16 January, 2006

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar.

I've had such an amazingly crampalicious day.
Ah the joys of being a woman.
I'm half tempted to say "Bring it ON!" but I think I'll save the enthusiasm for the next 30 years of fun.



I've decided to come up with a new disciplining tactic for Kelso.
Because I've realised that he's starting to bite.
Me.
And I ain't talkin' "Ha ha I'm playing! Let me play-bite Mahi!"
Nope. I'm talkin' about "Grrrrr. I wanna take a chunk outta Mahi."
Grr!


So I read up somewhere that I could use one of those water squirters to shock the dog momentarily while he's in the middle of getting aggressive. It's a tactic that distracts him and works by the way, but more on that later..

So I was talking to Dad and I told him of my new plan and he was like "How did you come up with this?"
So I said "I adaped to the situation, assimilated new information and I decided to implement the aforementioned measures to prevent [my] systems from being damaged." The minute that sentence left my mouth I thought to myself 'Woman. You are watching waaaay too much Voyager for your own good.'
(Have I mentioned before that I think 7 of 9 is so hot??)
Dad just looked at me like I was weird and said "Ahuh. O-kaaay."


Ok, ok so today Kelso once again started to bite my hand a bit too hard. I said "NO!" sharply and Mom said excitedly "I'll bring the water squirter!!"
She ran to get it, came towards Kelso - "Kelso I'm going to squirt you if you don't stop!!"
Of course he didn't stop...
So she says "Here goes!"
Presses the trigger......



And squirts herself in the face.

I'm not exaggerating when I say this - I can't remember the last time I laughed hard enough for actual tears to roll down my face!
Kelso stopped biting, looked at Mum and cocked his head to side as if to say "Ladies, I don't know how this is supposed to work but I am pretty sure that was meant for me, no?"


Those of you who think I'm a screw-up, after you read this you'll realise that the gene for screwing up runs in my family.



Yup..we are women alright.

Hear us Roar, baby!


Oh, and like, be scared...very scared.

Boo!

33 Comments:

Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

HAHAHA!!!

That was hillarious!!!

Still laughing....hahahaha....

*phew*...

=D

6:14 PM  
Blogger SonnyBoy did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL ur mom sured passed on the Funny genes to you!! now i know!!! :-pp

8:00 PM  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman did the happy dance and finally said..

hehehe...
Fun(ny) Phamily!

8:23 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

medha, sonny, conman - lol thank u thank u...believe me had u guys been there u'd have been on the FLOOR for a good 10 minutes..i was racked by silent laughter for so long i turned completey RED!

9:31 PM  
Blogger Mint Chutney did the happy dance and finally said..

I don't even know what your mom looks like but I totally pictured the scene in my head and laughed.

Hey! I think we were both celebrating our womanhood at the same time.

11:52 PM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

Kelso is what? a boy or a dog? A dog, non?

Forget the water squirter. if you use it also, and he minds water, then he'll only not be aggressive when the things around.

You need to bop him on the nose if he grrs.

Forget being woman, you have to be the alpha-male.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

*giggles at Mint and Mahi celebrating womanhood together..*

hahahha.. that was so funnny..

alright so did Kelso finally get a chunk out of you?

*runs away very fast*

pah i have to stop being a pesky child soon.

12:53 AM  
Blogger Jenna Howard did the happy dance and finally said..

Oh I howled. Howled!

I needed that on a Monday when I'm stuck at work.

1:14 AM  
Blogger Zofo The Hermit of Wandering Thoughts did the happy dance and finally said..

mwaahaaa...well a sharpish tap on the sensitive nose and a bellowed NO generally works for me whenever I have to teach my old lab new tricks....

cheers
z

3:01 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

minty - just imagine a shorter version of me with a rounder nose. thats mum! hey! high five soul sistah! *chuckle*

4wd - yup hes male but u know the problem with these small dogs, they think they need to drive home a point to make up for their size (MEN!!) i am the alpha 'male' with him but when he's SUPER pissed off my smacking him only makes it worse..so im gonna try the non-violent-water-squirting way! i've always tried to not bop him on the nose coz that place is very sensitive, no?

grafx - hahaha remember when i said the squirting distracts him?? yup my mom squirting HERSELF sure distracted him alright! yes woman stop being a child! you're getting married soon!! tsk tsk :P

jenna - haha chin up! be strong! glad i helped to ease them monday blues

hey zofo welcome! i shall try the bopping-the-nose method if my water squirting method doesnt work...thanks!

9:33 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

I squirt my cats and it is a good way to discipline them but yeah... I squirt the cats, not myself, you know? ;-P I am howling right along with Chief Naughty Sexpot! (hope Mahi Mummy is back to being Yummy!)

