02 May, 2006

The one where Mahi attended a Wedding..

Remember the wedding I was telling you guys about??
Well I attended it and it was AWESOME.

Awesome for many reasons.

Awesome because (most importantly) there were so many many pretty people to look at.
Awesome because I met a lady who was completely off her rocker and took a shine to me.

The bride and groom are Indians from the UK and some of their friends had come down.
Their friends were very pretty to look at..the men and the women.
And oh.
British accents..are so...delicious.
A couple of times when one of the guys was chatting with me, I'd just hear the accent and zone out.
It was gorgeous.
It was yummy.
So were a couple of the men, too :P

SO anyway, let me tell you about the crazy lady.
My parents and I were at this table that had two couples - one pair in their early 40's and the other in their mid-fifties.
So the younger of the two ladies saw me and exclaimed "Oh I saw you this morning at the wedding ceremony, and I remember thinking 'Wow! She's CUTE! And so tall too!' "
(In case you didn't realise by now, I like this lady a lot.)
So I smiled modestly (?!?!) and said "Thank you.."
From there I can't remember how the topic turned to my future marriage.

Mom: Oh we want to look for a boy for her from Singapore..
Younger lady: Oh you should talk to her-points to older woman, who had spent the entire time just staring at me- her son is so handsome! And he's 6'2 in height! What's your height??
Me: Erm..5'9..
Older lady: -Happily- Yes! The two of you would look so nice together!
Me: -Silence....caught-in-the-headlights-look, followed by nervous laughter- UHhh hah..ha..ha...

All the three ladies look extremely Happy.

And then comes the freaky bit. I didn't realise this until mom told me much later, but the crazy old Lady very sneakily took out her camera AND STARTED TAKING PICTURES OF ME!


I did remember a couple of flashes but come ON! It was a wedding for pete's sake. Everyone was taking pictures.
And apparently once she stood behind me and my mom, and with extremely complicated hand signals, told her partner in crime to take a picture of us.

My goodness.
I thought this shit only happened in bad hindi movies!

I got a bit scared after that and was ever-s0-thankful when I was taken to the table full of young people.
I think that greatly put off the old lady.
Or maybe she just took more pictures of my back.
Never underestimate the cunning and smarts of a woman seeking a bride for her son.
They are relentless.

But I shouldn't talk.
Mom was having a field day...so many young, eligible bachelors...all in one room..with nowhere to run or hide.
She had this glint in her eye. It scared me. I actually felt a bit sorry for them.
Every now and then I'd catch her eyes trailing one poor guy (prey?) and she'd mumble "Hmm. What a smart looking boy. Not bad. I must find out more."
And then I'd whisper, mortified "Mom! More subtlety please. Be cool!"
And then she'd shrug nonchalantly and say "Just looking..no harm..it's for you, after all."

So anyway towards the end I had a lovely time chatting with an interesting gentlemen ( I reckon the brows worked after all!) and after a while Mom came by to tell me it was time to leave.."Mahi dear, are you ready to go? Oh hello!"
"X meet Mom. Mom meet X."
And Mom turned all GIGGLY.

So I said my goodbyes, went to the original table, said my goodbyes and the Old Lady stood up, pulled me (I thought she was gonna choke slam me or something) into a tight hug, smothered me with kisses and said "So nice meeting you..such a pretty girl, take care all the best, so lovely, so lovely."
By this time I wasn't hugging her back.
I was struggling to escape.
These women can be deceptively strong.

Which brings me to a couple of questions/points-
1) If her son was so goodlooking, why has she resorted to taking pictures of girls she's JUST met. I found it a tad creepy.
2) If my mom knew she was taking pictures of me, why didn't she say something. I find THAT a tad worrying.
3) Men from the UK are lovely. I turn into mush when I hear the accent. Fake-o Brit accents don't turn me into mush. It's not cute (unless I'm the one faking the accent.)
4) Everyone should attend an Indian Wedding. You will be shocked and awed.

Ahhh weddings.

I love it!

