17 March, 2007

The Male of The Species.

I don't get it.

Why don't you men call when you bloody say you'll call?
You guys aren't turning anyone on with the wait, you know? What gives?
I know there's this '3 day' rule, where you call only on the 3rd day - but hey, guess what?
ITS BULLSHIT.
Just call when you say you'll call.
You don't make Goddesses wait!!!!!!!!!!!


You like saying you want to see me mad and yet when I'm REALLY mad you behave like a being with the intellectual capacity of an aardvark. And then you fumble and say nonsense that gets us mad-der.
So this brings me to the solution -
1) Don't say stupid things like "I want to see you angry, hee hee" coz you'll get your wish and you won't like it. I'm nasty when I'm angry.
2) Just don't get me mad. Playful mad's okay but I'm essentially off my rocker- you can never tell when when the playfulness will get serious. (And neither do I.)


Don't say stuff like "Quit whining" when a woman's got her period.
Don't say it unless you bleed yourself or you want to start bleeding. I leave the rest to your imagination.


When you know a woman's spent a good 3 hours making a meal for you, don't screw up the moment by going "Ooh..too much salt, old girl!"


AND MOST IMPORTANTLY when a woman asks you the following-
1) Do I look fat?
2) Is she hotter than me?
3) Do I look bloated?
THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS A SWIFT "NO!"
We're quick on the uptake. Don't pause coz we'll know and we won't be happy.

Bah.


I can't believe we have to tell you guys this stuff.

HOW DENSE CAN YOU GET?!!?!?!


(As you can tell, I'm disgruntled. Boo.)

Labels:

27 Comments:

Anonymous IdeaSmith did the happy dance and finally said..

Awww...hugs, baby. I so know what you mean. But you may as well get used to it. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings but generations of women before us have tried and tried and tried..and given up. The sheer irony of two heads and half a brain is wasted on half the population.

1:23 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

- "You don't make Goddesses wait!!!!!!!"

Why do you ask questions and provide answers?

- Don't say stuff like "Quit whining" when a woman's got her period.

Ok, would a "you deserve it" make you feel better?


1) Do I look fat?
2) Is she hotter than me?
3) Do I look bloated?
THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS A SWIFT "NO!"

Why do y'all even ask?

Even i am disgruntled! India got out for 191!!

1:43 AM  
Blogger exclusively_me did the happy dance and finally said..

men are STUPID!!!
.
.
.
....most of the time anyway!

3:06 AM  
Anonymous medha did the happy dance and finally said..

Ok, who pissed you off?? Lol, i have some guesses! hehe :D

But yeah, men are fools.
Theres no other answer to it.
They are complete fools. As simple as that!


Oh and i am MAJORLY pissed at 11 men in particular. THE BLOODY INDIAN TEAM!!!!! WHERE ARE THEY.. I WANNA THROW MY THREE INCHERS AT THEM!!! Grr... We lost mahi.. We lost!!! What a FANTASTIC start to the world cup! Jeeeeez! Bunch of fools.

6:10 AM  
Anonymous medha did the happy dance and finally said..

And apoo,

Try saying "You deserve it" to a woman.. Just try it baby! And wait for the even better reply you get from her!! :p

6:15 AM  
Anonymous the pooh did the happy dance and finally said..

haha aww babe ..jeez someone really pushed those button i see....neva u mind.. men remain fools...not to waste so much energy on them species...

@ medha.. yeah gurl.. apoo needs a good lesson i say .. why dont we curse him so he could be a gurl in his next life and go thru all wot we go thru ..

@ apoo.. boy learn something .. u have the wrath of womenkind on u .. * HHAHAHHA* *Evil laughter*

12:53 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher did the happy dance and finally said..

Maybe men are conditioned to be stupid. To use their creativity to cook up lies. They lie instinctively methinks.
*Hugs*

1:38 PM  
Blogger Silvara did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL @ ideasmith - heheh two heads...ahem...sorry :P

Yes, men are simple creatures - it doesn't even work if you say things s-l-o-w-l-y to them or repeat yourself five zillion times. They are stubborn too and have that annoying habit of tuning out when you're talking to them and then saying a totally random, unrelated, time-WASTING, not-about-ME-and-more-about-the-SPORT comment that just makes you want to as medha said, throw your 3-inchers at them.

