That Discovery-Event Crew-Teacher Chick? She's Hot.

Well I hope everyones New Year is off to a great start!

Today was the last day of work for me, and I know I whined like an idiot about it but I really started loving that place!
Everyone from the office chipped in and bought me a lovely necklace and a pair of earrings ..and then asked me to wear it, and then said I looked like a Princess.
=D
It takes so little to make me happy, its almost sad!

But you know as I was sitting at my desk and surfing er..working, I thought back on the other jobs I had before..
There was the job from hell. This ended badly- a bad shoe bite and a broken friendship.

But before that there was the nicer job - As a substitute teacher at my old secondary school. All the teachers recognised me (seriously..how can you forget someone like me :P).
There was one teacher in particular who always had like REALLY bad breath..you know the sort of breath you have when you don't brush your teeth and then say "Hmm let's see..how can I make my breath even worse? Oh I know! I'll have some fish..or should I have raw eggs? Oh what the hell! I'll have both!"

So I went to talk to her about the job and I was talking (trying very hard to not come within breath-smelling distance of her) when she suddenly interrupted me with a wave of her hand "You're very beautiful you know" and then stared intensely at my face.
At this point, memories of this lady giving my best friend a traumatising smack across her bum popped into my mind.
The only thing going through my mind at that moment was 'Oh please don't touch my bum, please please dont touch my bum.'
But she didnt, so PHEW.
So after that she asked me to get her a file from a high cupboard and while I was trying to reach it, she says "I never noticed before but you have very nice legs..."
-cue nervous laughter from Mahi-
"Heh..heh heh...heh....thanks Ms D."
-frantically pulls skirt to make it look longer while Ms D's back is turned-

So much uncomfortable sexual innuendo later, I finally got my timetable, marched upto the Secondary 1 (that's 7th grade for my non-Singaporean friends) class and entered.
Slight digression - Remember those bitchy teachers who'd make you quake in your boots the minute they entered? Yea? Well, it was MY turn now.
"Stand. And greet me."
-Mahi turns back and writes her name on the board (with a great flourish at the end)-
The class just sits there..
"STAND."
"Gooood morning Miss R."
"Good Morning. I have work for you to do. There is to be no noise whatsoever."
-Class starts mumbling..noise level rises-
"Seriously. You guys are thirteen. Do you think you could handle keeping quiet for 5 minutes? No? Apparently not. Ok 2?? Try keeping a lid on it for two minutes..I won't ask more of you."
Aaaand there was blissful silence for the rest of the period.
Oh I had 'em quakin' alright!

I know...I'm terrible .
=)

But I got my comeuppance.
Next class I was minding was another Sec 1 class. It was Math period and they had nothing to do.
Mr K, my Sec 1 Math teacher walked in and said "OK, let me teach them something since they have nothing to do."
"Now girls...this is a pawallelogwam. The formula for calculating the area is.."
Suddenly he stops, turns to me, gives a small smile and says "You had trouble with this, remember?"
Holy SHIT, the guy actually remembered that I had problems with area and volume calculations!!!


Oh and unfortunately for me, the Literature teacher whom I got demoted (it's a long story) was still around..and if looks could kill I'd be dead, chopped and my body pieces would be scattered across Singapore, by now.


Being there on the other side really put things in a whole new perspective for me. I realised you have to be SUPER dedicated to teaching to actually envision yourself doing this for the next 10, 20 , 30 years.
Also teachers need to get a life sometimes.
(To the teachers out there reading this, I'm sorry I know this sounds like a sweeping statement but I've had a few teachers themselves tell me that joining the teaching profession is an extremely efficient way of killing your social life.)

So anyway, this is what I learnt:

1) Teachers aren't dumb. They know you're smsing someone/reading something/doing something you're not supposed to be doing, under your table. If you don't get caught, don't congratulate yourself..you didn't get caught because they couldn't be bothered to catch you.
2) Teachers DO gossip about students. They do it alarmingly often. The gossip is as mean as it is in any other place or in any other situation.
3) Don't go to the school counsellor with your problems. You're better off telling it to someone who won't gleefully tell the next teacher she comes across. I hope this was just a one off case at the school I was at.
4) You know that teacher whom you think is always out to get you? Yea..you're not being paranoid. She IS out to get you.
5) Staff toilets are way cleaner. Because they get cleaned more often. Also, the toilet paper gets replenished more often.


Woo got a bit sidetracked there..

I know I promised photos in my previous post, but I realised I look like crap in the Xmas pics, so...I'm not putting any up =)


So how was everyone else's start to the year?