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Blogger DewdropDream did the happy dance and finally said..

First to comment!! yyaaaayyyyyy!!! :D :P

o.. to business... uhh.. Mahi... gave ME the creeps to hear about all the guy and girl hunting going on... suffice to say i've never been subjected to that stuff... but err... u never know which silly aunty is aksing my mom about me.. and i for one ain't in hurry to be married... gimme familiarity first... even if it breeds contempt :D Oh hey... i think i'm flying off to UK for my PG in a coupla months... now how good would a brit accent sound from me???

12:09 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey! Why you lookin' for men already?! Aren't we the same age.. you're making me nervous like my time is coming too!!! *biting my non-existent nails*
Thank heavens no one's looking for a bridegroom for me. At least, not my knowledge.
But one thing is for sure, Indian weddings are a lot of fun… only when the crowd is interesting. However, the one thing I can't stand is the feeling of having a thousand eyes on you. Of course, princess Mahi loves that... ein'it?!;)
hehe... glad you had fun babe!
psst: what were you wearing?!

2:23 AM  
Blogger panu did the happy dance and finally said..

Absolutely wonderful... and I MUST say that Marriage is on virtually everyone's plate nowadays, including mine. Anyway, much sympathy from a fellow sufferer.



3:25 AM  
Blogger DewdropDream did the happy dance and finally said..

oh yeah.. i missd asking that... what WERE you WEARING??!!

3:38 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dewdropdream - it DEFINITELY was creepy! and yea i mean i dont mind looking at pictures of prospective grooms and what not, but nothings gonna happen unless i know the guy for a good period of time! lol if the accent is truly acquired, its gonna sound totally completely charming!

surbhiii dont get scared! i dont take what my mom says too seriously..i know i still have a couple of more years of freedom...maybe its different for me, coz i know i want to have a kid by the time i turn 30 (im working backwards from there :P)
eh if this experience has taught me anything...its this- having strange people take pictures of me is a little traumatising and uncomfortable!
damn. now i have to rethink my whole plan of becoming a superstar. bah!!

panu - welcome, welcome! hehe i just take it all with a pinch of salt! at the end of the day, i know the final decision is mine =D everything else in between is just funny hehe
do visit again!

surbhi and dewdrop - i wore a pale pink and pale green salwar kameez combo (its really nice, i SWEAR!!) and in the night i wore black top with bronze stuff sown on it and a black knee length skirt (and black heels) god bless black and its slimming properties =D

10:07 AM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

Hello. I'm back. Marriage... hmm, i'm not into that, but I can try finding you a mate :) I know a few tall people... are you choosy about tall, though? Though very few of the people i know have brit accents, and usually aren't very successful :P

12:37 PM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

mahi i think the words "MARRY ME" are written all over your forehead!

when it rains, it pours! lets hope this vibe continues when ur down under !

i still cant believe u didnt go to the wedding with a portfolio of photographs where you can hand out signed profile shots... oh well, you can only learn.

so when are we gonna vote on your portfolio?!!

12:40 PM  
Anonymous MinKu did the happy dance and finally said..

Three POssibililtes after wacky mum shows excited son ya pic,

" But mum what about the RIGHT profile, all her pics only show one side of her face ??? "
* i bet you unconsciously managed to turn to ya left once the flash appeared, hehe *

" Naaaah,...she is too hot for me,"


" Man are we gona haf TOWERING KIDS OR WHAT?! "

whatever it is,.....
if you do get in touch with the mum eva again, do make sure you get a copy ya pics to add to ya massive pic profile..hehe

1:42 PM  
Blogger AYTIDA did the happy dance and finally said..

ok listen to this, when i was in india in december, my mom wanted to host a party and so i said i'll cook for all the people coming...

cooking was something that i only learnt after coming here and so i wanted to show off my skills to my mom and all the other people and i did too.....

a few days later, my mom tells me there were a couple of people so impressed by my cooking skills that they were actually talked to her about when i was gonna get married and if we might be interested in their daughter! wth!!! i am only 22 and if at all they would be inerested, why mention only the good cooking part!!!!

i never entered the kitchen to cook the next couple of weeks after that!