Pooey to the Indian team - good for the Bangladesh team - this is going to be an interesting series.

2:55 PM  
Blogger exclusively_me did the happy dance and finally said..

@ silvara -- exactly!!!!!
@ apoo -- u are the epitome of
ludicrousness of the male of the species..!

im so getting ready to throw those 3inchers at u men!!!!!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

to all my ladies up in arms with me - I HEAR YA
BOO. MEN SUCK.

apoo - you deserve it?!!? oh man for the first time in my life i wish u were here right next to me in person.
im dying to throw u a punch right about now *scowl*
ha loser. the india team sucks ass. they should just stick to making ads. thats the only thing theyre good at.

8:38 PM  
Blogger .............. did the happy dance and finally said..

that was very insightful.
i am amazed that you personally endured so many instances of men suck.
but since you are a goddess and dont go out with every tom dick or subramaniam and 'carefully' take on the selection process, im sure her holiness would shower some light on what part of that sucks?

all this nitpicking for one bloke who didnt call? quit generalizing.

Men dont publicly chronicle their interaction with the women in their life. unless its over or about the sex. the rest stays in hiding. the difference is called whining.

but because you are a sweetheart, hugs anyway :D
i'm sure the bastards got what they deserved ;)

11:08 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

harjee - shut UP.
shut UP.

11:11 PM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

Period week Mahi?

Just stop whining...it will be over in 3 days.

6:27 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dev - SHUT. UP.
and holy cow...bob wilmer is dead! R.I.P Bob

7:17 AM  
Anonymous medha did the happy dance and finally said..

Uhhh.. girl, before you get thrashed by your male readers....Its Bob WOOLMER, and not wilmer! LOL. :p

8:03 AM  
Anonymous medha did the happy dance and finally said..

But yeah.. its a damn shocking news!!! :S

8:08 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi, after all this, u better go the lesbian way, else you are gonna make one big sucker of ya self!

WILMER? LOL!
Stay off cricket mahi, stay off cricket. The extra fine leg on field is very different to what you interpret!

8:26 AM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

hahah Apoo....interesting pun about going lesbian otherwise mahi will be "one big sucker" *!*

if u ask me: how can u trust something that bleeds for 5 days but doesn't die??

:P

(okay i think i just shot down all credibility men have on this blog, but i couldnt resist)!

10:06 AM  
Blogger chitgo did the happy dance and finally said..

i am proud to say that i have never once made ANY of those mistakes.... :)

who says 'old girl?'

2:02 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

YES OKAY OKAY I REALISED ITS WOOLMER AND NOT WILMER. I POSTED IT AT 7.17 IN THE MORNING OKAY?? I AM THE WALKING DEAD IN THE MORNING SO LAY OFFF!!!!

*makes mental note to block dev and apoo from visiting*

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

i dont trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesnt die (courtesy-southpark!)

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Faith did the happy dance and finally said..

http://www.gatecrash.com.sg/?page=event_detail&actionForm=detail&eventID=222
you can go with your friends or family or something if you are interested...

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Faith did the happy dance and finally said..

http://www.gatecrash.com.sg/?page=eve
nt_detail&actionForm=detail&ev
entID=222

yeah thats the whole ad... think parts of it got but in my previous comment.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

I decided a long time ago (after years of tearfully sitting by the phone) that I wouldn't wait for calls anymore. So if I want to speak to somebody, I ring them. Of course, if I end up being the only one ringing all the time, I stop.

It's not desperate or pushy - just timesaving. And if they can't deal with it, then I'm better off ringing someone else.

4:01 AM  
Blogger tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

sit back, take a deep breath..
in fact, take 10 deep breaths, count till 10 slowly..

better!

11:01 AM  
Anonymous minkara did the happy dance and finally said..

Babee babee babee
ure soo cute

i understand ya frustration..dun worry i will call u..*smiles*

YouR Blog is as interestin as evERR

8:20 PM  
Blogger lemonade did the happy dance and finally said..

you are sooo rite bout the being mad bit..!!! they wanna see us get angry but when we actually do..they act like they're the most innocent things since new born babies and make us feel like raving maniacs when its their fault all along..!!!

ps:india did goood yesterday..!!! too bad that it was against bermuda and not australia...!!

9:12 PM  

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