25 February, 2007

Dude Looks Like Doctor.

When my mom first talked to my brother about taking up medicine as a profession, he seemed really unsure.

"But Mom..sometimes my hand shakes..like this - *Held out hand and twitched it slightly*- What if I'm in a surgery and I slice open an artery?? I'll get sued for malpractice!"

My mom told this to my genial, jolly doctor who chuckled and said "Tell him to become a gynecologist..the women will love him."
They burst out laughing and I..I, of course, tuned out and went to a happier, less traumatizing place.

Anyway Point Is - My brother got accepted into medicine!
(The Uni name and stuff will be kept under wraps for now)

It's heartening to know that good looks AND brains run in the family.
Heh heh heh heh hehhhh

So just as I start to think "Wow..my brother's pretty brainy...who knew?", I get this call from him -

Bro - Eh...Guess what? I got into an accident
Mahi - What!?!!?

This accident took place in Dubai, where he stopped over, on his way to the interview place. Apparently he went on his 'Desert Safari' thingie where you get to ride dune buggies in the desert. Carrying on..

Mahi - What!?!!? What happened??
Bro - I was riding the dune buggy right, and I crashed into a small tree. Now I've got scratches on my face (this is a big deal to him..he can give Derek Zoolander a run for his money) and a small burn.
Mahi - ....Let me get this straight. 1 day before your important interview, you decide to drive a vehicle you've never driven before...
Bro - Huh huh huh huh (that's how he laughs)
Mahi - ......you also manage to find a TREE in the middle of the desert to bump into!?!?
Bro - Huh huh huh I was trying to avoid a sand bump!
Mahi - Idiot! Its a desert!! What did you expect to find there?? Water? So to avoid it you bump into a tree?! Possibly the only tree in the entire desert?
Bro - Huh huh huh huh yeah..

So...he gets to become a doctor..but he's nutty enough to find a tree to bump into.
In the middle of the desert.

Good Grief.

Oh, oh Medha just reminded me!
Before my brother went for his interviews he would bug me to coach him.
And me being the giving, gracious person that I am, I would oblige (and then inform him that he owed me. Big Time.)
One of the questions I asked him "If you were to resettle on Mars, what are 3 things that you would bring along with you?" (I swear..this was a question that had been asked before)
Bro - I would bring a never-ending supply of oxygen. A steady supply of water...
Me - ...and?
Bro - A woman. To repopulate Mars. Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh

Good looks AND Brains run in the family?
Add 'A sense of humor' to that list ;)

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21 February, 2007

Selling my Hair and Talking to Idiots

I recently cut my hair.
It's been long overdue.. I think the last time I cut it was about a year back.
I know, I know: Holy Split-ends, Batman!

Anyway the over-zealous but extremely sweet Irene, who's been cutting my hair since the past 7 years, happily chopped off a good 3 inches.
I gulped slowly when I saw the end result, but figured that there wasn't anything I could do about spilt milk (cut hair?)

So a few minutes back the very engaged but slightly odd Dev told me that I should pull a Britney.
He dared me to sell my hair online.
He thinks you guys would actually buy it.

Camaan! You guys are too stingy to buy my ART, there's no way any of you would buy my hair!

Or would you?

Remember, it was Dev's idea.
Also if you really do want to buy my hair, for whatever reason (I don't need to know), do let me know. I'm sure we could settle on a good price.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go chop off some of my Barbie dolls hair and dye it brown.


I am really pissed off.
A few months back I bought an mp3 player with my own hard-saved allowance and what do I find? It stops working after the first time I charge it.

What. The. Hell?
This isn't what I signed up for!

I called up the company to complain and the guy says "Oh it probably isn't working because it is small and it may have a couple of loose parts.."


Calm down, the paranoid of you - I didn't get an iPod.
I should have.

And speaking of geniuses, I called up a popular Pizza take away place a few days back.
Now this is a place I call really often. They have my number, my name and my order (which never ever changes)
And yet....
Mahi - Hi, 1 large veg pizza with the stuffed crust. I don't want any tomato chunks or pineapple pieces on it please.
Woman - Huh?
Mahi - No pineapple and tomato pieces on it please.
Woman - Ohkaay...so you want our new Herb and Cheese pizza?
Mahi - ....No...I said I wanted a veg pizza...
Woman - Oh okay...so the Herb and Cheese with tomato and pineapple pieces..
Mahi - No...no, no. Look..I want a large vegetarian pizza...but skip the pineapple and tomato topping...and please make it stuffed crust.
Woman - Yes Ma'am...so large veg pizza..
Mahi - Yes..
Woman - stuffed crust...
Mahi - ..Yes...
Woman - with no topping except pineapple and tomato.
Mahi - ......

At this point I actually checked my phone to see if it was properly plugged in.

Mahi - I am going to repeat my order again okay? Can you hear me clearly?
Woman - Yes Ma'am.
Mahi - Okay. Large. Vegetarian. Stuffed crust. NO pineapple and tomato on it.
Woman - ......*mumbles to someone*
Mahi - Hello?!? Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!?
Woman - Sorry Ma'am, could you repeat your order?


Mahi - Okay that's it. You're obviously not listening to a word I'm saying. I have ordered this 1 million times before and no one has ever had a problem understanding it. Could you ask someone else to come on the line because for some reason, you refuse to understand my order.

Another lady came on the line, I quietly repeated my order, she said "Got it!" and that was that.

Seriously!? How hard was that?
I hate it when people are mean to waiters but this was seriously pushing it.
What would you have done?
Was I too mean?
Am I going to Hell?
Did I just get someone fired?
Am I asking too many questions?

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18 February, 2007

The Big 2-3 and the Realisation of a Few Things.