2:08 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

4wd - hell.. the more the merrier!
send some pix over =D im not really choosy about height to be honest..what matter most is 1)how rich he is and 2)how cute he is...and er...his heart..yea that.

dev - believe it or not, i was quite tame! i didn't really go around imagining myself as the bride (ok FINE I DID, OKAY?!) ok ok next wedding i go to, ill bring my portfolio (left profile ONLY) and discretely hand out the pix...but um...hopefully by the NEXT wedding i go for, i wont have to! :P ;)..portfolio pix up soon!

minku - THANK GOD the lady was sitting to my LEFT! so no matter how candid the shots were, they were ALL left profiles hahahaah you know after i realised she had taken my pix i was THIS close to giving her my email address and asking her to send them to me :P

aditya - oh my! are u serious?? 22 is sorta young for a guy innit? oye if i were you id be suspicious...i mean is 'can cook' the only criteria they're looking for?? and WHY?
-dum, dum, dummm-

2:28 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher did the happy dance and finally said..

That's crazy and I thought my aunts were the only ones who went to each wedding for matchmaking and look at everyone with a manic glint in their eyes.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

wish you were there at MINE!!!

lol youd have gone beserk with the accents!!!

ok.. okokoko. so DID you MEET the guy!?!?! DID you get to see a pic? TELL ME!

3:47 PM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

Well just tell your mom and all photo-taking stalker grannies that you've already agreed to have a turkey-baster baby with me.

BTW, I won't be having a hand in the raising of our artificially created child, you do know that, right? Kids -shudder-

5:45 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

Wowww! So: what plans for Jay's artificially-created baby?! :lol:

6:55 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dreamcatcher - i reckon as soon as an indian girl turns 21, EVERYONE around takes it upon themselves to be the seeker of the groom!

grafx - heres the best bit..turns out that old lady was from malaysia! so her 6'2 son was in malaysia too. so yay...my pix are being circulated around malaysia..yipee. BUT BUT BUT the guy i was talking to (the UK one) was pretty nice! ;)

jay - turkey baster my foot! i said i'd bear your child if and when you realised you were in fact straight! there aint gonna be no turkey bastering! *ghetto headshake and finger wag*
and good lord..the only contact you'd have with the kid would be through your lovely cards and drawings and what-nots ( and NO you are NOT allowed to bake him anything.) I wouldn't want him to suffer any trauma!

couchie - yes yes only when he realises hes straight. our baby would be tall, funny, intelligent and bitchy. =D (and he'd be 'chindian')

8:01 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

Treating women like merchandise... are you sure you're not Iranian? Ha, ha, ha, haaaaa!

Oh boy! Glad you escaped unscathed! We had a fair of towns here last weekend and India had a restaurant set up and we ate there and there was this really cute, toned and lean Indian guy, modern and all too, who had a store in there and I bought some beautiful sandals there... toe hold, yellow with beads, but I digress... we have a huge Indian population here! Come visit and I promise to not marry you off! Pinky bohemian swear!

11:35 PM  
Blogger Meghana did the happy dance and finally said..

Seems like wedding mania has attracted quite an audience! :)
But, yeah Indian weddings are always fun,especially for the girls,all the colorful sights, beautiful dressing, gorgeous jewellary, hairdos, make up and blah blah blah...the typical! And as you mentioned Mahi, the young boys ofcourse! It adds excitement when you lock eyes with a cutie with the mommies and dads around :)Fun huh!! aah miss weddings!My cousin is getting married this august and I wont be able to go :(. I love all the dancing and masti...Anyways, dear good luck with the groom hunt! :)

11:47 PM  
Blogger Leigh did the happy dance and finally said..

You should have told them that you would have needed to sign a modeling contract for those photos they took.

I love accents... sounds so sexy, especially from a cute English girl :) I love hearing them from cute Indian girls too!

