck when it comes to all this ticketing and visa business, mostly because I often forget to bring along a couple of important documents or I arrive late or I forget to confirm my tickets or I end up with psycho travel agents..which reminds me of how ballistic the agent went coz I blamed him for not being a competent agent (well I didn't say THAT word-for-word but I said it nicely..)

Anyway he started screaming and shouting and all that time I was staring, petrified, at the 3 menacing clay Eagle figurines behind him...he looked like he could turn around at any minute, grab one figurine at a time and hurl it straight at mine, Mink's and Arpu's heads, knocking us down like bowling pins...
And thats some scary shit.

And then there's the evil bitch of a visa officer at the Aussie embassy...you would think that the Aussie's being such friendly, outgoing people would have a friendly, outgoing officer but NOOOO.
This one was capable of shrivelling up balls with one look.
She's the same officer I got last year too..and she made my life hell. I was there at the embassy so often that even the guards started giving me sympathetic looks.

But this time I went prepared.
I made list after list after list and I checked it twice.

While I was waiting for my turn I saw her execute her ball-shrivelling stare at a poor foreign student.
"Evidence of funds?? But I'm carrying this much money with me! Why didn't you tell me I had to bring an evidence-of-funds letter??"

Ahhh my Indian brother. That shrivelled ball looks painful.

I felt really bad for him, but I did chuckle a bit too coz the expression on his face was really funny. I know. I'm going to hell.
Oh wait. I was in hell last year!

OK but anyway I got my visa there and then..she was SO looking for a something to trip me up, but ha-ha visa bitch - I OUTSMARTED YOU!
Can't touch this na-nana-na, can't touch this

I want to extend a hearty 'THANK YOU' and 'I LOVE YOUUUU' to Mink who faithfully accompanied me...I think she was the good luck charm..even though she said "Mahi I was so expecting you to come back and say 'Goddamit!! I can't believe I forgot THAT document!! Arrrrrrrgh!!!!I'll KILL that visa-bitch!!!!' "

WOohoo Australia, here I come (for real this time)
I can't wait.

About 6 weeks left...

I think I'll start packing.


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05 May, 2006

*Tap..Tap* I should've had more fun today..Oh Well- Pictures!

My exams are over.

Okay this is super messed up, but on the last day of the exams I was meant to have have cheered and day-dreamed about my Aussie trip and gone out for dinner and maybe drinks and partied the night away.

Instead what I did do was walk down to the 'New Zealand Ice Cream' shop at my uni, get ditched for Dinner (Thanks alot Kutti Mink.), get me a Berries of the Forest (or something like..whatever..I'm so addicted to it) Sorbet, head back home, checked my mail..watched TV, checked my mail, played with my dog, had an hour long talk with Dad regarding The Future And How I Was Not Doing The Best That I Was Capable Of Doing Because I Really Am Quite Intelligent But Extremely Lazy.
So the conversation ended with an uncharacteristic uneasiness inside of me.
Dammit I hate dissonance! I hate it with a vengeance.

Its also really frustrating when you check your mail and all you have is Hotmail telling you that your account size has increased. Delete. Thank you for that Hotmail, hopped onto the bandwagon a little late didn't we. Tell you what Hotmail; I'll hang onto my Gmail Account anyway..But really. Keep up the good work.

No I'm not PMS-ing.
And even if I were, the above are still good excuses to whine.

On the other hand..I am feeling a little uplifted thinking about how my friends are actually looking forward to me visiting Australia (Yes, they are and No, I'm not delusional, dammit!)

I'll be going in June for about 3 weeks..Last year was such a blast it would've been a travesty not to do it again!
So here's a small pictoral trip down memory lane...

This was at Flinder's Street Station. There's a bus there that says "Melbourne" many times over, in case you happen to forget where you are. Seriously though the station looks lovely and I think there's a story about how the designs for this station and the design for another station in India got mixed up (designed by the same guy), hence Flinder's St Station has a supposedly Indian look about it. If I'm wrong please send all blame mail to Arpu. She told me the story.

This pic might look familiar..t'was my old profile picture..anyway there's me, Dev and Siddhart (Dev's friend). Arpu you capture my left profile so well! This was at a pub we visited after we went salsa dancing. So there we were, tired, happy, hungry and drinking...

And here's the moral of the story.
Don't Drink on an Empty Stomach. Especially not when there's a camera around to capture stuff that you do. Thank you Dev. You capture my moustache profile so well!
Hey..don't look at me. Some guy's are into this sorta thing *shrugs*

This was where I had my little pant debacle. If you're ever at Fitzroy street, PLEASE do yourself a favour and visit 'Monroe's'. Their dessert is OUT of this WORLD. Best sticky date pudding I ever had. Also the ghost images in this pic are SO COOL. I was telling the waiter how to click ("JUST HOLD THE BUTTON DOWN!") He STILL didn't get the technique quite right but hey..makes for a cool pic!

