14 February, 2006

My Valentine's Day

Dear Reader,
I am Sad today.
If there are two days in the year that I truly, madly, deeply do not look forward to, its -
  1. Valentine's Day
  2. My Birthday (17th Feb. Remember it.) [I feel OLD.]

Today is, as you must have noticed, Valentine's Day . (The drawing above is a Mahi original. Serious Buyers are welcome.)


Today is the day single people like me either a) pretend to not give a rat's ass OR b) hide and try not to go out in public alone and forlorn.

Alas, I belong to the b) category. I mean WHY would I wanna be surrounded by couples-in-love, if I can't show off my man too (or lack thereof, in this case)!

It started off as shitty as they can get. My mom fell ill, thank goodness I skipped my lecture (I told her the day before that it was cancelled. It's like I'm a friggin' psychic).

So I took her to our family doctor, a jovial Sardar guy . On our way there, I noticed the Singapore Government tried to spread the Romantic spirit (what with falling birth rates and all) by putting up big, ugly, red plastic hearts, with a company's name in the middle, on every tree.
'Happy Valentine's Day- California Fitness' [ Jeezus. Why the Hell is a fitness centre wishing us Happy Valentine's Day? I don't get it. It's freaking me out.]
'Happy Valentine's Day- Pizza Hut' [ They even have pizza's in the shape of a HEART. What is the world coming to?]

You might think I'm a bit odd for saying this, but visiting my Doc cheers me up immensely. For one thing, he's always greeted me the same way since the past 8 years - "How's my Princess doing!"
Hey don't knock it. I don't get called 'Princess' very often. *small voice* It makes me feel special.

So anyway he started joking about how he got his Valentine's day gift from his wife (complete with actual winks and nudges), the night before.
Cue uncomfortable laughter from my mom aaand me covering my ears and going "lalalalalalala" in my head but with a serene slightly-traumatised smile on my face. I just nod.

"So, Princess" -wink- "Who are YOU going out with today?"
"No one." Dull-ly.
"Aww I can't believe that!" [I think at this point he notices that I really am a bit depressed]
"Oh don't worry! Your time is coming! Look at you, you're gorgeous darling! You're glowing! And anyway if you don't have a Valentine, I'd love for you to be my second Valentine!"
-Mahi is all cheered up now-

We get back home, mom is sick and I get her tea and stuff. I also tell her to take a panadol. Panadol is my answer to every illness. I'm like that guy in 'My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding' who uses window cleaner for everything, from a sore throat to a zit. But you can't use Panadol for zits. Not in a way that I know of (yet).

So later Dad gets home and asks me what I did for Valentine's Day. Which I found rather....silly?
I mean if I really was getting all mushy and romantic with some guy, it's not like I'd tell him! And Dad doesn't usually ask about my love life of all things.If he's anything like me, I thinks he'd just rather not know.
But I told him about my boring, lonely day and he starts sniggering. Sniggering.

"You really didn't meet or get anything from any guy?!"
"You're one to talk Casanova. I didn't see any V-day gift for Mum. And she's sick."
After that Dad was too busy wallowing in guilt to taunt me about my lacklustre love life.

So that was my Valentine's Day. Please tell me yours was as shitty.

I just got this message from Surya (Surya I'm pretty sure you don't mind me putting this up =D )-
"happy anti-valentines :) ...this day is only worth it when you happen to be foolishly in love ...in which case its just another excuse to spend time and money on your lovely"

Yea!
Down With Valentine's Day!!!



If you must know *cough* I take Gerberas, not Roses. *cough*

Labels:

35 Comments:

Blogger Once the Conman did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL!
Well, mine was as shitty. Proof of it on my blog.
Worse actually.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

conman - can we form a lonely hearts club or something??i reckon we'd get loads of hot people to join

11:06 PM  
Blogger Once the Conman did the happy dance and finally said..

Achha... form it...Can we like have an exclusive Qatar Chapter as well. Like - Lonely Hearts From Qatar. I really can do without a long distance u know.

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

My Valentine's Day involves the flu and the dumbass idea of going to work. What the hell? Fool...home to bed! I'm going to cut out early, especially since I can't operate my computer with massive f-bombs dropping every time I forget how to save, do a tab, find color swatches, blah, blah, blah.

And because y'know, being single and sick isn't enough I'm listen to Michael Bublé which is really the salt in the wound. Thanks Cupid. Thanks.

