06 February, 2007

Being black, having 1000 sons and the Impending Sense of Doom that V.Day brings.

I think I've finally lived upto the tagline of this blog ;)

It's been a slow-news-fortnight guys..

A couple of mentions though, pretty funny stuff

My friend is currently interning at this engineering place, and one of her co-workers comes upto her and asks, completely straight faced "Do Indians feel warmer in summer and winter??"
My friend just looked at this person and finally managed to squeeze out a "Why?"
And this person goes -
"Because black absorbs heat right? And Indians are blacker...."

Sigh. Just when you start to think that maybe people are getting a little less ignorant about things, they go and make statements that seriously test the limits of how ignorant a person can get.
In case you were wondering, my friend was too stunned to say anything...
***

While I was at the airport on my way to Chennai, we suddenly heard a ruckus. I turned to see a skinny frazzled woman with 3 young sons and husband who seemed to be busy doing nothing.
All 3 sons were dressed in identical brown suits and were bouncing off the walls, I'm serious. They were going nuts.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrreuban! Vada! RRRRREEEUBAN!"
(My tamil may be way off but I think she was calling Reuban to come to her?)

Now I'm not usually one to laugh at the misery of others (OH YEA, RIGHT.) and this is terribly mean but for some reason this tickled me silly and you know sometimes you get these giggling fits at the WORST time possible?
Yup...
I couldn't stop. I just couldn't. I think I MAY have even snorted a few times. The more she yelled at her kids the harder I laughed and after looking at me I could see a few other people starting to chuckle
...I knew she was cursing me to hell. I could see it in her eyes.

And then I suddenly remembered this birthday card I got from my friend Manjit. It was my 14th birthday and in it she had written "Mahima, May you be the Mother of a 1000 sons."

Apart from making me inwardly cringe at the thought, it also worked as a laugh-stopper.
(But it was still really hilarious..don't ask me why.)

Note to self : Must emotionally guilt Mom into realising that my brother and I were absolute angels as children. No crazy screaming, no bouncing off walls at the airport, no pooping in weird places and at weird times.
Must remind her she had it easy.
Hopefully this will make her forget about my phone bill.
***

Valentine's day is coming up people.
Remember, if you stay at home, those couples-in-love won't get to you!
Solidarity, my people. Solidarity.

And for those of you who have huge plans for V. Day....well I hope you enjoy yourself.

I'm SO not bitter.
:P

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30 Comments:

Blogger Scritch did the happy dance and finally said..

hah! for a change i plan on being one of those nauseating couples!

6:02 AM  
Blogger tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

Long ago, I used to dread V day cozI felt lonely and hopelessly single!
Now I dread it coz I get to see all these lovey dovey couples in full glory all over town.

Talking of 1000 kids, imagine Gandhari of Mahabharat who bore 100 sons and a daughter. Think of the number of twins, triplets and quadruplets she wud have had. There is no concern whatsoever of conceivable age, menopause!

And happy valentin'e day in advance. i can bet you can't post again before that ;-)

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

Oh look who crawled out of the woodwork!

Your friend's stupid colleague unfortunately is not as rare as you think. You remember my post about a similar issue?

Maybe his mother has a smooth forehead.

And honey, I will NEVER make fun of any Star Trek thing. I love Star Trek and besides, it goes against the Prime Directive.

Nal

1:44 PM  
Blogger Nath did the happy dance and finally said..

Hmm. I'm a bit slow tonight; explain to me why this friend's friend is so ignorant. It seems like a perfectly legitimate question, albeit one that could have been answered by a few minutes of Google-jutsu.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous IdeaSmith did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL...I have the insane urge to laugh at such moments too which I cover up by cooing to the kids. It usually works, unless, like me, you have a face that frightens little children!

I'll wish you a happy V-Day so boo to Archies and Hallmark cards.

And update your blogroll puhlizzzzz, I'm on Wordpress now.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous minku! did the happy dance and finally said..

MAHI babeeessssssss,..forget vday,..lets talk abt ya B-DAY!!!!!!!

6:44 PM  
Blogger exclusively_me did the happy dance and finally said..

