Reason #458 As To Why Mahi Hates Kids.

They're a damn menace to society.

For a few days now my mom and I have been flummoxxed as to why the seemingly- healthy leaves of her potted plants keep dropping.

-Cue Gil Grissom- like dry quip "Let's make like a tree and leaf." -

Never.mind.

My very CSI-like investigations and autopsy concluded that the vics (that's 'victims' for the losers who don't watch CSI) were young and healthy and suffered from no bug or chemical attacks. Complex wind experiments- me flapping a book very hard to produce said wind, concluded that the winds were not strong enough to blow the leaves off their little branches.

(I'm on holidays. I've got nothing better to do. Shut up.)

So what gives?
I'll tell you what gives.
It was those damn KIDS.
My neighbour's 2 year old twin grandkids- one boy and one girl, to be precise.

Yesterday afternoon I took Kelso out of the house to play ball with the alleged perps (that's 'perpetrator' for you losers who don't watch CSI) who were outside screaming their little heads off for my dog to be their entertainment monkey.
Now while the girl was viciously slamming the ball down on my dog's head, the boy was casting sneaky looks at the plants. Noticing this, I took a few cautious steps towards the plants (my dog can handle himself...he's an expert at being chicken and running away).

The boy casually stumbled towards the plants.....and in front of me....started thumping them like they were damn bongo drums!

AHA! Damn perp!!!!!!

*Forced smile through clenched teeth*
"No darling, don't do that..you're hurting the plants"

The nanny apologetically pulled the little nutcase away, who then proceeded in joining his sister in manhandling my dog, who ran to me, looked at my door and with pleading eyes told me 'Can we GO ALREADY!?'

I went inside with Kelso, and before I shut the door I looked at the boy.

He looked at me.
Then looked at the plants.
And smiled.


Damn kids.