28 April, 2007

Pearls of Wisdom!

Sometimes the weight of the world just dumps itself on your shoulders and you get inundated with meaningless information, right?

Well, not to worry..
I, Mahima, have TRUE AND ABSOLUTE pearls of wisdom that will make this crazy world a lot more clearer.

Trust me.

So my brother had a bad cough, and someone asked "Do you know why he's ill?"
I know it's because of a virus, but out of a wicked desire to hear an alternative reason, I ask "Why?"

"Because he washes his face with the water from the shower..the water from the shower shouldn't hit your face!"


I was, as you can very well imagine, wide eyed and speecheless for a good 15 seconds before exclaiming completely straight-faced "Are you serious??"
"Yes!" says the Authority-On-All-Things-Shower-Related.
"I did not know that!"
At this moment I'm killing myself trying not to laugh. My nostrils flare when I try to stifle laughter and right about then you could have driven a double decker bus through them.

So my Dad comes in and he gets asked the same question and gets the same reply.

Only this time my Dad lacks my delicate subtlety and laughs his ass off.
And walks off saying "You're nuts!"


Other Pearls :
"Lights should be switched on ONLY after 6.30 pm!"
This was told to me as I went to switch on a light at 6.15 pm. After pausing mid-step to digest this, I pretended like I hadn't heard it, and proceeded to defiantly switch on the light.
Yeeeeah I'm the proverbial rebel without a cause :P

"Signals of Good Luck will make business better!"
This was repeated 5 times because everyone listening had a blank 'Say wut now?' look on their face. 5 repetitions later we nodded and said "Oh ok..yea..that.."
We still don't know what the hell that means.

"You're fair because you eat oats for breakfast"
Once again, this is exclaimed like it is a fact of life. Once again I exclaim innocently "Are you serious??". Once again I'm looked at like I'm a dumbass with a vacuum occupying the space between my ears. Once again I chuckle inwardly but say humbly "You know..I think you're right."
What?
Refute that claim?
And lose the chance of chancing upon more pearls of wisdom?

HELL NO!


Aaaaaah I LIVE for these moments.
:D

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18 Comments:

Anonymous MINKU did the happy dance and finally said..

OH MY GODDD
IM FIRSTTTTTt
HOW COOOL IS THISSS

i dun care if u jus told me all this an hour ago
IM FIRSTTTTTTTTTTT
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

12:18 AM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster did the happy dance and finally said..

Yeah and if you pass table salt, apocalypse will surely descend upon us.

And asking someone about where they're heading out right before they're heading out is unacceptable. But that can be assuaged if the said person sits down and drinks a glass of water.

And and eating pickle when you're on your period will somehow make your insides implode.

Hey, this is fun!

:)

4:03 AM  
Blogger lemonade did the happy dance and finally said..

no but seriously...?? is it true bout the shower water...???
god..! is shouldn't be reading this..I'm the world's most gullible person..!!

And mahi..u've become regular..!! the world has finally been set right again..! ;)

4:07 AM  
Blogger Silvara did the happy dance and finally said..

Ohhhh....that's a great read first thing on a Sunday morning. I'm set for the day now. Too bad I missed on my daily dose of fairness as I had TOAST for breakfast. Ha!

Indians especially have the weirdest things as well - I have stopped believing my mum and am convinced she just makes them up now for the sole purpose of annoying me.

Like - you're not allowed to wash your hair on a Thursday. Wtf?? I have done that many times so take that!

Oh - and another pearl of wisdom overheard at a recent dinner party by a random auntie - "Don't allow the random pregnant bahu to go out when there is a solar eclipse otherwise it'll harm her baby".

Wtf x 1000???

8:57 AM  
Blogger Bullshee did the happy dance and finally said..

Here's my pearl for today:As Austin Powers would so righteously say:"Grooooooovy Baybee!!!!!"

First time on this blog....me passes out a standing ovation,whistles and gestures obsencely at critics with disregard for moral boundaries!!!

