23 January, 2007

The One where Mahi goes to Chennai!

Wow it's been ages since I've updated this baby, hasn't it?
I've been a shitty-arsed blog visitor too, please forgive me..you still love me right?

(I know you do.)

I'm back from my short trip to Chennai (thats in South India for those of who couldn't give a rat's ass about geography).
My mom and I went for my second cousins thread ceremony. Along with meeting up with long lost relatives Mom also thought it would be an opportune time to unleash Mahi onto the unsuspecting public. Heh heh. Good ol' Mom.

I don't quite know where to begin...
Most of you know that I've always had this slight fear of India..you know too much noise, too many people, too much everything (but then again, compared to Singapore, any place would seem like too much). But this time around I found myself enjoying the hustle and bustle of the life there.

The place had character. The traffic sucked big time though. There was no concept of staying in one line or actually glancing at the traffic signal. There was liberal use of full-on flood lights, followed by liberal temporary blindness which was followed by liberal near-death experiences.

Speaking of 'cool!', I met Mom's side of the family after nearly 8 years.
I've always been very fond of all of Mom's cousins and their kids and her aunts and uncles. They're an affectionate lot. It's a huge family and all of them make it a point to have a sort of reunion every now and then. It's amazing how much the family has expanded. One of my grand-aunts now has 10 grandchildren! Thats 10 second cousins in a flash! I've got to work overtime on my family tree now.
It's our custom to touch the feet of the elders and every time I did that, they would bless me with the utterance "May you get a good husband." I guess in this day and age, it's not such a bad blessing to receive, eh?

All of them speak Tulu and I found myself drifting to a pleasant place while all of them spoke rapid-fire Tulu. Sort of like a babbling brook. It was so nice to hear, even though I didn't understand 90% of what they said. 4 days ago I could speak only a smattering- just enough to tell the people at these functions to stop loading my banana leaf with food. I would just smile and nod and mutter the occasional "Yes, yes correct" or "No, no!" (complete with an edge of panic in my voice) and that seemed to please them. But something weird happened- as if by osmosis, or diffusion for those of you who are anal about these terms, I started to actually speak a few phrases of Tulu. A few well formed phrases at that! Enough to make decent conversation! Mom and her aunts and cousins were shocked. God bless the unconscious absorbtion of information.

Speaking of banana leaves, sitting on the ground to eat with your hands can be a real bitch for someone who sits at a table and eats with a fork, knife and spoon 99.9% of the time. I managed to eat whatever came my way with measured small handfuls (fingerfuls?). Of course there were the usual 5..10.. 50 people laughing at my sad attempts all the way. But I like to think I did good.

Speaking of 'good', it was nice to realise that good looks run in the family too.
Heh heh heheh heheh.
(What? I never said I was modest!)
Mom's side of the family had people with pink skin and amber-green eyes.
What the hell? I've got brown eyes and brown skin.
Goddamn you, Genetics!
*Mahi shakes a fist*
But then again, even the ones without those feline features were pretty damn good looking too.
I know, I know, I'm being superficial and all that, but I like to give credit where it's due, okay?

Speaking of 'pretty damn good', let's talk about FOOD, people.
Singapore is forever calling itself as a foodie's paradise but compared to the food in India, it's just downright insipid.
The food there was completely and utterly mindblowing! I told Mom I would move there just for the food. At this point I could practically hear Mom gleefully thinking "Hee hee, single eligible bachelors in India, get readyyyyyyy!"

And finally speaking of bachelors, I didn't see many of them around but I did see their mothers and grandmothers around. These ladies are a force to be reckoned with.
They scare me.
There was a lot of whispering and hush-hush talk about prospective grooms and all that.
C'est la vie.

Oh and I shopped too.

The flights sucked ass but all in all I had an amazing time.

Here's to family ties

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Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

Welcome back..

Life here is so plain.
Like a plain dosa.

Mahi - you're the aloo in my dosa.

good to have u back.
Btw - i went to a banana leaf eating event...ate rice with my hands and saw some people lick all the way up to the elbows!

apparently its a turn-on to some guys...so lick away mate!

10:53 AM  
Blogger Silvara did the happy dance and finally said..

Um..ew to the above first lol :P Sounds like you had a great time - the huge rush of relatives that swarm around you to see that 'strange cousin from abroad' always overwhelms me but end up having a great time nonetheless. The food...is definitely a reason enough to move I think....

