13 May, 2007

No Meat, No Cry

I'm sorry everyone I know it's been ages since I posted..thank you everyone who's been pushing me to post :P
I've had guests coming over since April, it's quite literally been non stop.

Okay back to the gossip!

Vegetarians in Singapore, please do learn how to say 'No meat' or 'vegetarian' in Chinese.

Mink and I ate out at this place TP recently. TP is one of those places that we go to all the time and its always interesting because every time you order the same dish, it always comes to you tasting like something completely different! Not only does it taste different, it also looks different. We still go there, coz hey! It keeps things interesting.

But that's the least of the Vegetarian's worries.
We usually order 2 plates of noodles and 2 plates of tofu.

Genius Mink learns how to order food in Chinese but forgets the term for 'vegetarian' and 'no meat' (Keep in mind these waitresses are usually Thai or from mainland China.) So first we have to get past the hurdle of letting the waitress know that we want NO MEAT in it
This is usually accomplished by first repeating somewhere between 8 to 500 times that there should be no meat - i.e no fish, no chicken, no beef, no lamb, no nothing-that-has-a-circulatory system-and-eyes, in the dish.

In our numerous and unfortunate experiences, that usually doesn't work.

So we move on to hand gestures, which is actually a lot more funnier and embarrassing than it sounds.
All this has to be done when ordering the tofu AND the noodles. So altogether we go through this ordeal twice.

So after all that lovely foreplay, our noodles arrive, I take one bite and I think 'The tofu here is a lot more chewy than I remember..and so much more flavorful too! Aaaaaaarrrrrgh'

We send that back, and in the mean time our tofu dishes arrive.

It looks dodgy.
I try one misshapen piece of tofu and yep, once again the cooks have decided that they don't like vegetarians on this particular night and hence must try, very evil-ly, all possible means to get us to ingest meat.

We order a sauce and weirdly enough, even THAT has meat in it.

Are they out to get us or what? Why can't they just leave us be?
I know..the cooks were also probably wondering the same thing.

SO once again, we send the tofu back.

Our NEW plate of noodles arrives..this time its a sad pile. We must've obviously pissed off the cooks coz it looked and tasted like they had just boiled it and threw in a few sorry pieces of cabbage and egg. The tofu comes too and I can taste the hatred in it.

Well, whatever. We're too hungry to care now.
Hey at least it's vegetarian! We take what we can get here.

This has happened at TP so many times, I've lost count.

Singapore is so terribly unfriendly towards vegetarians. I've gotten used to ignoring the random piece of chicken in my dish every now and then. I've altogether stopped visiting fastfood places coz Fries are not my idea of food (comfort food, maybe).

Get with the Vegetarian program, Singapore.
Oh, and all you meat-eating barbarians are going to HELL, I tell ya, HELL!

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Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

That happens sometimes in Americas Taco Bell.

Order a bean Burrito and you'll end up getting Beef. And you wont know the difference much, till you have eaten it with a, "Its tasting so good today"

This is how we convert you veggies!

9:48 PM  
Blogger lemonade did the happy dance and finally said..

My veggies friends should learn how to defend their vegetarianism from u..!! Usually wen we go out..and they have a tough time trying to order..they usually don't say anything more than "shut up u carnivore" to us when we scream at them to order fast..!

2:27 AM  
Anonymous minkkkkk did the happy dance and finally said..

To all the vegeterians reading this blog KINDLY QUOTE
OR i dun wan meat to the chinese waitresses...
this shld haf so been the first line i shld have learnt in my chinese class...haha
now that will solve the problem..
lets hope at least..

10:03 AM  
Blogger rossoneri did the happy dance and finally said..

vegetarianism is against nature and should be banned. the great nation of china has done well in this regard.

3:34 PM  
Anonymous tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

that's why i really love small south indian joints out here where you are sure to get veg stuff!

btw, since ur leap of faith, your blogging frequency has gone below your usual lazy standards!

10:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apoo - u non veg people suck. i hope you're born as a chicken in ure next life!!!

lemonade- how come they take so long to order?? usually there are barely 2 or 3 choices for the vegetarians here..so much so that we pretty know what we want without even having to look at the menu!

mink - vo bu yao rou. thanks for remembering that NOW.

rossoneri - i shall rebut that with a very eloquent and powerful 'SHADDAP'

tetra - the problem with leaps of faith is that half the time u get too busy enjoying the flight and the other half ure too busy trying to stay afloat.
bah. mahi hates being so busy.
hey at least im not giving up blogging!

10:35 PM  
Anonymous tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

been in a flight of fancy for the last three years and without doubt, once you are up there it becomes very difficult to put your feet on the ground!

take care and have fun! and if no fun now, then when?

12:26 AM  
Blogger Urban Bourbon Ninja did the happy dance and finally said..

It keeps happening at TP, and youkeep going back???

Women, i tell ya.

7:09 PM  
Blogger The Dude did the happy dance and finally said..

hey mahi,
now thats a really sad, sad story.. has the makings of a shakesperean tragedy... it has drama, comedy, pathos, ethical underpinings... youre sitting on a goldmine!!
being that my dad (and only my dad!) is a shudh veggy type, Ive heard first hand accounts many times on how the outside world doesnt know anything about food and they keep trying to force meat on folk.. well, i just think that most of us happy meat eating types just dont realise it half the time. How can you not eat meat? any meat? really? its like being in the twilight zone!
as far as goin to hell goes.. well im not much of a religious one by nature, and happiness is such an evanescant concept that I prefer to take it where I get it.. and if that means carnivorously eating formerly living things, (which btw DOES include plants!!!) well then so be it... heck, dogs are meat eaters and we say they ALL go to heaven, so cant be all bad!

9:18 PM  
Blogger Silvara did the happy dance and finally said..

My dad is trying to convert me to vegetarianism...I don't eat much meat (just chicken...and tuna...and McDonald's burgers don't count do they?) but I like to at least have the choice lol coz that's all we eat at home (Mum is vegetarian too)

I feel for you Mahi....the world needs to be more open to you veggie-loving people :)

2:51 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

meahahaha!!!! MEAATTTTTT!!! YUMM!!!
made an AWESOME beefsteak last night!!
my husband chased me into bed i can tell you that!!!
alright. enough.

i love veggies.. sometimes i eat only veggies.my favorite is broccoli and mushroom stirfy!!

and im glad youre still posting!!!

9:22 PM  
Anonymous renegadefade did the happy dance and finally said..

it's good to see a post frm u after all this time!

1:41 AM  
Blogger Nadya did the happy dance and finally said..

veggies r good.. but can NVR replace meat :P

4:00 PM  
Blogger Renovatio did the happy dance and finally said..

"It's tasting so good, so flavorful"

Isn't that clue enough to stop being veggie?!?

I turned, and I don't regret it.

I used to be vegetarian when I was in Paki-land, the way I'd get meatless fare was through three simple No's

No fish
No fowl
No foal

It worked :D

Then again all we had left was Naan, raita, and salad.

4:46 PM  
Blogger DewdropDream did the happy dance and finally said..

Vote for update!! Vote for update!!!! Mahi am in the middle of exams and am counting on you to entertain me with some stuff on your blog.... please?? purty pwease?? with sugar?? :D

9:56 PM  

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