Okay so as I turned 23 years I realised a few things.
Small digression : Yes, yes my birthday was yesterday..those of you who wished me and sent me gifts - you ROCK. You guys are mindblowingly awesome and to quote some dude who won an Oscar "You love me! You REALLY love me!"
Those of you who didn't wish me - You suck. Wish me now! Wish me now, dammit!

Okay okay so I realised a few things.

(This is a picture I took on my birthday dinner last night. It is my 'Mahi knows something now that she didn't know previously' a.k.a my 'Realisation' smile. Also I think I look pretty in it, so there.)

I was on the bus when a few kids hopped on. They were tiny. Really tiny. Like 1/5 my height, and they carried school bags that were literally as big and probably weighed about the same as them. This one girl with really long hair, flopped onto a seat, shrugged off her bag and then, stood up and started executing these really nifty dance moves.
It was ADORABLE interesting to watch.
As I watched I found myself starting to smile.
She seemed really into the dance. It was fascinating to watch her complete lack of inhibition and her facial expressions. She was quite literally marching to the beat of her own drum. I think I sort of envied her. She saw me smiling at her, she smiled back, continued dancing and finally sat down when her brother pulled her to sit down.
I think I sort of felt sad for her then. Life somehow gets to you sometimes, eh?

My parents got me this beautiful white gold ring with 3 diamonds on it, for my birthday. Its amazing how something so tiny can make someone feel so......beautiful and lovely and grown up.
I SO get the phrase 'Diamonds are a girl's best friend' now.
(Note to future woo-ers - Be smart in your wooing. Flowers-shmowers. Think 'Diamonds'. Heh heh)

And speaking of wooing, if you must know, my Valentine's Day was absolute shit. Having to suffer through cramps, sitting for a test and then being stuck in peak hour traffic FOR THREE MIND-NUMBING hours is NOT my idea of 'bringing sexy back'.
I was SO not 'bringing sexy back' on the 14th of Feb.
I NEVER end up 'bringing sexy back' on the 14th of Feb.
Screw you St. Valentine. You know what St. Valentine? I don't even think you EXISTED.

Speaking of bringing sexy back, why the hell is everyone suddenly getting married, engaged, attached or in-the-process-of-being-attached?
Is there something in the water!?
Why can't I have some of that water, dammit.
Like you, Do I not bleed if I am pricked?
Like you, Do I not cry if I am hurt?
Like you, why can't I Bring Sexy Back, too?
(I'm sorry I'm loving the phrase 'bringing sexy back'. I can't stop using it!)

I wonder why everyone seems to think I'm a party animal. Almost everyone who heard that I spent my birthday having a quiet dinner with friends, responded with "What happened to your party animal days?"
I hate that. Coz it makes me sound like Paris Hilton, who yuckily enough, shares the same birthday as me. If you draw comparisons between the two of us, I will shoot you.
It also brings to mind the image of a inebriated me, wearing leopard print clothes, drunkenly staggering around (which I assure you has never happened, ever....well at least not all at the same time.)
Anyway that made me realise that I'm quite homely.
Who woulda thunk it?

That's all for now, folks.
Have a good weekend guys!
Oh, and Gong Xi Fa Cai (that's 'Happy New Year', coz it's the Chinese New Year. What? You didn't know? Shame on you. That's also all the Chinese I know.)

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06 February, 2007

Being black, having 1000 sons and the Impending Sense of Doom that V.Day brings.

I think I've finally lived upto the tagline of this blog ;)

It's been a slow-news-fortnight guys..

A couple of mentions though, pretty funny stuff

My friend is currently interning at this engineering place, and one of her co-workers comes upto her and asks, completely straight faced "Do Indians feel warmer in summer and winter??"
My friend just looked at this person and finally managed to squeeze out a "Why?"
And this person goes -
"Because black absorbs heat right? And Indians are blacker...."

Sigh. Just when you start to think that maybe people are getting a little less ignorant about things, they go and make statements that seriously test the limits of how ignorant a person can get.
In case you were wondering, my friend was too stunned to say anything...

While I was at the airport on my way to Chennai, we suddenly heard a ruckus. I turned to see a skinny frazzled woman with 3 young sons and husband who seemed to be busy doing nothing.
All 3 sons were dressed in identical brown suits and were bouncing off the walls, I'm serious. They were going nuts.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrreuban! Vada! RRRRREEEUBAN!"
(My tamil may be way off but I think she was calling Reuban to come to her?)

Now I'm not usually one to laugh at the misery of others (OH YEA, RIGHT.) and this is terribly mean but for some reason this tickled me silly and you know sometimes you get these giggling fits at the WORST time possible?
I couldn't stop. I just couldn't. I think I MAY have even snorted a few times. The more she yelled at her kids the harder I laughed and after looking at me I could see a few other people starting to chuckle
...I knew she was cursing me to hell. I could see it in her eyes.

And then I suddenly remembered this birthday card I got from my friend Manjit. It was my 14th birthday and in it she had written "Mahima, May you be the Mother of a 1000 sons."

Apart from making me inwardly cringe at the thought, it also worked as a laugh-stopper.
(But it was still really hilarious..don't ask me why.)

Note to self : Must emotionally guilt Mom into realising that my brother and I were absolute angels as children. No crazy screaming, no bouncing off walls at the airport, no pooping in weird places and at weird times.
Must remind her she had it easy.
Hopefully this will make her forget about my phone bill.

Valentine's day is coming up people.
Remember, if you stay at home, those couples-in-love won't get to you!
Solidarity, my people. Solidarity.

And for those of you who have huge plans for V. Day....well I hope you enjoy yourself.

I'm SO not bitter.

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