BLACK?? WHO was that nutcase ????

jus as they hav a v-day i think there shud also be a singles' day...why shud we singles get singled out every time
huh!
:P

7:08 PM  
Blogger Mint Chutney did the happy dance and finally said..

The line about 1000 sons made hurt my brain and ovaries simultaneously.

10:05 PM  
Blogger Raindrop did the happy dance and finally said..

Valentine's day couples in love are painful to watch when you're single, but even more painful and hurtful when you're not because your boyfriend doesn't 'do' Valentine's day or any other day either. Not even if it'll make you happy.:P

10:16 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

scritch - ET TU, SCRITCH?!!?!?!?

tetra - lol stop telling me when to post dammit *bangs table*
ugggh now i KNOW im gonna blog once before vday just to prove you wrong :)

nal - aye... i read your posts on racism..made me laugh and feel sad at the same time. i think the prime directive is utterly useless..honestly..the number of people captain kirk slept with? *pfft* what a man-whore.

nath - dude...he just asked if indians absorb more heat coz they are 'blacker'...how can you not want to punch him for that?

ideasmithy - i had no kids to coo at! well except for those 3 nutjobs running around in their brown suits (which were absolutely hilarious on their own) awww thank you smithy..we'll be each others dates ;) oh aye...yes the blogroll...will do ma'am

minku - *grunt*. stupid birthday. stupid growing older. stupid everything.

exclusively - i hate those v-day creators. bastards. i hope they all end up single this vday. omg im so bitter :S im scaring myself! :D

minty - i knew it would...i knew all the mummies in the house would hate that line haha

raindrop - camaan raindrop! if anyone can tame a man, its you! and if he still doesnt agree...well..then just withold the perks that come with the territory of being his 'special friend' :P

11:49 PM  
Anonymous renegadefade did the happy dance and finally said..

hey that ignorant dude/dudette didn't know that a black body has an emissivity of 1 -> better at emitting heat -> therefore indians are cooler
(except they - and by they i mean we - aren't really.. but that is a separate issue)

but what really gets me is .. u just dissed kirk..

12:35 AM  
Blogger Nath did the happy dance and finally said..

Madame Mahima: nath - dude...he just asked if indians absorb more heat coz they are 'blacker'...how can you not want to punch him for that?

Are you offended because he claims that Indians are dark, or are you offended that dark surfaces absorb more heat? If the former, what's wrong with being dark? If the latter, it's the laws of Physics you ought to be punching.

renegadefade:

True, dark bodies have higher emissivity, but they are hotter because they absorb more radiation. This is easy to test.

The (likely) reason people in hot areas tend to have dark skin in spite of this is that sunlight tends to cut down your folate levels; dark skin helps reduce this. This evolutionary benefit, and various others, outweigh the slight increase in temperature.

(Yes, I've done the Google-jutsu I had mentioned.)

Oh, and I agree about Kirk. He... is... a... rock...etman.

3:15 AM  
Blogger lemonade did the happy dance and finally said..

yay..!! ur back..!!
and ur tamil is pretty good mahi..judgement made by me!!Im a true blue tamilian who can speak her mother tongue without completely and totally killing it..NOT..!!!
anyway..happy v-day to u too mahi..and ur right..solidarity is the way to go..no point in gettin nauseous by all the shows of pda that are gonna be going on..!! ;)

4:12 AM  
Blogger Silvara did the happy dance and finally said..

Heheh...we're BLACK so we absorb heat?? Hahahah...wait till I pick myself up from the floor lol. I'll be chuckling all day now

OMG...can you believe I actually FORGOT about V'day?? Seriously...it's one of those things if ur in a couple it either puts on a HUGE pressure on you or you ignore it. If you're single - it puts a HUGE pressure on you and you CAN'T ignore it.

Being almost 8ookm apart doesn't exactly help as well :( Feeling sorry for myself here now lol.

6:42 AM  
Blogger Raindrop did the happy dance and finally said..

In response to Nath and renegade:
I don't know about you guys, but the laws of physics offend me. Especially the third one. Einstein, was it? Or was it the funny haired relative guy who also invented gravity?

