01 August, 2006

Reason #458 As To Why Mahi Hates Kids.

They're a damn menace to society.

For a few days now my mom and I have been flummoxxed as to why the seemingly- healthy leaves of her potted plants keep dropping.

-Cue Gil Grissom- like dry quip "Let's make like a tree and leaf." -

Never.mind.

My very CSI-like investigations and autopsy concluded that the vics (that's 'victims' for the losers who don't watch CSI) were young and healthy and suffered from no bug or chemical attacks. Complex wind experiments- me flapping a book very hard to produce said wind, concluded that the winds were not strong enough to blow the leaves off their little branches.

(I'm on holidays. I've got nothing better to do. Shut up.)

So what gives?
I'll tell you what gives.
It was those damn KIDS.
My neighbour's 2 year old twin grandkids- one boy and one girl, to be precise.

Yesterday afternoon I took Kelso out of the house to play ball with the alleged perps (that's 'perpetrator' for you losers who don't watch CSI) who were outside screaming their little heads off for my dog to be their entertainment monkey.
Now while the girl was viciously slamming the ball down on my dog's head, the boy was casting sneaky looks at the plants. Noticing this, I took a few cautious steps towards the plants (my dog can handle himself...he's an expert at being chicken and running away).

The boy casually stumbled towards the plants.....and in front of me....started thumping them like they were damn bongo drums!

AHA! Damn perp!!!!!!

*Forced smile through clenched teeth*
"No darling, don't do that..you're hurting the plants"

The nanny apologetically pulled the little nutcase away, who then proceeded in joining his sister in manhandling my dog, who ran to me, looked at my door and with pleading eyes told me 'Can we GO ALREADY!?'

I went inside with Kelso, and before I shut the door I looked at the boy.

He looked at me.
Then looked at the plants.
And smiled.


Damn kids.

Labels:

32 Comments:

Blogger abhi did the happy dance and finally said..

i think the kid was making a pass at you

5:04 PM  
Blogger exclusively_me did the happy dance and finally said..

"he looked at me..then looked at the plants..then smiled.."
btw did he wink also...? ;)

7:13 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

evil is personified in kids....( OK I LOVE KIDS ALRIGHT!!! BUT its doesnt mean they cant be nasty!!*mumble*)


My aunt..the crazy aunt Toots ....she loves animals.. well no.. actually she's more of a fanatic about them....this time when i went to Calcutta to visit her.. she told me how she had rescued some street dogs from some idiotic kids who ...*get this*... TIED WIRE AROUND THE DOGS' LEGS SO TIGHTLY THAT THEIR LEGS WENT COLD AND THEY COULDNT MOVE!!!

she spent 2 hours cutting wire from the legs.

it was nasty.
if i ever saw those kids again...id ....id.... *grr*

ok but i like kids haan.. i swear.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous demi did the happy dance and finally said..

lol...mahi ..you might have to use a video and catch him redhanded nex time

11:13 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

Ha, ha, ha, haaaa! Wait until you have one of your own! You will be doomed, DOOMED I SAY!

Yeah, bad thing about being a mom is that people assume you like all kids. I like mine and mine are trained to minimum brattiness because spoiled kids I wanna bitch slap and mine cannot be one of those! So yeah, I may be a mom but that does not mean I love your spoiled, snot-nosed brat so it is best you keep him away from me! AWAY I SAY!

Can you tell I have had many an encounter with such perps? THE HORROR!

11:26 PM  
Anonymous minku did the happy dance and finally said..

its hilarious how u can turn any situation to be so comical,..cant wait to get bak and hear all ya stories,..miss yaaaaaaaaaa!!

10:06 AM  
Blogger Raindrop did the happy dance and finally said..

Kids vs. plants. The topic gets me all riled up.

I've blogged about the joys of plant parenthood before.

I strongly believe that people with plants should get tax breaks.

11:46 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

abhi - i think ure always making passes at me.

exclusively me - oh not you too!!!

grafx - babes what they say is true..kids can be very cruel sometimes..ive seen that sort of stuff happening here and in lagos too

demi - grrr id like to shake him thats what id like to do! (i know im such a grouch)

miz b - i can TELL! my goodness ure perps mustve been as my perps!
bloody perps!
u know i dont hate all kids...some are just too much man...this one kid kicked a soccer ball really hard and hit a lady who was carrying her 1 yr old kid...it hit the lady's back..what if the kid was facing the ball? and we didnt hear A PEEP of an apology from that brat or his mom!
ughhhhhhh

minkuuu i miss u come back fast!!!

11:46 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

oops forgot raindrop! u know i think i have quite the greenfinger but im too lazy to do didley..the plants are my mom's but yknow..still i felt protective over them...they're helpless man!

