03 November, 2005

Of Men and Idiots.

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
Oooh.
So THAT'S what I am eh?
Now I'm not neccessarily saying that all of that's true. All I'm saying is that I'm hot.
Yes siree.



Ok seriously.
What irks me about the opposite sex, are three things :


1) Ingratiating men.
They annoy me. They don't charm me. Being ingratiating makes me want to stick my finger in my mouth and vomit. That, or murder you. Painfully. Slowly. And I'll enjoy it. In fact, I'll even laugh as I slowly murder you. I'll say "THAT'S for trying to be smarmy. THAT'S for flattering me till I want to end my very existence and THAT'S for using lines like : You're so sweet, I'll get diabetes!
I can smell an ingratiater a mile away.


Don't gaze at me adoringly and don't worship the ground I walk on.
Not unless you know me really well. And if you STILL adore me, DESPITE knowing what I'm like, then you're amazing and chances are, I'll love you to bits for having THAT much patience.


Look I'm full of myself. Flattery will get you everywhere with me.
But do it RIGHT.
Do it right, and I'll be like putty in your hands and I'll allow myself to get suckered in.
Do it wrong, and you force me to write blogs like this one.




2) Men assuming I have no flaws.
Look I SWEAR I'm not on an ego trip. I'm being dead honest.
Some men are either blind, in pure denial or seeng what they want to see.
All of which are equally and extremely sad.


I have faults. I like it when people are honest and tell me "Mahi, you're an idiot." (But er..don't say that too often) or "Mahi, you're a screw-up."
Why do I like it? Coz then I don't have to live up to any hype. There's no pressure and no responsibility to be bloody amazing all the time.
'Know what I mean?


I'm not trying to act cute when I whine about how I wanna have coffee near my place. I'm being selfish. I'm being Lazy. I don't want to travel. If I REALLY do like you, I'll go wherever you want me to go. Take it from there.
Don't smile indulgently! Don't cajole me like I'm a little kid. Don't try and buy me out by offering to pay. That won't help coz honey, you'll have to buy me a whole lot more than a simple coffee it'll make me want to say 'No' just to piss you off.
GETIT?!






Now, now all you nosey, lovely people- this isn't about anyone in particular ;) This is completely random.
Now for your viewing pleasure..ANOTHER stupid friendster message (Thanks Hanita!). You're all gonna love this.


Original message from Heartbeat:
> * Plucks Up Some Courage *
>* Tempt u with Chocolate *
> * Tempt u with Roses *
> My name is Shekh, 25 years of age. Finished my
> degree in Business Admin. I am now working in a
> shipping firm as a Marketing Executive.
> 8 am to 8 pm i am the hard working guy, wearing
> smart pants, shirts and ties. 8 pm to 8 am i am
> the guy, wearing jeans, tee shirts etc. (He has clothes. That's nice.) Have lots of
> friends. I respect all my friends. Friendship is love.
> Love is friendship. I am not really that nice a guy. (Oh? Sudden change of heart?) I
> have some bad characters in me. Well, of cos,
> time will change that. I drink, i smoke, i club. (This is where he turns into the 'bad boy'. Oo Turn On.) Well
> all this could be due to depression. I dont know.
> Must be. Guess i miss de girl i love. Though she is
> someone elses. Hmm....I love playing pool,
> soccer, blue roses, getting wet in the rain, walking
> along the beach, admiring the full moon, playing
> with babies, social service at times, (aaand this is where he turns into the sensitive new age guy) and i love my
> work alot. Well, spend most of my day in the
> office.
> Ok Girl, get up, u fell asleep? Get Up. Dont make
> me feel sad ok? That's me, Shekh.... (O-kay Sad Shekh.)
> ERm....
> Can i store ur number in my fone book?" (No, Shekh) "Can i
> sms you?"(No Shekh you can't) "Puleezee....Dont say no...Are you
> nodding ur head in acceptance? (No, Shekh, I'm not.)
> Ok Listen, i want to get to know you better. You
> might suggest, messaging here or even Msn, but u
> know, if you trust me, we can get to noe each
> other thru sms. Then again, shall not force you. If
> you feel comfortable, i'll sms you. Fill in the
> application form below.
> Handphone Number Given: Yes / No
> Handphone Number : _____________
> Reason Not Given : ________________________
> Advice For Re Application : ___________________
(Uhh...)
> By the way, You Look Nice :) Obviously, isn't that
> why i am trying to get to noe u? Hmm...Honesty is
> de best policy. (No honey. Not in your case. If it were upto me, I'd lock you up in the basement.)
> Please take note...if u reject...i might have to stalk
> u....And...Stalking...is worse then giving your
> number...hehe...So Please Help me from stalking
> you... :)


Sweet mother of Jesus.
He sent in an application form.
Okay, Clairebell. If you listen verrry carefully, you'll realise that's the sound of people laughing.
At you.
Because you're a bonafide IDIOT.








