05 June, 2005

The job (or shoes) from hell.

I'm baaaaaaack! And i'm so majorly pooped out.
I started off this blog around lunchtime...got depressed recalling what i did on the job..decided to put off any recalling until i was more well rested and in better spirits...
And now, here I am!

OK let me start from the start .

You know when u go to all those fancy shmancy conventions/events at those fancy shmancy hotels? You know the people there who are dressed in black, who wear spiffy shoes and have ID tags (WITH barcodes) and who always seem to be smiling and who direct you with a stiff hand gesture and who use ULTRA courteous language, even when u ask them the rudest question?
You know THOSE people?

Yea, I was one of 'em for two whole days.
Painful sho..Shoes, barcodes, genteel smile,itchy black top polite language AND ALL!
Oh stop laughing, you. I CAN be courteous when i want to be :P

So yea i was part of the event crew..and i was also an usher..and i got to rub shoulders with the delegates (ok FINE..more like point international delegates and ministers to the toilets/information counters/their seats...watev.)
But MORE IMPORTANTLY i had my OWN ID tag and i was able to access RESTRICTED areas!
So "nyah nyah nyah" to you hehe.

But it was fun albeit a little tiring..the delegates weren't stick-in-the-mud ol' fogeys (well..at least not the non-indian ones..)..they were actually pretty pleasant!
And believe me..one DEFINITELY appreciates pleasantness, after being on ure feet for 7 hours STRAIGHT as an usher (I doubt even these military men had to stand at attention for THAT long)..And during those trying times, a smile and a bright 'hello!' to me, meant the world and totally lifted my dreary spirits (come on..can u really imagine ME standing still at one place?? i mean i admit i'm lazy..but this was craziness..i wanted to DIE.)

The most embarassing bit i guess was when i mixed up 2 delegates names..I thought delegate A was delegate B and pointed him to B's seat..and he grinned and said "Thank you, you're very sweet but i know my seat's that way *points in opposite direction*"
I replied "Oh dear! Sorry sir..my mistake *sweet grin*" when i was REALLY thinking 'oh fuck..WELL DONE mahi..now your embarassing yourself at an international level. Give yourself a pat on the back, will ya?'

And you know I was just working for the event crew..technical stuff..but i had delegates coming up to me and asking if i knew where to get complimentary parking coupons, what was hotel policy, where the toilet was ( i anticipated this one..so the first thing i did was familiarise myself with the toilets..i also did this so i knew where to hide when my feet got too tired =D)..So in cases like the first two..i just looked all intelligent and knowing and said ''Sir, perhaps my superior might be able to help you with that information?''
oh oh my FAVOURITE was when they asked for the guest list..i got to say "I'm sorry sir, but I'm not at liberty to reveal that information." I felt SOOO FBI-ey and Secret Service-y and all that!
Heheheeh i knoww...CHEAP THRILLS!

I also got to have coffee and snacks on fancy cutlery that the delegates used ( of course this was done when neither the delegates nor my superiors were around). I think i'm a pretty bad influence coz all my fellow crewmen and crew-women were wary of having the coffee and snacks..until i said "People..the coffee and snacks are ours just as much as theirs! We've worked our butts off for this! We can't possibly get fired for having a COFFEE. *dramatic pause* Who's with me."
Following this, i bravely set forward..grabbed a cup in slow-mo..and when i turned on the coffee tap i heard soft gasps from my friend. It's like i had shown 'em that fire exists. Yessiree..the revolution had started.
Heh heh heh.

That was the fun stuff...I also got to do mic checks before the delegates came in..so i got to tap loads of mics and say "testing..testing..this is mahima r..i rock..yes i do" (Yea..as u can presume..that was met by a few groans)

The BAD stuff were my shoes, the food we were served, and the god forbidden hours i had to wake up at.

My shoes sucked on the first day..it's proper decorum to wear closed toed black shoes...me being me..i had closed toed, black and grey shoes.. they look super funky..but alas..often the nicest looking things are the tools of the devil.
I ended up with the bitchiest of shoe bites...it was pure AGONY..i often found myself looking down at my feet and thinking 'Bitches. You've hurt me. But I'll still keep you on. Bitches.'
(Yea..hours of standing in agony can make a person go a bit strange in the head AND give you temporary Tourette's.)..So i surrendered at the end of the day and told my superior there was no way in hell i was gonna wear them the next day. I think she felt my pain coz she let me get away with my open toed ones.

