28 October, 2005

Fathers & Daughters

Mahi, 3 years old : My mom, dad and I take a European tour..Dad ends up carrying me all the way coz I'm too much of a brat to walk ( some things never change eh :P).. he never complained even once.

Mahi, 7 years old : I get a new bicycle..my first ever! A pretty pink one with ribbons..
"Ready, Steady, GO! Papa!! Don't let go!"
"I won't Mahi.."
"Promise?? Promise ok! I'm scared to fall! Ok push faster Papa!"
I turn around and he's already let go 2 minutes back. I'm so happy and scared that I lose balance, and fall.
"You said you wouldn't let go!!!!!!" And I start bawling my eyes out.
"But you can ride your cycle now without me."
Oh. That. Cool !!
I hop on and forget about my bleeding knee and Dad's standing there and smiling as his crazy kid goes skidding and falling all over the compound.

Mahi, 10 years old : I'm petrified as I approach him -"Dad..I got a C for my math"
Dad just smiles and says "It's Ok, there's always next time." Mom of course, has a fit. But Dad's cool. He always has been.

Dad throws batteries and I catch them. He gives me tips - "Keep your eye on the battery..Open out your hands like this.."
Mom comes and starts going on about how the batteries have hit a couple of vases. Dad apologizes ( not very convincingly), Mom walks off in a huff, we giggle and start throwing the batteries again.

Mahi, 15 years old : "Mahima. Always remember- No boyfriends until you turn 21." Says Mom.
"Oh come on. You can have one when you're 18." Says good ol' Dad.
"P!! What are you saying!?" Screeches Mom
"Ok...16 then"
Mom walks off in huff, Dad and I giggle.

I back-answer Mom a few days later, she complains to Dad. I complacently smile assuming he'll take my side.
He doesn't. He tells me how disappointed he is with me. Moms scoldings had no effect, but that made me cry.
Dad and I are a team..but he never hesitates when it comes to putting me in my place. And I'm a better person coz of that.

Mahi, 18 years old : Mom and I have the biggest fight ever, regarding which junior college I should attend. As with all mom-daughter fights, the issue goes off tangent, harsh words are exchanged and we're both reduced to tears. I shut myself in my room and cry the hardest I've ever cried.
Dad comes home from work to find himself in the midst ofWW III. He comes inside and patiently says "Mahi, your mom isn't like you and me. She doesn't have half the foresight that you have. She only sees the straight and narrow path ahead.. forgive her for what she said, we both know you're bigger than that.."
For the first time in my life, I realised my Dad knew me a whole lot better than I he let on. My respect for him shot up by a few million notches that day.

Mahi, 19 years old : "Dad! Check out this new painting I did!!!!"
"Hmm. The colours are a bit off. Also the proportion doesn't look too right. You need more practise" He frowns and continues with his work.
I get miffed. I thought he of all people would have loved it.
Ok. Cold shoulder treatment begins.
That night I come out of my room and I stop. I overhear my dad talking to the guests.
"You should see Mahi's paintings! I don't know how she managed to cultivate that talent. The figures and proportions are excellent!"
Theres a lump in my throat when I hear the pride in his voice.
Cold Shoulder treatment ends.

Mahi, 20 years old : The family discusses something and Dad says with a mixture of pride and disappointment "Mahima, you worry me. I look at you and I see you're the same person I used to be when I was your age. Proud, confident, believing too much in your own capabilities. And I get scared. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I made."
"Dad, if that's indeed true. I hope that I do make the same mistakes you did. You've become a pretty cool guy because of those mistakes."

Dad just smiles. That's his way of wishing he could disagree but he can't/won't. Coz his daughter is right. As always =P

Mahi, currently : Terribly pissed off at Dad. A few days after my 21st birthday he suddenly turns into the typical over-protective Indian dad from those Hindi Films. "I absolutely FORBID you from going out with a group of guys alone. There's no way in hell I'll allow it. No WAY in HELL."
What a nightmare!
I'm so shocked I just stand there looking like a goldfish, burping out words "But..you..me..cool dad...how..just a movie..why...huhh?!?!?!!?!"
Dad holds up his hand and says "NO."
We both stomp off. Let the Cold Shoulder treatment begin.

