23 December, 2006

About Time.

Dear Time,
Hey there, it's me, Mahima. I'm the one who's always dumbstruck at how fast you seem to move? Yep. That one.

So anyway I've been thinking. It's going to be 2007 already. I remember thinking back in 1997, when I was *counts* 12 years old, I remember thinking what life would be in the much-fantasised-about 2000's. I even made a list of things that could, nay, MUST happen in 10 years time-
1) There would be flying cars.
2) There would be no more homework.
3) People would be able to teleport
4) I would be married (Yes. I thought I'd get married by the time I was 23. Come to think of it, there's still a few more months left...don't underestimate how efficient and resourceful Indian mothers/aunties/relatives can be.)
5) If I was not married, I'd have a really AWESOME boyfriend, because you know..everyone started having boyfriends back then, but I was just the funny tall weird Indian girl who didn't have a chance in hell to get lucky, but I would be damned if I didn't have a really awesome boyfriend in 10 years time.
6) I would morph into a bombshell. Everyone else would grow just as tall as me, the pimples would disappear, the glasses would disappear and God Help Me, my hair would either magically turn really nice and manageable or I'd be bald.

So yes. That was basically my list of priorities. Let's see what has happened and what has not.

1) Nope. No flying cars. Note to self: Must make some important scientific guy turn my plan about building magnetic roads and magnetic cars into reality. (Like poles repel..hence the cars will fly/levitate/float...geddit? I still need to work out the details.)
2) There is still too much goddamned homework.
3) I think they've got the technology sorted out but these bastards aren't letting us in on the whole truth.
4) I am not married. Forget that, in the past year my whole view on it has changed. I am seriously reconsidering this whole marriage thing. My sociology teacher said "When you marry someone, you're essentially officialising the fact that your time is now theirs too." It is not even funny how freaked out I got by hearing that. Picture Mahi with deer antlers (or not since female deers don't have antlers....) getting caught in the headlights.
5) 10 years on, I'm single. Not that I'm crying or anything and I'm not even bitter. I'd like to think I've reached a point in my life where I realise that the fact that I'm single has got nothing to do with my looks or personality or whatever, and hence has no impact on my self esteem. I've still got an ego the size of a blue whale. I'm single by choice, it's just the way things are. It's all good.
6) The pimples have gone, my eyesight magically corrected itself, my hair has become pretty decent and I'm still taller than almost everyone here.

Well, 1 outta 6 ain't too bad, eh?

I just got back from a really lovely marathon movie session (okay well we saw 2 movies!) with Sidra and Ju, who've been my dear friends since secondary school. We don't meet up often enough but its amazing because when I'm with them, You seem to stand still, as if to allow us to relish the moments of joy and laughter we have.
After 10 years we find that in each others' company, we're just the same old girls that we used to be, pigging out, giggling, gossiping, reliving old memories, enjoying the innocence but occaisionally surprising each other by how beautifully we've all grown up.

SO anyway, Time, most people have a humungous bone to pick with You, but you know what? We're cool. I like You. I've come to realise the more I butt heads with You, the less cooperative You are. Not really like quicksand, but You get the idea.
I've learnt to take it easy in general. And I think I like the relationship we're forming.

Carry on doing what You're doing, Time.
Here's to Time flying


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Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

Another classic... :)

PS: Number six did happen...

1:36 AM  
Blogger GettingThereNow did the happy dance and finally said..


Merry Christmas and wish you a very happy, healthy, prosperous New Year. Who knows- mabe you'll strike GOLD in the boyfriend area :)

1:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

I caught your "flying cars" post in a "Google Alert" for flying cars...

I'll tell you where your flying cars are... You already know where they aren't...

They're in my 14 cases of 75-thousand pages of notes... That's where they have always been, since 1978...

Now I'm beginning to understand why my project has and is being so stifled...
I read in a blog, that Bush recently legislated "under the counter" that Americans are banned from developing engines and powersources which might obsolete Oil consumption...
What's with that guy? Is he hellbent on tossing all of us back a couple thousand years ago.. or What?..

It's scary that one guy could stifle humanity that big, and get away with it...

Have you seen the latest "flying car" claim..?
It's a blimp, tied to a something or other.. It looks like a "floating gurney"...
Next thing yah know they'll be driving their cars off'n cliffs, claiming they have flying cars...

I have the technology for flying cars engines... I just can't find the funding..? And I sure have tried... I've been snubbed more times than I can count... Now, being snubbed is just a way of life for me... I expect it...

...1978 late Fall.. on a planned three-week leisurely cruise across Canada, along highway number-one, along as much of the scenic-routes as I could find.. just past the Ontario border into Manitoba.. I saw two large meteorites cross a huge "X" in the sky.. and thought about it with all I had.. "What makes Alien craft's engines work", I telepathed from all my Being...
...A few minutes later, I had to park, to write the flood of new data, for three hours straight.. resulting in the crude bench manual to build a liquid electricity rocket...