Next..the food...
Food has always been a bit of an issue here, coz im a vegetarian..and the bitch caterer's sent us food that was this - crap rice + cabbage from hell + chicken.
I half thought of throwing a hissy fit and DEMANDING that i have a PURE veg meal..until i realised that i was turning into one of those super anal vegetarians that piss me off.....plus, a new meal would have taken a good two hours to arrive.( I think it was reason no.2 that tipped the scale this time haha)
So, better sense prevailed and i just gave my friends the meat and settled for what was left. Aah there is no rest for the weary.

The worst was having to wake up at 5.30 am. That just downright SUCKED.
'Nuff said. I can almost hear you going "Aww..poor thing!"

So yeeeup...that was my job over the weekend...it was good and bad..y'know..ya cant have a rainbow without the rain, and it was a wonderful learning experience and blah blah blah.

Aah screw it.
I'm just glad it's over. REALLY glad. Even my feet are glad (ESPECIALLY my feet) they look like theyve been to hell and back..and what's more important is that i can finally wake up at my usual time.

I think i just realised i love being a lazy bum.

heh heh heh
I've never appreciated my soft cushy job as the resident bum, more than i do now.
*kisses her bedroom floor*


Anonymous Cheryl did the happy dance and finally said..

Hahaha mahi u're back! Man..actually i wanted to hear if there were any hook ups wit u n some dude..darn..but anywayz i understand what yr poor feet went thru la..poor things..u shld have bitten those bitches b4 u wore them! Haven't u heard? bite 'em b4 they bite u!

9:57 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

chicken, rice and cabbage? blech!!

hope your feetsies feel better soon!!

10:02 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

cheryl - yea i didnt realise theyd turn out to be so horrible coz ive worn em before...but never for the whollllllle damn day...i overestimated the hardiness of my feet haha

dawn - yea it looked and tasted as disgusting as it looks..
thank uuu my feet do feel better...but they look like theyve been thru a war..:(

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

This entry is too long..

10:47 AM  
Blogger The Box did the happy dance and finally said..

Well girlfriend, when you report, you don't kid around do you?

I've never worn ladies shoes but I met a wedding planner that knew full well the havoc they wreak. He had two pairs of shoes for every session (reception, church wedding, dinner). Apparently, your feet can swell up to half to half a size "and it is the foolish bride that ignores this at her peril." He prepared a spare pair for the bride, the bridesmaids and mothers of the bride and groom.

"You people should have come in at lunch! Don't you know your feet are smaller when you wake and expand during the day?! Now I'll have to guess the backup size and hope there's no trouble!"

Guy's hardcore I tell you.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

anonymous - welll *pffft* sorry for trying to include you in the experience!

box - woah that IS hardcore man..but its true! u should (or shouldnt..i cant remember) buy shoes during the afternoon coz ure feet are at their largest..oh yea i think its safe to say that i NEVER want to become an event planner.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous roohi did the happy dance and finally said..

shoes..ive had very bad experiences with shoes..i think only arpu dina and sidra would remember...mahi u were the emcee for kc's drama nite and we were on the way to see the show...at fort canning i think...i had my brand new heels on and we had to walk up a hill in the sun..brand new shoes..means shoe bites..i had blisters all over my feet..it was sooo bad!i went thru hell!sooo i know what u went thru..

1:15 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

haha roohi i think i remember tt day! those were ure new strappy ones right...yup i remember tt..u were in agony !
ahh killer shoes..cant live em..cant live without em!

2:37 PM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

Gee, someone's chatty.
so you suddenly realised what it is to "work". Let me tell you - there's no such thing as a dream job. You work hard and party hard - no matter what u doing.

And your coffee rebellion on the first day? gee mahi. remind me not to hire you for a job! :p

finally, remind me to take you shoe shopping with me. the very fact that u can write a whole paragraph on shoes is quite impressive. Theyre just "left n right" to me.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

*whine* no! i want my dream job!!!!*throws a temper tantrum*
yea baby..u want a rebel without a cause..im ure lady..im the queen of rebelling without a cause hahaha

and yes..shoes are v.v.v. impt..OBV you wouldnt know :P

6:01 PM  

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