12:39 AM  
Blogger AYTIDA did the happy dance and finally said..

hehe yeah i am only 22 and am definitely not gonna get married for atleast 5 more years!!

and yeah why only mention my "cooking skills".... why not say something like, he's working to be this and we are impressed with it.

maybe i shudve just told em all that i plan to remain in science and am not gonna take up cooking as a profession!!

5:02 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

miz b - you've forgotten the number of times i've asked YOU if you're sure that your loverboy's family isn't indian lol...apparently theres so much in common its freaky! and hey hey hey..was that an invite to spain?? =D you know yummy mummy i dont mind getting married at all..i'm just so suspicious of the women who resort to sneakily taking pictures when id have gladly posed for one! hehe

meghana - i SO knew my mom was spying on me while i chatted with that guy but i couldn't care less..and apparently she was quite happy about it too! hehe thanks for the best wishes babe!

leigh - *blush* naww not a modelling contract..its just silly..i love taking pictures i'd have just happily posed for one! it would've saved her a lot of trouble lol!
hahaha yeaa we indians sometimes have terribly strong accents dont we?? i've always wondered how other people saw it, if it was cute? or annoying? oh well. im sure its cute coming from me.
(i LOVE how im so modest on my own blog! =D)

aditya - yea exactly..indian parents can get fixated on the weirdest things.. maybe their daughter just really sucks at cooking and they're happy that at least SOMEONE in the marriage can be resposible for the feeding?

8:47 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar did the happy dance and finally said..

Well you keep going to these rehearsals so I am guessing ur mom thought she might as well put u thru the real deal.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

aiyaah!! now youre gonna have the huge problem of CHOOSING which one.. meahahhaa.. what fun!! im living vicariously through you now!! lol im so bad !!

11:15 AM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Got any to part with, I'd like me a piece of some British pie.. ;)

11:52 AM  
Blogger AYTIDA did the happy dance and finally said..

if feeding is all i have to do, then no way, there are some other important things (stress on important) that i wanna do too :)

1:31 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

There is always an invite to Spain for you my dear Ladee! Come on over and into my yoga classes you go!

I know you have no problems with getting married but it is one thing to do it out of your own volition and choice and another to be treated as merchandise that needs to be sold off while still ripe! Ayayayayay! No one should treat sweet Ladee Mahi like that!

Catty Yummy Mummy on the prowl and ready to whip some sense into sneaky photogs! BE GONE MA BITCHES! K-KISH!

No... I don't do drugs. I swear... just nuts...

4:36 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rohan - eh??:S rehearsals?? u know i realised that i talk a lot about how funny it would be and how i'm looking forward to it and all...i think my mom's 5 times more excited than i am!

grafx - *blush* oh come onnnnn..half of the guys wont want to marry me coz i'd probably be taller than them (that is if they have a problem with a taller woman) *shrugs*
lol 'live vicariously thru u' funnily enOugh thats what i say to all my attached friends (especially when i want all the dirty details =D i know! im filthy baby!)

jups - ill try ill try! lemme work on getting me some first :P

aditya this better not turn into smthg x rated! lol

miz b - yoga?? *gulp* madame mahima is about as flexible as a camel (i.e- not very) but hey! it will be an experience! oh yes yummy mummy..my mom is definitely over eager but she told me from day one that the choice is mine...im a firm believer in not being pushed into things that don't feel right!
i love the nuttiness! dont change!!

11:09 PM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster did the happy dance and finally said..

ooooo the punkster resurfaces....

And Mahi...when that crazy woman wasnt looking..you should have nicked her camera. I would have done just that...to teach her a lesson.


4:25 AM  
Blogger ee-lynn did the happy dance and finally said..

mahima!!!!!! i found ur blog through elise! gosh its been a long time! how r u? :)

9:33 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

megha where have u been! lol im too much of a narcissist to nick her camera...but like i said before had i know abt the pix id have asked her to mail em to me!

eelynnn my goodness its been ages =D ive been good! where are u now??
remember the camelots?? haha good times!

11:34 PM  

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