Next day I find my favourite chocolate in the fridge.
"What's this." I suspiciously ask Mom.
"You're Dad bought it for you today..he knows you love it..."
I look terribly unconvinced at this peace offering. Mom decides to come clean with me.
"Mahi, your dad's terrified. He knows you're no longer a kid.. Try and understand. He's terrified of the day that you'll leave for your own home. You turning 21 scared him out of his wits"
And then I remembered how I touched my dads feet on the morning of my birthday and how he quickly walked away.
And wiped a tear when he thought I wasn't looking.

Respect for Mom for being honest, shoots up by a million notches.

Let the Cold Shoulder treatment end.
That evening I silently offer Dad half my chocolate bar.. We both munch on it..I crack a joke, we both laugh. Mom complains about dropping chocolate bits on the floor. We apologize (very unconvincingly), mom walks off in a huff, we giggle and continue munching on the chocolate.



It's not my dad's birthday today..it's not father's day or anything..it's just a normal day.
My dad's a stellar person.
And I love him to bits.
If I'm lucky, I'll marry someone who's at least half the man that he is.
Someone who's humble, kind hearted, believes in what he does without a doubt, honest, not overly mushy, has a killer mind and has an excellent sense of humor.
Sure, Dad'll make loads of fun of the guy ( and I'll probably join in) but if he's happy with him, then I know I will be too.

Fathers, be good to your Daughters,
Daughters will love like you do..
- "Daughters" John Mayer


Cheers Dad!
-Mahi thoughtfully munches on her dark chocolate and walks away...-

39 Comments:

Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

Awww darling...that was an awesome post! You know, my dad & i are not THAT close. As in, we dont really talk that much about trivial things and stuff, and(for some reason) i always had an impression that i wasnt good enuff for my dad.

Recently i met this lady, who was my dad's colleague and happens to be my colleague right now. And she looked at me and said, "You know, your dad is extremely proud of you!He always says that to me!" Those few words just made my day! Altho dad & i might not talk that much or he mite not say things to me, he IS proud of me!!!

Dads are just amazing arent they. They are just.......special! :)

8:00 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

medha - they are indeed :) inside theyre such softies! my dads never told me i'm amazing and stuff like that..but i guess thats just the way he is! and i love him..tough-guy act and all!

8:07 PM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

Cheers to our dads then, for being the best dads ever!! :D

8:18 PM  
Blogger MaK-D did the happy dance and finally said..

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:24 PM  
Blogger MaK-D did the happy dance and finally said..

i think dads are nuts....and i am gonna have to become nuts someday....where is a gun when u need one.....
Anyway maybe you should play a few pranks a couple of times on him knowing his state ...something like
"Hey there grand pa"(hehehehe i killed me).....
anyway on a more serious note....nice post.
Besides from what u tell me about your dad i am guessing....he is not an engineer is he?

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

I write this with tears in my eyes...the 3rd time you have done that...for wat its worth, I am proud of you, proud of you for actually realizing and showing your dad that he is special.

I want so much to tell my dad I love him, I want so much to tell my dad he is amazing, I want so much to tell him thanks....

He passed away in June...

I cant tell him any of the things I wanted to tell him...I had the chance....25yrs...n i just wasted it all...Now that is sumting i hav to live with..

Medha, Dads are like that arnt thy? thy just cant tell you to your face that thy are proud of you!...my dad was the same :)

He did tell me once that he was very proud of me...jus a week before he passed away...

Im sorry for the somber post...I apologize if i upset anyone...I just dont wish for anyone to make the same mistake I did...

Send my regards to your respective dads, please tell them that thy hav done a wonderful job with their daughters. :)

11:33 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

makd - no sir not an egineer he is =)

rajesh thanks so much for sharing that with us =) and i'm glad he got to tell u how proud he was..
rajesh i think he knows how much u miss him =)
and i will tell me dad that ;)

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Titli did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi! That was soo sweet... you know what.. when your dad first came to sg, he stayed with us and all he talked about was Tejas and you..

I vaguely remember him complaining to my mom about how you used to doodle in your textbooks... but he always mentioned how talented you really are in art.. and he was definately proud of it! I could tell. ;)

I can totally identify with some of the stuff you've mentioned.. coz i share the same relationship with my dad too!

Good stuff!

12:13 AM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

Awwww... you make my heart melt with that post. Time to give a call to my old man :)

1:16 AM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz did the happy dance and finally said..

mahi :That was awesome... cant relate but girl u should know how blessed u are ...