Here's number 3
3) DON'T BE A FREAKSHOW.

36 Comments:

Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Basically, you know what? When you say doing it right (flattery that is) ..what you're really saying is the right guy has to do it, right?

Like if a creeeeeep comes up to you and says (with a tooty grin) "Heee...you very pretty..heee...I like..." that is not right. Because he looks like eww and he is trying to take pictures of you on his camera phone. (yes i know, very very embarassing)

And Shekh's hot, come on Mahi, surely we can hook this dude up with our less hot girlfriends.(read-some girl who really "deserves" a guy like Shekh) I mean come on, he has pants and all. ;-)

2:38 AM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

And seduction style "au naturel" is hilarious because really, in french, that means "in the nude"

You bad bad bad gurl!

Muahahahhahaha

2:39 AM  
Blogger drsankalp did the happy dance and finally said..

Hi Mahima
Nice blog baby...
keep teaching..lol
c yaa
sankalp

2:54 AM  
Anonymous Arjun did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi,
You're an idiot :)

3:00 AM  
Blogger ~Sen~ did the happy dance and finally said..

kya ho gaya baba...... eeeeeetna much gussa , and that too when you're *one hell of a seducer* ? Aaaah... poor men.Like moths into the fire they'll dance into their death, charred by your seething anger.
*sob*
:[

4:09 AM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi:Too good.. Men ..What can I say ...

7:55 AM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

HAHA! Mahi, that was a truly weird msg on friendster!! An application form?!? What was that dude thinking?? LOL!

Another thing, i completely agree with is the first one on your list of things about men that irk you!

"Don't gaze at me adoringly and don't worship the ground I walk on."-->> Oh this i SO agree to!! I've had crazy experiences with such guys and its SO Uuggghhhhh!!
OK not sure about you, but i really don't get it when the bfs carry their gf's handbags around! I JUST don't get it!! It just isnt manly anymore when i see guys doing that.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

In the nude?????

Tsk tsk... what is the world coming to :p

10:49 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jups - NOW we know why i'm so popular with the men!!!! ITS COZ I ALWAYS HAVE NO CLOTHES ON! Au Naturel baby yea! ahahaahah
thats definitely what i meant..who wants a lech hitting on u, and IF they want to get into our pants, they need to do it with some CLASS, not like our buddy shekh here, sorry I meant- Application form-Toting SadShekh With Clothes.

drsankalp - thanks baby! welcome!

arjun - ok thats once..thank u and *PUNCH*

~sen~- yesss beware of my fiery, seductive, hot temper. *pssst* smmmokin! hahaahahah

demi - thank u haha yea..what to say...cant live with em, cant live without em.

medha - it makes u cringe right?? i'd make my bf carry my handbag..just to piss him off =D dontcha just LOVE me?? :D

casablanca - desperate times call for desperate measure babe. hahahaha

12:01 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Damn! Freakshows!

Rules me out....

Makes sense... cant have 2 freakshows in a relationship!

1:17 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apee - goddamn you. :@:@ i curse thee...may thee get hit on-eth by a gay shekh.. and find that thee enjoyeth it!

1:24 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

If I enjoy it, then the curse is of no use....

Mahi... look b4 u leap!

1:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apee- shut up.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar did the happy dance and finally said..

How long before we get to the final chapter of this masterclass on what kinda guys guys you like/dislike (dont go wat r u talking abt this is already the 3rd post I've read in the last 2 weeks) ;)

3:08 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rohan - there will be no final chapter...the search is never ending .
moahaha MOAHAAHA
i love guys. i love TALKING about guys..camaan u guys love reading about my talking about guys
CHEAP THRILL SEEKERS ALL OF YA!
:P

4:00 PM  
Blogger Ashish Shakya did the happy dance and finally said..

"Mahi, I have a complete set of clothes-pant,shirt,kurta pyjama(with a nada,mind you),torn blue jeans,one black trenchcoat,dark glasses,hat and 1 pair extra-silent rubber-soled shoes(all the better to stalk you with, my dear..).You all turned on now,no? See you're not the only natural seducer around..."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Weirdo!Application form...what next-an entrance exam?
"I have some bad characters in me".Funnneee!
Although I wish there were more guys like him around-they make us normal guys look GOOOD!

Nice blog btw.

8:20 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

phoenix - oh my! i love it when guys talk crazy, psycho dirty! meow!
this guy sounds like he escaped from a mental institution or something!
thank u sir and do visit again!

9:49 PM  
Anonymous HaNiTa did the happy dance and finally said..