2:01 AM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

Hello Princess. I spent the whole afternoon watching TV and browsing blogs. Then I had a shower and came in to work. I'm now surrounded by fat Zimbabwean girls whom I hate. I'm now answering phone calls from rude, ungrateful, angry customers. In 20 minutes I'll be having dinner at my desk, which comprises a ready meal and a can of Coke.

And I HAVE a boyfriend.

There you go. At least you got to flirt with a doctor.

4:11 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

blah, valentine's day is overrated....

and we all LURVE you!!

ps. Your broken heart looks like one face trying to bite the nose off another face. ;)

7:17 AM  
Blogger ~Tim did the happy dance and finally said..

Cheer up, princess. It could be worse.

8:39 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

conman - lol ok ok tell u what, we'll set up lonely hearts club in every country! there shall be no more unloved and unlaid people!
amen.

jenna - oh goodness..the flu really is making the rounds isnt it?? u poor thing..get well soon, dont go to work and for pete's sake! no more buble! and that's an order!
maybe like some avril lavigne and alanis morissette and kelly osbourne might help (u know...angry female singers, they could so knock out buble)

hi jay! (thank u jay, for making me feel special =D)
why are there so many zimbabwean women at your work place?
oh man..your vday didnt go much better than mine did it..
the flirting with the doc was just pity flirting, but hey i'll take whatever i can get!

dawn - awwwwwwww thank u dawn -HUGGGG- u know..i looked at my broken heart pic again and i can see it too! do u think im unconsciously trying to vent??

tvs - i know! just read jay's and jenna's comments!

11:05 AM  
Blogger White Magpie did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahima..ye still single?
:o Gulp :o

Hard to believe..well well..lost for words

12:00 PM  
Blogger IdeaSmith did the happy dance and finally said..

Awww....poor babee...don't get carried away by Hallmark greetings. Valentine's day dates centuries before teddy bears and pink hearts. And if that doesn't matter, then really seriously this is just another day.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown did the happy dance and finally said..

Mine was shitty and I bitched abt the heart shaped ugly pizzas too.

I ate dinner ALONE!

Happy anti-fuckin-valentine's!

4:22 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Mine was awesome!

My boss was too busy with his wife, so I slept all day at work. And then I came home and fell asleep again!

Again, why do you all complain?

5:43 PM  
Blogger Mr. G did the happy dance and finally said..

Yeah mine was bad too, blogged about it as well.

Alright what the next next year what say you we spite V day by having a rough passionate making out session?

7:29 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

magpie - oye! i dont know if ure being sarcy or not!!!!

ideasmithy - i know i know...but i wanna be in love TOOOOOOO
waah.

jups- grr the next v-day we should just band together and attack pizza hut (but not before having a heart pizza first..with the cheesey crust)

apoo - ure such a pig so it doesnt surprise me at all!
oh so ure vday wasnt ANYTHING special?? ahem..i know a certain office lady who'd beg to differ =D

stallion- LOL ORRRR we could all just pig out on pizza!

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

Well, Im a day late...but who says there was a time limit to bitch abt V-day...

Spent my v-day in the office, was wrking the night shift so it sucked even more when i went out to get some fresh air, you see, my office is obcenely located in the same building as MoMo(now that is like such a gay sounding name!)...all those half/full drunk couples cuddling and what not...sigh...also brings back memories of last v-day, which i spent in the Hospital...


Anyways, for what its worth, you will always be my princess darling!

11:48 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

Well, I am here in solidarity with you. I am hitched but no mushy celebrations for me. We stayed home and I got a nice kiss and he said "Happy Valentine's day"... we aren't into it. He is lovey dovey everyday which I would rather have than a designated day of the year where everything becomes an obligation! Nope, not for the Ladeez I say!

12:22 AM  
Blogger Ashish Shakya did the happy dance and finally said..

I liked the 'lonely hearts club across the world' idea ...and you got a good motto in place too - no one shall remain unloved and unlaid.If you get this thing on track then well..*drumrolll* Mahi for World President it is!

Oh and you should've just gone back to your now-famous porn stash..

1:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

looks like most of your readers had a pretty crappy valentines.

mine was spent working, gyming, eating microwave dinner in front of tv and sleeping early. So a pretty much non-event for me.

just hold your breath a little longer mahi. this awful month will be over soon...