Awesome.....I'll be bach!!!

8:38 PM  
Blogger rossoneri did the happy dance and finally said..

confucius say: "these sound like chinese proverbs"
(refer to russell peters)

9:27 PM  
Blogger Nadya did the happy dance and finally said..

haha hilarious :p

im medhas fren btw.. been reading ur blog if i get d chance for d past few months :) its really nice. n u just made my uber-boring day :p

cheers

11:26 PM  
Blogger Renovatio did the happy dance and finally said..

Heh...

Tell them that you'd rather have oats in your skin than oatmeal for a brain :D

10:27 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

mink - *shakes head* i love you la minku

megha - i know! see why i dont bother correcting her?? its just too entertaining!

lemonade - if its true, i shouldve died a long long time ago with the amount of flu's i could've potentially come down with haha
and that totally sounded like you were talking about my period hahahaaha "she's regular!!!"
LOL

silvara - omg i heard that 'cant wash hair on thursdays' thing and the solar eclipse thing too! what is with that anyway??

bull - welcome! do visit again aye

rossoneri - that russel! i love that guy

nadya - hey hey! ive heard about u! :D welcome

renovatio - LOL she wouldnt get that. shed prob come up some lame line for that too

11:38 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

ooo.. i have to think of some to pass down to my kids!! boy its been a looooooooong time since ive been here!! i have GOT to get it together!!

1:19 AM  
Blogger Lulu (Dan's cat) did the happy dance and finally said..

It's not so much pearls of wisdom I came seeking. I'm really just looking for a good belly rub?

Are you up to it? I'll purr for you.

MEOW!!!

4:19 AM  
Blogger StandbyMind did the happy dance and finally said..

ohhhhhhhhhhh God...I let shower water hit ma face everyday...
I am gonna not let ithappen againnnnnn..
Man..U write freakin Welll...

and about the title of yer Blog..feel like givin a Hi 5...
The LAzy Shall....Yes..>We will..and We sha;; Inherit the whole damn earth..

2:21 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

grafx - haha babe u have MAKE THIS STUFF up for it qualify to be weird material! i havent visited blogs in ages :( i feel guilty as hell

dan - DAAAAN or um..lulluuuu *belly rub*
im so sorry i havent visited in ages :(
*belly rub again*

standby - haha thank u! do visit again!

4:55 PM  
Blogger The Dude did the happy dance and finally said..

hahahahhahhahaha!!!

brilliant, its so heartening to see what truly intelligent specimens all those millenia of evolution both biologically, educationally and socially have birthed...
made my day! thanks!
look forward to more..
Cheers...

8:27 PM  
Blogger Strider did the happy dance and finally said..

ha ha! LOL!

2:03 PM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

Now your dad is one cool dude FO SHO!!!!

I am still laughing, especially at the shower thing... wait until you are pregnant (if ever you choose to be) because then you hear the dumbest things EVER! Old wives tales galore and never mind being educated and knowing better and having done your reasearch and blah, blah, blah because those who believe such out there things, well, let us just say that "cuckoo" just does not even come close!

I missed you my friend! I can finally say I am back! But hey, where'd you go???

:-)

7:42 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

28th April.
13th May.

16 days... and counting.

I know you are maintaining a count as well, perhaps of different things, but that shudnt stop u from posting?

And I cant count beyond 17. Break the rhythm.

6:12 AM  
Blogger GettingThereNow did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL!!

Here's another pearl for your collection - when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was "discouraged" from drinking anything black or brown (like, ummmm... TEA??) first thing in the morning. Why? Because that woul dmake the baby dark skinned. No- actually I was discouraged from drinking/eating anything brown or black at ANY time but my MIL finally tried to get me to agree to not having my first cup of tea in the morning (and failed miserably!)

Yes, my poor baby is "dark" :( (Ummmm, maybe because her MOTHER is dark-skinned????)

11:25 PM  

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