HHAHAHAHHA....that was the FREAKIEST friendster msg I have ever received!!!! Needless to say...i never ever did fill out Shekhs application form....LOSER!
HHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
u guys shld check out shekhs pic on friendster....he has a face...that not even a mother could love,...(OK IM BEING MEAN...BUT HES FREAKY!!)
"heartbeat" is his name.
he doesnt look 25.....more like 18
CHECK OUT HIS PROFILE...:)

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=3477929

POST YR COMMENTS HERE...!! HAHAH!

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi - "au naturel" huh? :)...oooh boy, my imagination is wrking overtime!

Some guys only see what thy want to see, while there are those who see what others dont see... =)

"The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism."

optimism, Definitely!...innocence?!?!...I for one beliv that once someone's outgrown their diapers, their innocence follow the diapers...in the trash!...

In all honesty dear, I wouldnt think you were half as attractive if you were innocent...

on a side note, the test is flawed! i took it and got the same result, anybody who knws me will tell you that im anything BUT innocent!!...

Pheonix - Bro, you got it all wrong, shes the "au naturel" type remember? so its not the clothes that you have, its the clothes that you DONT have ;P

10:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

hans - i hate being this mean, but this guy is the definition of 'a mess'!!

rajesh - haha thank u (for the attractive thing, not the au naturel thing :@ u perv!)no no! the test aint flawed! apparently a LOT of us are cuddly and lovable..but i came across a couple of people who were labelled 'sex pots'
meow!

11:18 PM  
Blogger Ashish Shakya did the happy dance and finally said..

Sex pots huh?
Was wondering if u cud give me their email..no no it's not for me...it's for..umm.. a friend of mine...his name is..err..*looks around*..Hewlett Packard..yeah thats his name.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

hahaha..Hewlett Packard??? Ashish, You could've done better man!!! LOL.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

medha and ashish - HAHA so right medha...try harder phoenix!

11:52 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

oh jesus, what a dolt!!

I like this...

"Guess i miss de girl i love. Though she is someone elses."

great - so you can always look forward to being his 'second choice'.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Ashish Waghray did the happy dance and finally said..

hypocrisy is the basis of mankind and not typical of "shekh"... this blog can very well speak of the "hep" women when they come across a big-shot guy...

4:40 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dawn - hahaha he passed 'dolt' after the first sentence! 3 cheers for shekh!

ashish - see i hate getting comments like this because i have no idea what your point is! are you or are you not trying to flame me? is your comment attempting to be intellectually superior by bringing in topics of 'hypocrisy' (when my post is about people being 'idiots', plain and simple) and if so, then why?
are you trying to flummox me?
also what the hell is 'hep'? and which 'big-shot' guy are u talking about? are u sure u got the right post?
*dramatic sigh* so many many questions..i'm just DYING to be enlightened.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Sonya did the happy dance and finally said..

OMG... igot a msg from that shekh freakshow too!! loser alert

5:57 PM  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman did the happy dance and finally said..

#4
Please, for Christ's sake, make sure your hair's not growing out of your nipples and every other place on your body.
Its the age of Waxing...
Please for pete's sake... wax...
Do u have any idea how disgusting hair looks when it's growing out of your body...
Anyway... sorry Mahi... had to say this... and yeah... the application form, was a stunner!!!!

12:05 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

conman- DAMN YOU! stop dissing my hrithik. and hairy men aint all that bad (er except for the hair sticking out of the nipple bit..thats reeeally gross.)
haha i know..im kinda proud of him..takes guts to add in an application form!

12:11 AM  
Blogger Monolith... did the happy dance and finally said..

Shekh has "bad characters" in him??? Scary! Multiple personality disorder methinks. Nice blog. Will visit again...

12:45 AM  
Blogger ~Sen~ did the happy dance and finally said..

Shameless publicity :
ayeeee..... have something up on my blog for those who have ears for music :)
*blushes*

Bahut mehnat ki hai, taras kha ke sahi... check'em out plz ;)
* blushes more *

* runs away *

10:01 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

monolith - haha definitely Multiple personality disorder..the guy is one of those true blue weirdo's

~sen~- camaan sen..no garnering readers like this! its cheating yaar...
do it the legit way =)

10:55 AM  
Blogger FRZ did the happy dance and finally said..

at least Shekh keeps his pants on

btw what does ingratiating mean?

3:16 PM  
Blogger ~Sen~ did the happy dance and finally said..

* again comes *
* reads *
* says " BOOOOO !! " *
* scampers away *

:D

3:18 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

fazster- let dictionary.com become your best friend :P


*mahi runs after sen with a stick*

3:45 PM  
Blogger Ashish Waghray did the happy dance and finally said..

hey mahima... i had read ur post in a hurry and i definitely misinterpreted it... sorry for tht... the comment wasn't targeted at any one in particular, i was jus tryin to make a point in general... ignore the comment...

2:28 AM  

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