Of Men and Idiots.

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Oooh.

So THAT'S what I am eh?

Now I'm not neccessarily saying that all of that's true. All I'm saying is that I'm hot.

Yes siree.

Ok seriously.

What irks me about the opposite sex, are three things :

1) Ingratiating men.

They annoy me. They don't charm me. Being ingratiating makes me want to stick my finger in my mouth and vomit. That, or murder you. Painfully. Slowly. And I'll enjoy it. In fact, I'll even laugh as I slowly murder you. I'll say "THAT'S for trying to be smarmy. THAT'S for flattering me till I want to end my very existence and THAT'S for using lines like : You're so sweet, I'll get diabetes!

I can smell an ingratiater a mile away.

Don't gaze at me adoringly and don't worship the ground I walk on.

Not unless you know me really well. And if you STILL adore me, DESPITE knowing what I'm like, then you're amazing and chances are, I'll love you to bits for having THAT much patience.

Look I'm full of myself. Flattery will get you everywhere with me.

But do it RIGHT.

Do it right, and I'll be like putty in your hands and I'll allow myself to get suckered in.

Do it wrong, and you force me to write blogs like this one.

2) Men assuming I have no flaws.

Look I SWEAR I'm not on an ego trip. I'm being dead honest.

Some men are either blind, in pure denial or seeng what they want to see.

All of which are equally and extremely sad.

I have faults. I like it when people are honest and tell me "Mahi, you're an idiot." (But er..don't say that too often) or "Mahi, you're a screw-up."

Why do I like it? Coz then I don't have to live up to any hype. There's no pressure and no responsibility to be bloody amazing all the time.

'Know what I mean?

I'm not trying to act cute when I whine about how I wanna have coffee near my place. I'm being selfish. I'm being Lazy. I don't want to travel. If I REALLY do like you, I'll go wherever you want me to go. Take it from there.

Don't smile indulgently! Don't cajole me like I'm a little kid. Don't try and buy me out by offering to pay. That won't help coz honey, you'll have to buy me a whole lot more than a simple coffee it'll make me want to say 'No' just to piss you off.

GETIT?!

Now, now all you nosey, lovely people- this isn't about anyone in particular ;) This is completely random.

Now for your viewing pleasure..ANOTHER stupid friendster message (Thanks Hanita!). You're all gonna love this.

Original message from Heartbeat:

> * Plucks Up Some Courage *

>* Tempt u with Chocolate *

> * Tempt u with Roses *

> My name is Shekh, 25 years of age. Finished my

> degree in Business Admin. I am now working in a

> shipping firm as a Marketing Executive.

> 8 am to 8 pm i am the hard working guy, wearing

> smart pants, shirts and ties. 8 pm to 8 am i am

> the guy, wearing jeans, tee shirts etc. (He has clothes. That's nice.) Have lots of

> friends. I respect all my friends. Friendship is love.

> Love is friendship. I am not really that nice a guy. (Oh? Sudden change of heart?) I

> have some bad characters in me. Well, of cos,

> time will change that. I drink, i smoke, i club. (This is where he turns into the 'bad boy'. Oo Turn On.) Well

> all this could be due to depression. I dont know.

> Must be. Guess i miss de girl i love. Though she is

> someone elses. Hmm....I love playing pool,

> soccer, blue roses, getting wet in the rain, walking

> along the beach, admiring the full moon, playing

> with babies, social service at times, (aaand this is where he turns into the sensitive new age guy) and i love my

> work alot. Well, spend most of my day in the

> office.

> Ok Girl, get up, u fell asleep? Get Up. Dont make

> me feel sad ok? That's me, Shekh.... (O-kay Sad Shekh.)

> ERm....

> Can i store ur number in my fone book?" (No, Shekh) "Can i

> sms you?"(No Shekh you can't) "Puleezee....Dont say no...Are you

> nodding ur head in acceptance? (No, Shekh, I'm not.)

> Ok Listen, i want to get to know you better. You

> might suggest, messaging here or even Msn, but u

> know, if you trust me, we can get to noe each

> other thru sms. Then again, shall not force you. If

> you feel comfortable, i'll sms you. Fill in the

> application form below.

> Handphone Number Given: Yes / No

> Handphone Number : _____________

> Reason Not Given : ________________________

> Advice For Re Application : ___________________

(Uhh...)

> By the way, You Look Nice :) Obviously, isn't that

> why i am trying to get to noe u? Hmm...Honesty is

> de best policy. (No honey. Not in your case. If it were upto me, I'd lock you up in the basement.)

> Please take note...if u reject...i might have to stalk

> u....And...Stalking...is worse then giving your

> number...hehe...So Please Help me from stalking

> you... :)

Sweet mother of Jesus.

He sent in an application form.

Okay, Clairebell. If you listen verrry carefully, you'll realise that's the sound of people laughing.

At you.

Because you're a bonafide IDIOT.

Here's number 3

3) DON'T BE A FREAKSHOW.