James Watt watched a kettle boil, and invented the steam engine...
I saw an X in the sky, and invented the liquid electricity engine...

I attempted to detail the workings of the engine to a visiting European nuclear physicist.. "mindless dolt" would be a better fitting title... 60-seconds into the description, his face when pale, his chin dropped, he struggled to speak, he accused me of "talking in the forth dimension", barely managed to stand, managed to walk three paces, and fell flat on his face...

Over the years I have contacted pretty-much every major scientific concern in the big business world, and all the powerful politicians, and even a couple of the great religions.. to no avail...
All I got was "classy" snubbing and scorn, from the mindless scientific community, governments, and religions... and a lot of "remote viewers" desperately trying to suck technology from my mind, mostly when I slept.. till I figured ways to seriously damage them upon approach...
Plus there were a lot of attempts to dig into my computers, them believing I'd put the meat in a computer connected to the Net.. thht on that!.. They destroyed five of my PC's in their desperate attempts to rob me... Seems this race doesn't want engines for flying cars, and engines to take us to other solar systems, Unless they can steal it from the inventor... It's a pity I am being forced to take all this technology to the grave...

All this engine is, is a couple simple modifications to laser... It "cracks" light... Damaged light "particles" self-heal with the nearest molecules.. thus creating raw antimatter-acids, which are saved in exhaust scrubbers, and sold by the public, to power industry... The service station pays the consumer for plugged full exhaust scrubbers.. A complete 180 turn-around for having to pay for gas all these years...

Fragmented light "particles" instantly decay into liquid electricity, which produces tremendous thrust from a tiny 14-inch long by 4-inch diameter engine... Among the 110 new-technologies in this science layer, it replaces combustion as a power source, opens the bonds of the inert elements, establishes plazma-welding of all materials to all materials, is the base to establish disintegrator trash-pails, obsoletes hospitals, gives us planetary defense weaponry and thousands of new toys, and gets us to other habitable-planets before this one shows us we've already killed it...

It's that.. or you'all can go try to find it all by yourselves, by your classic "scientific" trial and error methods...

If anyone has a clue how to get new technology funded, I'd sure appreciate hearing about it.. and I'm sure you would benefit from it greatly when I start marketing flying-cars... Do you prefer two seaters or four seaters?..

Why is it so tough to get new technologies funded?.. Could it be that mankind's intellect is devolving..? given that cell phones are baking brains.. meth, and coke are dissolving and melting brains, the drug industry's pain killers evolutions are numbing people to escape reality, dirty smallpox vaccinations are destroying brain file connections, alcohol and the prolific lack of nutrients are literally desiccating brains in their cases... Every day it seems more and more that humans are devolving into Apes... Just look at how they, you, we, treat this planet, like it's an expendable resource...

Bottom-line is, You get flying cars about five years after I gets a lab and a credit card... Simple as that... if we still have a planet left after the 13-Colonies nuclear world war three game...

I've done a life-time of work acquiring this technology.. I've taken it as far as I can without funding... If I'm not funded by my 60th birthday (10 months from now), the 75-thousand pages of notes burn in the garden on my 60th, and I'll send a video clip of the bon-fire, and a cover story, to the mindless scientific community, for their archives... and you all can get your flying cars when the next one like me comes along, in about 500 to a 1000 years...

So.. Now you know why you are not driving your flying-cars today.. and why those alive today won't be seeing flying-cars in their lifetimes...


This liquid electricity emitter's raw output is a dirty-pink stationary light-cloud... which evolves into 4-D TV, and into cinema special effects breakthroughs for the next 500-years... Filmable synthetic actors.. restricted only by lack of imagination...

A little further research, this toy evolves into engines that will obsolete Fire as a power source... Fire will become illegal... The atmosphere will have the opportunity to self-heal.. and the air won't stink so bad...

This plazma engine will power all our vehicles, including moon and mars capable consumer RV's... and will provide mankind with the basic means to populate other planets in other solar systems...

This engine evolved to tools and weaponry, will do things like, "write a poem on a lunar cliff-face from earth... and drill a meter diameter hole 20-miles into the earth's crust, for us to plant magma batteries, which crystallize into crystallines, with hardnesses 14 to 28 on the Mho's scale... Thereby revolutionizing several industries: optics, bearings, abrasives, weaponry, and pretty much evolving every industry and life in many ways...

This is what our Species has been searching for... I found it, but it seems no one can even begin to fathom any of it... I tell them, and they "piss" in my face, and try to damage my life...

