27 February, 2006

Indecent Proposals (sorta)

I have the weirdest tutor.

We were discussing child development and discipline and suddenly he goes:


"If you need any help in making the child ah, feel free to call me heh heh heh."

Now if my tutor had been some hunk with a nice ass and delicious good looks and I've been the first one to say "Number please?"
But in reality, my tutor happens to be a 50 year old, pot-bellied, (sorta) toothless man. Complete with pants below stomach and all.
-Gag-

And I caught him staring at my chest MORE THAN TWICE.

Lech.


Speaking of pervs..
Don't ever go to Clarke Quay when the American Navy (no offence to any Americans, Navy guys or American Navy Guys reading this) is in town.

My friends and I were at a well known club, when a slightly drunk group of them came up to us and asked us to watch their drinks while they went off somewhere. So I said "Ok, sure."
They came back in about 10 minutes, said their thank yews and one of them held out his hand and looked at me smiling.
I was like "Huh. What?"
Then I thought "Ohhh he probably wants to shake my hand. I should do my part as a warm, friendly Singaporean and be nice."
So I stuck out my hand.
And he held it........
and held...
and held....
And I thought "O-kay..its getting weird now." and I tried to pull my hand away.

And then the freakshow KISSES it.
And gives me a drunken smile.

Okay. I'm not THAT friendly, buddy.
-gag, gag, GAG-
"Cheque please!"

We relocated to another club and had another couple of drunk Navy men try and make friends with us.
I swear..we really don't look that friendly. Honest!!!!




Now, why doesn't the same thing happen with me but with sober, good looking men (straight) who aren't looking for a lay?

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20 Comments:

Blogger Contented did the happy dance and finally said..

May be you are searching in wrong place...lol=)

But, I can assure you there are men out there who arent looking for a lay...=)

12:25 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

aww mahi... u sure ure prof. wasn't lookin' at ure long legs!?! (we all know abt ure legs!) it's prolly those legs that attract these men toward u!!
on a more serious note tho, I agree with contented... with respect to the club situations...a club isn't quite the greatest place to meet a seedha-sadha, good-boi character! now, i'm not sayin u need to be hovering around the local temple...but maybe a good lounge, instead of a bar or club, where most older men try their luck at getting laid. As for that pot-bellied tutor....now that's just plain NASTY! *shivers*
yuck! if u find him stare at ure chest again..well, give him the dirty look... to make him realise that u know what he's doing... and hopefully he'll look away in shame.. n if he continues to smile..then my guess is his screws aren't in the right place...go ahead n replace ure tutor if u can!!!

oh oh...n if a guy kisses ure hand...that's sweet..but if a drunk guy kisses ure hand... u know what to do... wash em!! gluck!

4:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

Clubs are definitely not a place to pick up guys. Head down to some public functions or ask parents to set you up with a rich dude. Isn't that all girls want anyway!

12:23 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Now, why doesn't the same thing happen with me but with sober, good looking men (straight)

1. Coz they are sober
2. Coz they are good looking
3. They are not drunk
4. They are sober
5. They are not drunk
6. They are sober
7. Sober men are sensible

U need more reasons?

1:40 PM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

mahi its all in the HAIR.

u just dont have the right CUT.

gotta go for the EVA MENDES style:
http://www.evamendes.com/images/modeling/magazine_tears/misc/eva_mendes_dot_com193.jpg

Oh yeh...and that dress too would help! imagine how comfortable and free you will feel!...

:p

3:04 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

**I DID NOT MENTION ANYWHERE IN THE POST THAT I WENT TO THE CLUB TO PICK UP MEN (I JUST WENT THERE FOR A DRINK)**

contended - ill have to take ure word for it i guess :)

surbhi - i did stare at the pervy guy but he just carried on glancing! what an ass! after he kissed my hand i kept trying to scrub it off haha

anon - yup working on my parents for that :P thanks for the tip..at least now u guys cant say 'i wasn't prepared!'

apoo - u repeat yourself alot. did you know that? can i suggest visiting a psychiatrist? :P
oh and u dont know what youre talking about half the time - another sign of bad things to come
tut tut tut

dev - THANKS FOR THE TIP :@!
and youre one to talk about HAIRCUTS!!!!!!

4:05 PM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

I am with you on this one! Why cant people go to a club, for a drink, or a drink and a nice chat? Why is it assumed that being at a club equals wanting to be picked up? And if someone tells me I'm being naive, I'd like to remind them that drinking at bars and making friends was something which wasnt so foreign a concepts some years back...

5:43 PM  
Blogger memphis did the happy dance and finally said..

Basic Hitch theory, guys react basis what you wearing and your drink. So were you drinking grey goose martini or margarita?

5:52 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

casa - THANK YOU CASA!!!

memphis - hahaha none of the above! i was wearing a simple top and jeans ..had a bubblegum shooter (lovely stuff..very girly tho) and a 'sex on the beach' (looks very innocent..i swear)
what about the grey goose martini and the margerita?? do tell!

6:00 PM  
Blogger FRZ did the happy dance and finally said..

"Now, why doesn't the same thing happen with me but with sober, good looking men (straight) who aren't looking for a lay?"

maybe cuz deep down inside every guy is looking for a lay

Sad but true

6:00 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

faz - sigh. *shakes head*

6:01 PM  
Blogger White Magpie did the happy dance and finally said..

Now what do u do when you get drunk? :>

p.s - I agree. You dont look "that" friendly he he

7:37 PM  
Blogger memphis did the happy dance and finally said..

No way!!! No man wud wana reveal the secret behind that. Moreover “'sex on the beach' (looks very innocent..i swear)” .. is a metaphor, right? ;p.

8:10 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

magpie - goodness i wasnt even drunk! i was just having a normal conversation with my friends!!
and hey..im friendly..but friendly-friendly, not 'ho-friendly!

memphis - oye tell!! *slaps forehead* of course 'sex on the beach' was innocent..its a drink (in this case:P) how dirty could it get??

9:19 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

psychiatrist? Nahhh....

But I know this student studying psychology.... hot legs n all. I wouldnt mind visiting her!

9:02 AM  
Blogger White Magpie did the happy dance and finally said..

Tch!! I asked what do you do when you are drunk? Didnt imply ye were drunk...Now why did you think so?:p

ho-friendly? Now if a black guy reads this term....:))

11:48 AM  
Blogger IdeaSmith did the happy dance and finally said..

Frankly disgusting. Visit this place...http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com. At least someone is talking about this.

3:31 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apoo - oh please do! but im afraid she might say 'sorry, i dont treat lost cases'
=)

magpie - haha who says only blacks use the term 'hos?
'ho as in 'whore', my friend :)

smithy - i visited it, its awesome! thank u for the link!

3:36 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher did the happy dance and finally said..

its Murphy's Law Mahi...all the sad, pathetic, un-hittable, yucky men will hit on you and letch at you. if you go out to a pub just to dance and not in a huge group and perhsps with only a friend or two, apparently you're asking for such advances..
i have no clue WHY.

8:48 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

ahem!

navy men are always horny.. no matter WHAT country they belong to..AND they probably havent bathed in a week AND they probably host a wonderfully colorful variety of rashes. lol.. so .... dont take it personally.. theyre even more repressed and freakish here in India.. good grief ( hurl)

1:31 AM  

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