10:51 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar did the happy dance and finally said..

Cheer up, pig out and lemme know if the princess is willing to reconsider her decision of playing someone's second valentine ;) (and in that case dont pig out that much)

10:52 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rajesh - ohh ure work place is near MoMo's? I heard they have a male stripper there! hehethank u!

yummy mummy - awww thats sweet! did my horny-scopes spice things up?? =D

phoenix - :O PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD!? i can SO imagine that heeheehe
oh goodness...the porn stash is a MYTH. just like fairied, like unicorns, like goblins...a MYTH!!

dev - *deeeeeeep breath* tell me when i can start exhaling!!

rohan - yes the princess is willing to reconsider her decision ;) ahem. all interested parties should take note
ahem!

11:53 AM  
Blogger Nayan did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey.. get that broken red thing outta this blog. You will surely find someone.. Taste? According to yours! :P We are not going to fix it for you :PP

5:49 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

nayan - *sob* that broken red thing is my HEART!
blah why cant u guys fix it up for me. what else are friends for!?
HMPF!

denny - ok cool! so ill sign u up for the Anti-Valentines Day Movement and 'The Lonely Hearts Club'
that'll be $29.90 (er...membership fees :D)

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

The 1st 2wks when MoMo opened its doors, they had a gay night on thursdays, let me tell you, Night shifts were absolutly terrorfying!...dont get me wrong, I dont have anything against gays, one of my friend is a gay, so is a cousin of mine...its just when they start taking an interest in me for all the wrong reasons is when I start to run...

And for the Male stripper thing, it only happens on special functions I think...

For the Anti-Valentines Day Movement and 'The Lonely Hearts Club'...no discounts?

11:48 PM  
Blogger That Girl did the happy dance and finally said..

k i wont say a word about my valentines day 'cept that i shall be keeping a SHARP lookout for dude-guys who will make SURE you do NOT form that lonely hearts club!!!

1:53 AM  
Blogger Monolith... did the happy dance and finally said..

Happy Birthday!! Have a great day. Dont get too drunk.

4:34 AM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey...
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you


Now.... can we have some cake please?

And and... Rohan's offering you the place of his second valentine? Who was his first? I'm curious ;)

And Apoo was obviously sleeping on Vday, having knocked a lady pregnant, that too in office, you ought to *know* he's the kind who sleeps-in-office.

Ah... a job well done. I've taken jabs at everyone. I feel happy :D :D

11:03 AM  
Blogger White Magpie did the happy dance and finally said..

Sarcy and moi? Naw Naw..Was genuinely stunned..There is hope for this world yet :p

11:07 AM  
Blogger That Girl did the happy dance and finally said..

HAAAAAAAAPPPYYYYYYYYYYY BIRTHDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:57 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

AHHHHH THANK U EVERYONE =D im thanking each and every one of u in my head right now!
birthday blog coming up soon!!


im so in love with the world right now =D
muah!

6:26 PM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi rreee! I have a darling, but, don't start charging at me just yet. He is not physically near to me. He's pretty far actually..all the way in Canada. So, my day went by dissing the whole idea of having one day out of the entire 365 (n 366 on leap years) to say "I love you"... Nahah...I'd rather have you say it to me more often than just one day, and surprise me...choose random days....not the expected, less-random, Feb 14. Neways... last night...I took your advice and saw 'Rang de Basanti' in theater... you weren't kiddin'...I really enjoyed the movie.. took me by surprise tho..but I enjoyed it.
Apart from all that jazz.... or rather... something more jazzy....Happy Birthday!!!:D

9:16 PM  
Blogger Arjun did the happy dance and finally said..

Happy Birthday Mahi! Waiting for the Birthday post. :)

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey Mahi, many many wishes for a happy birthday from an avid and greedy reader of your blog! Hope your day was wonderful and so's the following year!

2:33 AM  
Blogger Nayan did the happy dance and finally said..

hey.. hippy birthday!! :D

6:03 AM  
Blogger Alternate Vision did the happy dance and finally said..

happy birthday...drinking one in your honor:)

11:55 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

couchie- coming! im thinking up the post now!

anonymous - thank u! were u the one who mailed me??

nayan - hey! hippy thanks :D

surya - ahhh thats mah boy! :D make it a good potent one!

2:25 PM  

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