1:54 PM  
Blogger chitgo did the happy dance and finally said..

yay! chennai is awesome..although wish you could have swung through delhi...
anyways, eating on banana leaves was a first for me as well some years ago at my uncles wedding.....i was consistently made fun of as the uncultured northie boy but needless to say i had all the southie beauties eyeing me for future prospects....
he he he...

6:38 PM  
Blogger lemonade did the happy dance and finally said..

yay for chennai..!! :)
glad you had a good time albeit the absence of some hunky bachelors.. :)

love ur blog mahi..!!

11:25 PM  
Blogger .............. did the happy dance and finally said..


I cant help but picture you sitting on the floor eating with your hands.
And the fact that while sitting you will still seem like standing next to all those puney aunties...
AND your reputation seems to have preceeded you... all the mommies hid their good boys away...
But you should have sought the wrong ones then... thats where the fun is ;)

by the way tambi darling, did you do the 'rasam orgy'?
I hear it is a chennai special :P

11:47 PM  
Blogger .............. did the happy dance and finally said..

And I hate to do this... but did you manage to move some country cousin and beyond traffic towards your commercial art ?
aarteeshtik is the Een Theeng een eendeeaa these days :P

11:49 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dev - AWW im the aloo in your dosa? thats gotta be the sweetest thing you ever said to me mate :P
apparently its a turn-on to some guys...so lick away mate! *scandalized* ;O are you allowed to say that to your SAALI?

silvara - seeing long lost family is definitely awesome! i love it all

chitgo - oh believe me if i had enough time id have definitely stopped by delhi! but i only went for abt 3-4 days..way too short :(
hehe we southies are gorgeous arent we ;)

lemonade - yeaa who says you need guys to have fun eh? ;) thanks love!

harjee - actually ive sat on the floor to eat loadsa times before..but i was a bit outta practice having not visited india in ages..so yea it was hard :(
:) the place wasnt COMPLETELY devoid of cuties :P i did eye a few hehe
rasam orgy?? i have no idea man :P looks like u know quite a bit abt it ehhhh?

12:05 AM  
Anonymous faith did the happy dance and finally said..

thread ceremony? is it something that only the bhramin ppl do?

2:42 AM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster did the happy dance and finally said..

OOOOOO, isnt Madras the awesome-est? I'm glad you had fun. :)

5:37 AM  
Anonymous the pooh did the happy dance and finally said..

lol... thats a good one mahi..have trouble with this when i was tamil nadu..but yeah there is something about that palce that makes u want to go back there sometime..

7:28 AM  
Anonymous minku did the happy dance and finally said..

yeaaaaaaaa,...ur back!!!!!!!

3:32 PM  
Blogger jedimerc did the happy dance and finally said..

It's ok, I haven't visited in awhile either... hope things are going ok in your part of the world :)

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

What, no pictures?

12:06 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

faith- yup you got it right..its a brahmin ceremony :)

megha - yea! i went to chennai after years...the best part wqas the weather! i expected it to be scorching but it was very cool 23 degrees...absolute bliss baby!

pooh - it definitely is a lovely place :)

minku - yeaaaa i am!!! :D

medi - its all good mate :) i havent visited other blogs either...things are super busy here :(

nal - haha no there are pix of course but im not putting them up (sigh..issues issues.)

2:23 PM  
Blogger Urban Bourbon Ninja did the happy dance and finally said..

I'm slightly afraid of india too :) welcome back. we missed you. even though we didn't know you were gone.

and erm, harjee, Rasam orgy? You're from north india right? Dude. Thats not an orgy. Thats just how the south indians eat their meals.

4:44 PM  
Anonymous drops of jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Speaking of brown girls, my EX-best friend (yeah she's a total bitch now) was brown, prolly two shades browner than I. She's tulu.

And get this, her mom ..and I am not making this up.. looked *exactly* like a very fat, very very voluptuous version of Aishwarya Rai (who Im sure you know is also Tulu). People used to go up to her and ask her if she was Ash Rai's older sister.

My point is.. damn you Tulu people!

This post implies that you have very hot cousins that you obviously cannot hit on and therefore are obligated to introduce to your brown, but still quite pretty, friends. So what are you waiting for? Do some good karma and I will also bless you with "may you get a good husband and hundred sons and all that"

ps: this weekend bhangra night, you going?

