22 March, 2007

I vote that we bring back the 80's!

I was having a chat today with my friend Naidu (or 'Fartface Naidu' as I like to call her, affectionately of course. She calls me 'Poopyhead' okay? So don't judge.)
Anyway we were talking about the 80's and it totally sent me on a nostalgic ride.

My mom back then, for reasons still unknown to me, had recorded 1987's Grammy awards, a 'Wham' (or'Wham! UK' if you're particular about these things...) documentary and one random episode of 'Top of the Pops'.
When you were in Lagos back then, you didn't have the privilege of being very up-to-date with the music scene. So for literally years, the only music videos I had watched were the ones from these tapes.
I had by-hearted all the lyrics from the songs in the 'Wham' documentary. Careless Whisper I would expertly croon. Wake me up before you go-go ? No problemo. I thought the neon shirts in that video were THE SHIT. I yearned for them. Club Tropicana was awesome back then. I had the biggest crush on George Michael and his Lady Di hairdo. Semi-naked men playing the trumpet and jumping into pools? Fun! I thought it was THE SHIT. Last Christmas is still one of my all time favourite tracks.
The only song I remember from the TOTP episode is Kylie Minogue's 'I should be so lucky'. I guess the other songs must've really been shit.
And the Grammy's...they were awesome...Michael Jackson when he still looked slightly black is always a good thing to see.

Apart from the music, let's not forget the other important things from the 80's.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. How awesome were they? I LOVED them. I had a teensy crush on Donatello (he was the one with the purple band.) Yes, yes in hindsight, having a crush on a turtle mutant who's color was purple is VERY disturbing but hey! Such is the innocence of childhood, so let's just drop the subject, oh-kay?
Speaking of the TMNT, have you guys heard about the new TMNT movie coming out? It's with 3-D animation and all that stuff. Call me old-school, but I'm not a big fan of that. I'll choose a badly-drawn 2-D cartoon any day.
Speaking of badly drawn, remember He-Man and his twin sister She-ra?? "By the power of Grayskullll, I am Heeeee-MAaaaaaan"
Weren't they amazing? I remember stomping around the house in my mom's heels, brandishing a broomstick, pretending I was She-Ra. She was da bomb (who says that anymore?). Sigh. I love heels.

Forget TV, remember the dressing??
I would love to put up old pics of my mom and her friends with poofy pants and bad poodle-hair but I think she'd murder me. But think about it...if we bought the 80's back, there would be no such thing as bad taste! When everything is so bad, how bad is really bad (which incidentally was the 80's)!?

This is essentially what the 80's represented, people- Being non-judgmental.
People were allowed to dress, say, do whatever they wanted and nothing was considered a disaster. People were happy with their bad clothes and bad hair and bad make up. Everyone was just content and reveled in their bad taste.

I say forget bringing sexy back.
Bring back the 80's, baby.

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17 March, 2007

The Male of The Species.

I don't get it.

Why don't you men call when you bloody say you'll call?
You guys aren't turning anyone on with the wait, you know? What gives?
I know there's this '3 day' rule, where you call only on the 3rd day - but hey, guess what?
Just call when you say you'll call.
You don't make Goddesses wait!!!!!!!!!!!

You like saying you want to see me mad and yet when I'm REALLY mad you behave like a being with the intellectual capacity of an aardvark. And then you fumble and say nonsense that gets us mad-der.
So this brings me to the solution -
1) Don't say stupid things like "I want to see you angry, hee hee" coz you'll get your wish and you won't like it. I'm nasty when I'm angry.
2) Just don't get me mad. Playful mad's okay but I'm essentially off my rocker- you can never tell when when the playfulness will get serious. (And neither do I.)

Don't say stuff like "Quit whining" when a woman's got her period.
Don't say it unless you bleed yourself or you want to start bleeding. I leave the rest to your imagination.

When you know a woman's spent a good 3 hours making a meal for you, don't screw up the moment by going "Ooh..too much salt, old girl!"

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY when a woman asks you the following-
1) Do I look fat?
2) Is she hotter than me?
3) Do I look bloated?
We're quick on the uptake. Don't pause coz we'll know and we won't be happy.


I can't believe we have to tell you guys this stuff.


(As you can tell, I'm disgruntled. Boo.)


09 March, 2007

The Point of Life is...

...that there is NO point.
No, no I'm not in a suicidal state of mind or anything..don't get frantic.

Maybe I'm just slow on the uptake (we all know I'm not always as quick and witty and smart as I portray myself to be on this blog heh heh), but I'm starting to realise life isn't about One Big Answer at the end of the road.
There isn't any '42'-esque sorta climax (or anticlimax, as anyone who read The Hitchikers Guide the Galaxy would know. If you haven't read it, then "Shame on you.". If you were planning on reading it, then "I'm sorry I spoilt the ending..but read it anyway coz its the funniest book EVER." If you read it but didn't get the humor, then "Tsk, Tsk". If you HAVE read it and did INDEED get the humor, then "Congrats, you're as smart as I am. Pat yourself on the back..NOW.")

Okay back to my point- I think life's about the little triumphs. One triumph is supposed to tide you over till the next one arrives and we hope its bigger and better than the last. And if it's too tiny to tide you over then you sink into a stupor of sorts, secretly waiting until the next triumph arrives. Such is the form that the Opium of Life takes.

And therein ends my chunk of wisdom regarding The Philosophy Of Life.
But don't take my word for it, coz I'll have an entire new (and probably contradictory) chunk of 'wisdom' the next time I have another epiphany/a new crush/completed a new painting.

'Kay I used up like 3 months worth of accumulated brain power over this...I know coz my brain, like, hurts.


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