12:28 PM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

I'm sure the purpose was achieved... the poor dog must have been shocked alright :D

4:48 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

:lol: Hope Kelso doesn't pick up one of those communicable qualities too, though! ;)

You've a really fun(n/k)y family, Mahi!

7:06 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

mizb - she's a terribly embarassed yummy mummy right now...i told my bro and dad about what happened (actions and all) and they couldnt stop laughing!

casa - exactly! so the plan did work...sorta :P

couchie - you're talking about the dog who fell over the first time he raised his foot to piss (he was copying another dog)..so yep...id say them screw up qualities ARE communicable :P (but it was soooo cute!)

8:02 PM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

I find that the giving cold shoulder treatment and denying sex works really well too.

Wait, I'm thinking boyfriends.

2:54 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

lol, that'll teach her!! :)

4:22 AM  
Blogger Ashish Shakya did the happy dance and finally said..

Funny story that was.Reminded me of the b/w comic routines.
And you have been tagged.Visit my site for details.

4:41 AM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL!

10:04 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jay, jay, jay.
*shakes head*

dawn and demi - tottttally :P

phoenix - nooooooooooooooooo not a taaaaagggg!!!!!
haha yea i always thought this sorta thing only happened in sitcoms but man..its so much more funnier when it happens it real life!

11:30 AM  
Blogger Leigh did the happy dance and finally said..

A loud yelp from you should startle him and he should stop. I trained two awesome pitbull pups and it worked with them. They are two very loving gentlement to children and adults, cats and other dogs.

Thats to funny, now mum will never bite again!

12:56 PM  
Blogger Sponge Girl did the happy dance and finally said..

Now ladies, this is why we all need target practice.

Start now. See vacuous blonde walking across the road? Start with her.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

leigh - heey..there's an idea...ill just use a water squirter on mum =D
ooo pit bulls! theyre banned in singapore!

spongey - hyuk hyuk if only mum knew what she started...siiigh poor mum!

7:24 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

U cut off his balls, u make him sterile and you expect him to say, "Yo Mahi, well done!!" and lick ya face??

Of course he is gonna bite you!!! U deserve it. I had told ya long time back. Stop making fun of Kelso on ya blog.

Stop squirting the poor soul with water and get yourself checked up for mental disorders!!!

3:42 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apoo - oo someones HOSTILE today eh? FYI Kelso is so over the neutering thing.
and FYI YOU go get yourself checked for mental disorders :@

6:33 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Lol... aww... i wanna meet kelso.. he sounds like such a cutie... opps sorry..i'm supposed to be sympathising with u.
well mahi... i'd love to spend a week with u n ure family.. with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and soda in the other... coz y'all seem like u cud host a reality show!!! lol.. what a fun n exciting family...*knocks on wood* mom, dad, brother, sister & dog.. a perfect picture.. the T.V. industry will definitly air y'all!!!

11:32 AM  
Blogger AJ did the happy dance and finally said..

lol... had a similar experience with my father and frogs.... not that I could ever steal your thunder...

3:51 PM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Hilarious! and I'm at work!

kelso was probably thinking the same thing most dogs do, how is that humans keep us as pets?

3:58 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

surbhi - ahh babes we have our share of bust ups too! oh oh if u know any tv channels who're looking for an indian family to star in a reality show then please give em my number..i could do with the extra cash =D and yup..kelso is like the CUTEST dog ever u'd love him!!

AJ - frogs??? as in disciplining frogs?? tell!

jups - my dog is such a diva..hes got us all wrapped around his cute paw...sometimes im kinda proud that he's done such an awesome job in training us!

5:41 PM  
Blogger aditi did the happy dance and finally said..

heyy mahi! long time! post a pic of kelso naa? wanna see him!

10:00 PM  
Anonymous garfy did the happy dance and finally said..

Awww Mahi! I missed ya! :P

10:36 PM  
Blogger the One did the happy dance and finally said..

You could make Kelso listen to a conversation between Tuvok and Seven and not give him a dictionary. This should discipline him very fast.

P.S. Yes, yes, Kelso is a dog. But dogs can understand everything, you know.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

aditi - thanks for the idea :D i was wondering what my next post was gonna be about and i was fresh outta ideas!

garfy! where've u been mate??

one - :O ure a trekkie too?!
and u agree dogs are super smart!
methinks u and i are going to get along juust fine buddy =D

6:09 PM  
Blogger SinisterBaby did the happy dance and finally said..

Expect to be nuked by Kelso, one day when you least expect it.

Who needs limbs?

Rob ;-)

6:49 AM  

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