4:29 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

ninja- aww thats sweet, i think :P
oyeeeee don't make fun of us southie u damn...damn...wait arent you southie too?:P

jups - i know yaar...damn the ones who have gorgeous browny-greeny eyes. bah.
(not all tulu people are evil, i swear!)
LOL unfortunately for my brown but still quite pretty friends, my cousins are way younger! and all the older uncles (who are closer to my age) are all married.
oh the bhangra night..i dont think so :S are you??

6:00 PM  
Blogger That Armchair Philosopher did the happy dance and finally said..

Agrees with Jups - you should go around introducing your cousins to people you know - do your bit for the family, what?

Hehehe, funny post though :) How're things going with you?

9:24 AM  
Blogger Di did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL..very true..all u c at ceremonies like these are every "eligible" guys mothers and grandmas!!COngrats on the tulu-learnin bit...I too speak malayalam only wen Im in kerala(which is like twice a year) and just manage.. :)

10:53 AM  
Anonymous drops of jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..


THE PARTY SUCKED ASS. Im sure you can imagine how much it sucked seeing as the above was all caps.

seriously, thank your stars you didn't go.

and this is me sulking because your cousins are underage.

10:16 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

army - things are ok dude...going slow...blah. this is gonna be a slow year..i can feel it in my bones.

di - haha yea my aunts and grandma were thrilled to hear me speak it..who cares if i didnt have the accent and butchered most of the words :P now my moms on a mission to make sure i learn it..so everyday she'll remember for an hour to speak to me in tullu (and then she forgets and im like 'PHEEEW!') :D

jups - oh you went!?! was it that bad? seriously? were the dhol players there?? details!
aww...im sorry..but then again age is just a number! :D

10:21 AM  
Blogger tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

hmm that was a nice trip!
I guess u went to Chennai at the bestest time ever. I was there for a friend's wedding in April last year and was thoroughly screwed up! there was so much of humidity that i turned down a job offer only coz i cudnt live in Chennai!

and by the way, u shud visit Murugan idli whenever you are there. they make the best south indian stuff globally (i made up the globally part, but they are awesome).

in a totally unrelated event, I went home and was again questioned by my mom, neighbours, relatives and not-so-well-wishers about my plans for marriage!

6:58 PM  
Anonymous drops of jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

There were five male strippers acting all gay-porn-ish and thrusting in black spandex thongs...

I know what you're thinking..Bhangra night? Strippers? I was so not amused. It was disgusting esp with all these wannabe chicks screaming stuff like "Take off your clothes bitch!"

The whole strip show was like 6-7 songs long to the tune of bad boyband numbers no less.

Can you blame me?

12:43 AM  
Blogger sac did the happy dance and finally said..

oh fucking hell i want to eat rava idlis and paper dosa and kothu parota and chilly beef RIGHT NOW. never mind that i've just had dinner (aka a 6" Subway sandwich and a Lucozade). i WANT! gaaa gaaaah agaagaahagah.
in other news, i think the colours of your body parts are just fine.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous MinKy did the happy dance and finally said..


11:27 PM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

I know! I haven't been blog-visiting in ages! But when I do, your's is my first pit-stop! And it's always worth the trip... love reading your little (well, sometimes lengthy ;)) posts! Don't Stop! ever!

2:34 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

time to update?

4:21 AM  
Blogger Raindrop did the happy dance and finally said..

Come on Mahi, like skin/eye colour has anything to do with beauty! And I wouldn't trade in my black/brown eyes for ANYTHING! Uh. I'm lying. I would, if it would make me 4 inches taller. :)

2:25 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

tetra - yea! i expected the weather to be really hot but it was so so lovely..a cool 22 degrees with very little humidity! oh i dont knoww..im not too keen on idlis and sambar to be honest :(
ooo tetra's get-ting maaarried :P

jups - *mahi prays that the girls jups saw and heard, weren't her good friends who also happened to be at that bhangra night*

sac - PIG! hehe thank you *blush*

minku - soooooon soooon :P

surbhi - thank you baby! :D you made my day!

apoo - sooooon soooon :P

raindrop - hahah well there ya go! we're never happy eh? pfft. women!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Strider did the happy dance and finally said..

hey when's the one where Mahi posts again coming out? :-P

5:00 PM  

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