Okay So Arpu and I were in the city, really bored. So we came across this place - The Immigration Museum.
No. Not going inside. I'd rather spend that money on drinks.
"Arpu just take a pic of me outside the museum. At least I can show my parents that I did something educational."

I love this pic! It has such a nice monochrome tone to it..it's the colours! Anyway that's Arpu, Me and Dev's brother Ravi (who, by the way, plays bass guitar in a band called 'Skybombers' they're relatively new and not on radio yet..I think.. but they're on myspace.com so check 'em out!) in the city.

This is the BEST. This was when we had all driven down to see the 12 Apostles..seriously people...look up breath-taking in the dictionary and you'll see the 12 Apostles. One of the most amazing sights you'll ever see. I went mad with joy there (this involved a lot of running and jumping and laughing and squealing..which under normal circumstances you will not see me do a lot of..well except the laughing bit.) This pic is a keeper!

AAh there's so much more but blogger's picture uploading tool is such a bitch and I can't be arsed to sit and wait for this to load. Maybe later..

But I am a lot more cheered up now, thanks! =D

Take care guys and have an awesome weekend!

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02 May, 2006

The one where Mahi attended a Wedding..

Remember the wedding I was telling you guys about??
Well I attended it and it was AWESOME.

Awesome for many reasons.

Awesome because (most importantly) there were so many many pretty people to look at.
Awesome because I met a lady who was completely off her rocker and took a shine to me.

The bride and groom are Indians from the UK and some of their friends had come down.
Their friends were very pretty to look at..the men and the women.
And oh.
British accents..are so...delicious.
A couple of times when one of the guys was chatting with me, I'd just hear the accent and zone out.
It was gorgeous.
It was yummy.
So were a couple of the men, too :P

SO anyway, let me tell you about the crazy lady.
My parents and I were at this table that had two couples - one pair in their early 40's and the other in their mid-fifties.
So the younger of the two ladies saw me and exclaimed "Oh I saw you this morning at the wedding ceremony, and I remember thinking 'Wow! She's CUTE! And so tall too!' "
(In case you didn't realise by now, I like this lady a lot.)
So I smiled modestly (?!?!) and said "Thank you.."
From there I can't remember how the topic turned to my future marriage.

Mom: Oh we want to look for a boy for her from Singapore..
Younger lady: Oh you should talk to her-points to older woman, who had spent the entire time just staring at me- her son is so handsome! And he's 6'2 in height! What's your height??
Me: Erm..5'9..
Older lady: -Happily- Yes! The two of you would look so nice together!
Me: -Silence....caught-in-the-headlights-look, followed by nervous laughter- UHhh hah..ha..ha...

All the three ladies look extremely Happy.

And then comes the freaky bit. I didn't realise this until mom told me much later, but the crazy old Lady very sneakily took out her camera AND STARTED TAKING PICTURES OF ME!


I did remember a couple of flashes but come ON! It was a wedding for pete's sake. Everyone was taking pictures.
And apparently once she stood behind me and my mom, and with extremely complicated hand signals, told her partner in crime to take a picture of us.

My goodness.
I thought this shit only happened in bad hindi movies!

I got a bit scared after that and was ever-s0-thankful when I was taken to the table full of young people.
I think that greatly put off the old lady.
Or maybe she just took more pictures of my back.
Never underestimate the cunning and smarts of a woman seeking a bride for her son.
They are relentless.

But I shouldn't talk.
Mom was having a field day...so many young, eligible bachelors...all in one room..with nowhere to run or hide.
She had this glint in her eye. It scared me. I actually felt a bit sorry for them.
Every now and then I'd catch her eyes trailing one poor guy (prey?) and she'd mumble "Hmm. What a smart looking boy. Not bad. I must find out more."
And then I'd whisper, mortified "Mom! More subtlety please. Be cool!"
And then she'd shrug nonchalantly and say "Just looking..no harm..it's for you, after all."

So anyway towards the end I had a lovely time chatting with an interesting gentlemen ( I reckon the brows worked after all!) and after a while Mom came by to tell me it was time to leave.."Mahi dear, are you ready to go? Oh hello!"
"X meet Mom. Mom meet X."
And Mom turned all GIGGLY.

So I said my goodbyes, went to the original table, said my goodbyes and the Old Lady stood up, pulled me (I thought she was gonna choke slam me or something) into a tight hug, smothered me with kisses and said "So nice meeting you..such a pretty girl, take care all the best, so lovely, so lovely."
By this time I wasn't hugging her back.
I was struggling to escape.
These women can be deceptively strong.

Which brings me to a couple of questions/points-
1) If her son was so goodlooking, why has she resorted to taking pictures of girls she's JUST met. I found it a tad creepy.
2) If my mom knew she was taking pictures of me, why didn't she say something. I find THAT a tad worrying.
3) Men from the UK are lovely. I turn into mush when I hear the accent. Fake-o Brit accents don't turn me into mush. It's not cute (unless I'm the one faking the accent.)
4) Everyone should attend an Indian Wedding. You will be shocked and awed.

Ahhh weddings.

I love it!

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