Rajesh :Sorry about Ur dad.. But wherever he is .. Ur sure making him Proud ...

1:17 AM  
Anonymous Bathroom Reading did the happy dance and finally said..

I hope my two daughters, 4 & 3, can someday write a post like this.

1:59 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

aww, what a sweet post! sounds like you have a great relationship with your dad... :)

2:40 AM  
Blogger StagedSeven did the happy dance and finally said..

GO PRASHANTH..er I mean Prakash. Not forgetting Praz..

4:23 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Well babes... what can I say. Well put! very nice (yeah, ok, I said that. just this once)

And stop writing such posts... I cant make fun of 'em! :P

4:31 AM  
Blogger Menagerie did the happy dance and finally said..

I have been a silent reader of your posts for quite a while now, yet this one compels me to say - such a wonderful and beautiful post, it totally reminded me of how I had once written a poem on my dad, which he accidentally read and was so touched, he did not know what to say, except, 'Why dont you share with us what you write' :)

5:51 AM  
Anonymous Ben did the happy dance and finally said..

Curiosity: Do Hindus believe in "hell"? ;)

5:52 AM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

Thanks Rajesh! That was very sweet of you to say. I will definitely tell my dad that. ;)

And sorry about your dad, but i'm damn sure, he's extremely happy and proud because of the wonderful person that you've become today! :)

11:01 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Gosh!!! Mahimaaa...look what you did!!!..U made my eyes water!!!
I'm really happy for you Mahi..not everyone is blessed with the kind of beautiful father-daughter relationship you share with ure dad and I'm glad you know it!

i miss my dad now!=)

11:05 AM  
Blogger iyer education did the happy dance and finally said..

madame: hats off... great post lady... this one truly deserves to be one of the best posts i have read... guess there is something's goin on betw u n ideasmith (u both must be like blogpost twins or somethin like that)... just a coupla days back she writes abt mama's boys and now *lo* there is a post abt papa's lil girl :)

1:22 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

titli - thanks babe =D haha yup there was a direct relationship between the boring-ness of a subject and the number of doodles that were in its textbook :P

casa - yup u do that! make his day ;).. also make him wonder what you're upto hehe my dad always gets a bit worried everytime i give him a casual phonecall or if im extra sweet!

demi - thanks sweets =) i do..

bathroom - welcome sir! i don't know how life is like over there..but i'm pretty sure that your girls will try their darndest to make you proud..dont let the tantrums and fights and sulking fool u =)

dawn - thanks dear! and i'd like to think we do have a great relationship..its not without its downs, i can tell ya that! but i reckon it doesnt matter at the end of the day =)

prema - grr prakash!! haha good ol' camera toting prakash and his sidekick praz! ka-pow!

apoo - remind me to ALWAYS write posts like this one :P yaaay no mahi-bashing today =D

menagerie- thanks babe =) please feel free to comment! i'm kinda worried about showing the parents this..they'll go "why can't u use your free time to STUDY!?" heh heh

ben - i know this hindu does!

surbhi - awww *hug* give him a call! tell him u miss him man..it'll make his day, i can bet u a 100 bucks on that!

rumpy - damn! i didnt even know smithy had more than one blog =S haha yea i read her post on momma's boys...hehe blogspot twins but posts that are polar opposites ;) thank u rumpy =)

3:20 PM  
Blogger Mayank did the happy dance and finally said..

*taking a moment to absorb the content* ...
WOW....
For me to say that this is an excellent post, would NOT be right..
For me to say that I see where you are coming from .. would NOT be right..
but For me to say, what you wrote gave alot of people a reason to think of their folks and their relationships with them, would be precise.
Exceptional..and thought provoking..

Even though you hope to marry a man half the man ur dad is, I am pretty sure.. deep within everyone hopes to be half the parents their folks are..
Give it up fer them people we call our parents.. they might be getting old.. might be getting a lil cranky once in a while.. they might do embarassing things infront of ur m8's.. and some might not even be as expressive as we might want them to be... but lets face it .. they have done a darn good job raising all of us up.

btw... nice stuff girl..

