The Great Pretender = Me

Yup that's what my Dad says alot of the time
"You are the Great Pretender."

Well, he's right.
Y'know I've always said - It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
(Or in my case, pretending to be really smart and fervently praying that no one asks me any more questions)

Case No.1

I was watching one of my favourite channels - Discovery Travel and Living, and they were showing everything you needed to know about Seattle.
Dad comes along and says "Seattle, eh? You know when I was your age I memorized all the 51 states in America AND their capitals. I knew everything about every state."
So I pulled my eyes away from the TV, smirked and said "Geek."
"Geek? You young people can't be bothered to learn anything at all. Compared with how much I knew at your age, you know zilch."
"Oh yea? Well Mr. America, then tell me what state Seattle is in?"
.....
Silence
...
"Pfft. I'm 55 years old...er..the brain gets rusty y'know..I memorized all this ages ago..."
"Uhh-huh. Come on Dad. Just admit you don't know. It's okay. You're still the Man of the House." (I think at this point I may have also grunted for effect..but I can't really remember. Anyhoo..)
"As if you know what state it's in."
"Washington."
"Oh."
"It's cool Dad. I'm sure you'd have known allll about some other state..it happens to the best of us."
He walked away, muttering "Wiseass."

Of course he didn't have to know that just before he showed up, they flashed the map of Washington with Seattle in it...somewhere in there.

*Smirk*


Case No.2

"Oyyyye. I need help with my personal statement!" whined my dear brother, RUDELY interrupting my 'Prison Break' viewing.

[Slight Digression : Ladies..and a few Gentlemen, please do yourselves a favour a watch Prison Break. Not only is it really quite a rivetting show that focuses on the quiet desperation of blahblahblah.. it's got this GUY- Wentworth Miller as the main protagonist. What an interesting face, does he not have? The symmetry..the odd proportions that make that face so very fascinating to look at...oh screw that-

Oh.My.God. Wentworth Miller, where have you been all my LIFE?
Be still my beating heart.. Be still.
Yes, I've read those horrible, untrue, bad, bad rumors about him being gay and all and it's NOT TRUE and SHUTUP.

End of Digression]

*Cough* Carrying On-

"Yes, yes I'll help you with the personal statement, but really, you need to get your points down. It needs to come from within. You're 18. I can't be sitting next to you dictating each and every sentence!" And I hurriedly put the earphones back on, eager to get back to my Wentworth Viewing see what happens next on Prison Break.
"But I need you to guide me through it!"
Sighing, I took the earphone off and said solmemnly "I can only help those, who help themselves."
Dad - "Shut UP."
Me- "Haw. Rude."
Dad- "Help your brother."
Brother - *Smirk*
Me- *Mumbles* Wait for meeee Wentworth..


Case No. 3

-Ring, ring-
Me: sdfefherhfgggbxjkfnv
Mom: Mahima? You'd better be awake. It's 11.30am already.
Me: Uhh..Pfft Mom! Of course I'm up. I woke up uh...almost 2 hours back! Really, Mom. You have to learn to start trusting me.
Mom: Okay. So if you've been up all this while I'm sure you cleaned your room as I told you to just before I left..anyway I'm on my way up already.
Me: Shit.
Mom: What?
Me: Nothing. Bye!

Don't think Supergirl exists? I AM her. Who else can get a room cleaned in one minute flat. Okay it wasn't THAT clean but the point is- I rock.

Remember - It's not what you say, it's how you say it. This works extremely well for another reason - There's a sucker born every minute. :D


PS- All you self-righteous asses going 'Liar liar pants on fire.' Let me tell you I am not a liar I just....embellish the truth. Ha!
PPS- This post took like 3 hours to type because I got so distracted by all the gorgeous Wentworth pictures out there that. Gimme a break. We're all allowed hardcore celeb crushes.
Oh go away.