But if I use one of those very laws, I believe I offend the laws of physics too. I just don't know which law that is. The one that basically says me and the laws of physics are even.

I disproved physics on my science blog anyway, you should've been paying attention.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Urban Bourbon Ninja did the happy dance and finally said..

I was sitting with some americans (white americans, except one who was half white/half black). We were talking about indian food being spicy, and this fat girl (yes, i'll call her that, its politically incorrect, i know, but she deserves it), looked at me and said, ``The natives don't mind it.''

me and the other natives, and the other invaders, looked at her and went, ``natives???'' She was like, ``you know, locals.''

Oh and thanks for reminding me V day is coming up. Now i can remember that i have no bloody v-date.

6:46 PM  
Anonymous drops of jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

FUCKING V-DAY!

(I'm not bitter either..)

9:33 PM  
Blogger tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

hey buddy,
i am moving to singapore sometime march-end or april

4:02 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

renegadefade - pffft! yea i mean come on, who DOESN'T know about the body's emissivity of heat being 1 :P hey i liked kirk too...but you cant deny the fact that he was just a big ol' windbag-man-whore sometimes

nath - nah man nothing wrong with being black i was harping about the stupidity/ignorance of the person who could make such a statement..sure you can call the guy naive but point is after you've had an education, and after you've met such a diversity of people, you have to ask things in a proper way or google it..thats just how it is..(the only person who can get away with asking rude questions is Dr House from 'House M.D'..hes so lovely)

lemonade - hehe okok i must admit...'vada' and a bunch of rude words is all the tamil i know ;) bah. PDA. no one should get to indulge in PDA but ME.
bah.

silvara - oh gosh its one of those 'damned if you do and damned if you dont' sorta things isnt it? aww dont feel bad..at least you'll have someone who'll be thinking of you (and if hes not..then kick his ass and keep reminding him to think of you :P)

raindrops - wasnt einstein the funny haired guy....or something *twirls hair and chews on gum*
ughh like, my brain hurts.

ninja - ill be you e-v.day date(say that fast 3 times), baby!
:D

jups - TOTALLY not bitter.
i need a drink.

tetra - awesome! i think you'll like it here :)

10:20 PM  
Anonymous the pooh did the happy dance and finally said..

gurl.. id be celebrating my bday and my vday yelling at high schoolers and staring at lady professors at night...so there : Im not so bitter either ...:P

8:09 AM  
Blogger Dan did the happy dance and finally said..

"Because black absorbs heat right? And Indians are blacker...."

Oh man! Whew!

When I spent three weeks in India I noticed that the opposite actually seemed to be true. Sweaters were worn by nearly everyone I saw, and it was hot out.

Welcome back! And Happy Valentine's Day ... almost.

6:03 AM  
Anonymous faith did the happy dance and finally said..

you know babes they should have a singles day like how they have v day and it should be strictly that on singles day only singles should celebrate and all couples should stay locked up indoors. and yes i'm totally not bitter too.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Raindrop did the happy dance and finally said..

But like, Mahima, if they were the same like, guy, then it's sooooooo funny. Heheh, I must like, be smarter than I like, think.

But seriously, didn't he like, have a like, stylist or something? I mean, wasn't he like, famous? That hair was like, sooooo not in, not even in the 80s, or whenever he like, lived. Heheheheh. My brain like, hurts too. Heheheheh.

3:14 AM  
Blogger tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

hey buddy,
now today is valentine's day and u havent posted!
the title of the blog goes true (if u inherit the earth that is)

12:05 PM  
Blogger Sarang did the happy dance and finally said..

Mad Dame Mahima?

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Faith did the happy dance and finally said..

how apt for singles... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Day

10:41 PM  
Anonymous minkara did the happy dance and finally said..

updateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee time!!!
tell us abt ya bday!!

12:15 AM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

Happy birthday princess!!

1:23 AM  
Blogger Urban Bourbon Ninja did the happy dance and finally said..

so it turns out i spent v-day in the ER.

3:10 AM  
Blogger KJ did the happy dance and finally said..

happy birthday

:)

KJ

11:23 PM  

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