4:13 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

mayank - welcome! and thank you =) my relationship with my parents isnt all hunky dory all the time...we have the hugest fights ever...but even all that aside, i know they're amazing people..good hearts!
i know a lot people have strained relationships with their parents..but all im saying is..think back on the times theyve been there for you..and suddenly the stupid fighs seem so trivial!

thanks buddy =) do visit again!

5:21 PM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

I knew you'd make a reference to that song, its a beautiful one!

My dad carried me around. I'm the elder daughter too. My mom's always been the strict one. My dad's only hit me twice in my whole life. Is it weird that I can relate to these experiences?

My dad told me I was a free bird after 18. But he revokes that rule as and when he pleases.

Funny people, these fathers.

5:21 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jups - ohhh boy..i can SO relate to the 'rule revoking' thing!!!
hehe i think they realise that when we DO start following what theyve said, theyve bitten off more than they can chew.

likewise..dad's only smacked me a couple of times but i can remember every time!
silly dads *shakes head*
thats part of the charm eh?

5:26 PM  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman did the happy dance and finally said..

:)

8:11 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

:turns bile green: I'm envious! Wish I had parents like that!

9:15 PM  
Blogger MaK-D did the happy dance and finally said..

umm.... parents are always gonna be there for you.....ther is a law for that!!!!!

9:49 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

conman - =D

couchie - u know what couchie..i think they're all the same underneath the gruffness and strictness and all. especially indian parents..not the sort to give u a hug and kiss every morning.. just realise that and u'll suddenly forgive them for everything..well almost everything at least!

mayank - eh?

10:02 PM  
Blogger Mint Chutney did the happy dance and finally said..

I can't think of the right adjective to descibe this post so I'll just let you know that I welled up with tears.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

minty - *hug* :)

12:47 AM  
Blogger Zii did the happy dance and finally said..

remember...
how much ever u love your father...

never..everrr
accept a PINK car which has ribbons on its rear view mirror!

2:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey nice blog .....It reminded me of my father...good to read tht u have such a nice,caring and understanding father ....try to always keep him happy
-Amit

4:49 AM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi - I know he does...I'd just much rather not miss him and hav him around :)...I didnt really get to say this the last time i commented(wasnt really myself, sorry!)...everytime I think you have writen your best post, you turn around and and do this....by far, the best post you have writen...the others were good but this is kinda special for me, something I will remb for a loooong time.... Merci beaucoup mon chéri :)

Demi Goddess - Thank you so very much dear :)...I really hope so...

Medha - Nuttin sweet abt it dear, just stating the obvious :)...Nah! im not wonderful, im just me...

Ben - I've already booked my spot...Happen to have some spare seats next to me, anybody care to join me?

9:54 AM  
Blogger FRZ did the happy dance and finally said..

mahi..u need to get a job with some magazine and write for them..ur writing skills are as good as your art skills

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Cher did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi, that was amazing..so touched..made me wanna cry..

2:49 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

wooo!! one more thing we have in common mahi!!

i feel the exact same way about my dad.. but i guess you knwo that by reading my rants..lol...

sigh.. i think i have found the man ive been wanting....and its coz he is exactly like my dad.... i hope with all my heart that you find your special person too... :)Hugs

3:49 PM  
Anonymous what's in the name did the happy dance and finally said..

Speechless!!

4:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

zii - how can u say that!? pink cars are AWESOME! i'd love a pink car =D

amit - hey! welcome =) at the risk of sounding like a bad bollywood actress - ill try my best to always make him proud of having a daughter like me =)

rajesh - no, thank YOU =)

faraz - the first time i read ure comment i thought 'ok..he's either being genuinely nice or theres sarcasm hidden somewhere in there' :P i'll take the former..thanks mate..lets hope some poor shmuck..er i mean 'nice editor', chances upon my blog and pays me for writing!!! =D

cheryl - thanks babe *hug* kelso sends u a kiss! =D

grafx - yup babes i know u adore ure dad..:O prof greenybluey is the ONE i knew it i knew it!!!!!!! =D i want to see his pic!!!! =D (when i find mine ill send his pic to u ..promise!!)

whatISyourname - thank u!! now whats your name!?

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Ben did the happy dance and finally said..

Solution:
Throw your arms around him, thank him profusely for protecting you, then inform him that you will be spending all that time *with him*.

(Regardless of his previous plans.)

Trust me, this will work...

5:55 AM  

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