8:10 PM  
Blogger anumita did the happy dance and finally said..

Maybe if you replace the plant with a little cactus for a day, the tyke will no longer want to come near the pots anymore. Evil idea, I know, but it might work.

12:19 AM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

fuck man ..i love those earrings..where did you get them.. pray do tell!!

1:07 AM  
Blogger abhi did the happy dance and finally said..

i'm just a kid

3:51 AM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

Next time nobody's looking, you go right ahead and thump HIM like a bongo drum.

4:39 AM  
Blogger Leigh did the happy dance and finally said..

I never have encounters like that with children. For some reason, kids around here are pretty well behaved and I not sure why. I don't know if it's social pressure to teach your kids to be less agrro in public or people here are so anal about raising their children.

Your situation sounded nightmarish and I really can not stand whiny kids myself.

4:42 AM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster did the happy dance and finally said..

sigh...kids between the ages of 4 to 10 are just BRATS.

I needed to get that out of my system, phew.

5:03 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

I think it should be legal to bitchslap just one deserving child a month. ;)

8:50 AM  
Blogger Twisted DNA did the happy dance and finally said..

Ha ha. Thats funny. I went to a friend's place once and his kid kept throwing toys at me. My friend kept saying, "Dont notice him. Don't pay him attention. Just ignore him. Otherwise he keeps doing it." I would like to ignore him if he stops hitting me in the eye with those freaking toys!

By the way, you are a south Indian? You look so fair! (Guess where I came to your site from)

Oh, read my post on the definition of North Indians:
http://next-stop-insanity.blogspot.com/2006/06/where-is-north.html

10:44 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

anumita - apparently u and i think along the same lines coz thats exactly what i told my mom!

jups - they were my friend sheetal's! she's like the QUEEN OF BLING-BLING...im serious..some her rings can be used as weapons!

abhi - yes an overgrown one :P

jay - i was sooo tempted but his nanny had an eye on him (and me) at all times..thwarted! yet again :@

leigh - i think its a combination of parents being lax and the kids personality...in this case- bad combi.

megha - hehe i understand, chalu sistah..there there

dawn - "hmm let's see who's today's child of the month...YOU! with the glasses..come here."
LOL i can so imagine myself doing that!!!


lol welcome twisted DNA..
im gonna assume you're from megha's blog :P
ugh i hate kids like ure friends!
will visit your blog :)

11:16 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

So the kid prefers the plants to you? Time to hit the gym!

Also, I would like to point out that Abhi is a kid and is blind. Makes him a blind kid, which kinda does explain why he makes passes at ya!

1:30 PM  
Blogger Saggistica did the happy dance and finally said..

Where you anywhere close to these brats(so u call) when u were one?

4:46 PM  
Blogger Ekta did the happy dance and finally said..

aww well..i do agree some of these kids are so ill mannered and unmanageable that u feel like spanking them!
But well I still lvoe kid..what the heck!:-)

4:50 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apoo - ewww why on earth would i want kids to hit on me..dude you're so weird sometimes :S
ha-ha fun-ny!

saggistica - *sweet smile* i was an angel when i was a kid, dahlink.

ekta - okok FINE so some of them are really cute but the bratty ones just give other kids a bad name ya know.
forget spanking the kid i want to smack the parents sometimes. ive seen some parents allow their kids to get away with a lot of nonsense.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Saggistica did the happy dance and finally said..

I knew a lotta kids with those smiles.. girl they were one of a kind. ;)

5:03 PM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Damn I want them! I WANT THEM!

I cant look at your picture.. !!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

saggistica - you're preaching to the choir ;) heh heh

jups whaaat whaaat id give em to u if i could but i dont have them! dont hate me!!!

9:43 PM  
Blogger Saggistica did the happy dance and finally said..

choir?? :O

9:37 AM  
Anonymous saggistica did the happy dance and finally said..

Grow up..."Mahi hates kids"...sheesh.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

saggistica - its a figure of speech.
and you dont get to tell me to grow up om my own blog, okay?
:)

5:39 PM  
Anonymous saggistica did the happy dance and finally said..

For someone who knows diddly-squat about both children and motherhood, you sure are opinionated!

9:58 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

its my blog :) i get to be opinionated about whatever i want.
deal with it.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous saggistica did the happy dance and finally said..

And as long as there's a comments page, I get to say whatever I want. Geddit? But you probably won't. Ironically, your rants against kids only serve to expose your childishness. Grow up.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

my rants against kids, in case you haven't realised by now, are tongue-in-cheek.
anyone with half a brain can see that i don't hate kids.
dude..whoever you are, you need to realise that im going to just delete whatever you say from now, coz i get the feeling you're just bored with life.
get a job..read a book..take up a hobby. grow a brain.

1:46 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Blogroll Me!
Google