The usual reaction I get when mentioning any of this in various Internet forums, is verbal flame, and barrages of mindless insults, and varying religious, pseudo-physiological, and political battles, with aggressive mindless people, all hellbent on defending the insane stagnancy-quo...

I defend myself well against slanderous attacks, which have resulted in me being banned from many forums and scientific communities...
I've heard it all repeatedly, in various world forums, and from other sources.. and from the mindless scientific community, that can't even grasp the first minute of any of these technologies... It's the same "wall of fear" and insanity that all the ancient greats were confronted by... It's what trashed Tesla's lab after he plugged a light-bulb into the ground... It's what ridiculed Flemming for inventing penicillin, for claiming that "tiny invisible bugs were the cause of disease"... Then the medical scientific community tried to destroy Flemming's life.. and then they returned, content, back to their tapping wounds with filthy turkey-feathers, dipped in alcohol and various bright colored rock-powders, to frighten-away disease and infection... "ookook-eiee! Auk!"..

It's that dam wall that your devolving superstitious mindless fearful species just can't see any light nor reality through... Seems there is no secret entry-point through this Race's mindless blind insanity levels, to permit a true scientist to build new technologies anymore, to give this Race more... Seems you are all content with the fall into Oblivion.. forever numbing the discomforts of the fall, with your latest evolutions of designer drugs, and your silly interactive-cartoons, to keep your minds off your species impending demise... When then near the year 145,730AD, the last human can be viewed cracking the marrow out of the bones of the second last.. and by 155,000AD, the planet can't even support the life of one single hardy beetle...

So now you really know why you don't have your 1200mph flying cars today...
Or as that gossip-guy Paul Harvey on the radio would say, "And now you know.. The rest of the story"...


5:33 AM  
Blogger jedimerc did the happy dance and finally said..

Wow, I hope no one sends me a response like that when I complain about a lack of transporters...

That made my head hurt, and I understood some of the principles behind the engine, just annoyed, as usual, by the bash humanity speech... let's not blame ourselves, but everyone else instead. (btw, doesn't Japan and Germany have mag lev trains? I know there was an accident in Germany with one about a year ago).

On your post, lol, it's good to come to an accord with time. When writing, time has been my ally even if it is all in retrospect :)

6:36 AM  
Blogger Silvara did the happy dance and finally said..

Yikes! I didn't even TRY and read that comment...all you did was mention flying cars and WHOA...hehehe

I liked this post a lot - I wish that Time could stand still but somehow it always seem to slip away from me and I'm still standing in the same spot I was 10 years ago.

First 3 points I was SO hoping for as well - ahhh...let's wait a few more years for them :D

The other 3....points 4 (soon!) & 5 I have but they were a complete surprise. Point 6....That was me 10 years back...now I'm still short, the skin is better, the eyesight is still dodgy and the hair - it has its moments. APPARENTLY I have morphed...I don't see it...but when ppl come up to you from 10 years back and "DAMN girl!!" hmm.... :D

Have a great Christmas Mahi and a FABULOUS, WILD but safe New Year's :D

10:08 AM  
Anonymous drops of jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..


11:38 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rajesh - i wouldn't call myself a bombshell but i think i clean up pretty well :P thank u!

C.K - thank u! a very merry christmas and a happy new year to u too..haha about striking gold..im not holding high hopes about that :) we'll just see how it turns out!

anon/donald j - wow that is officially the longest comment i've ever received..i'd love to tell you that i read and understood every single word of that but unfortunately i didnt...the technobabble went over my head, even for a trekkie such as myself..
good luck tho! don't be so angry..have a merry christmas!

jedimerc - exactly..people spend all their lives fighting against time and they fail to understand they could be doing other constructive things instead...
lol i am SO going to think twice the next time i talk about flying cars/spaceships/anything

silvara - haha yea same...i didnt realise when exactly i morphed but it would seem that i did! heres to pleasant surprises haha
oooh no.4 is gonna happen soon?? im so happy for you! congrats babe :D you have an awesome new years too!

jusp - :D

12:27 PM  
Blogger abhi did the happy dance and finally said..

funneh ... ur sex change operation doesn't figure in this 10 year plan/list

1:24 PM  
Blogger Strider did the happy dance and finally said..

//Dear Time,

That reminded me of the line Mr Time used in Mahabharat, "Mai samay hu"

//Well, 1 outta 6 ain't too bad, eh?
almost missed that! ;)

7:11 PM  
Blogger Scritch did the happy dance and finally said..

glad you rethought the whole marriage thing. 23 is damn young for anyone.

A friend of mine knows someone who's already been divorced by 23 holy shit.
Have a good xmas and new year. Singapore must be fun for New yrs I imagine but at least Bombay is warm

1:48 AM  
Anonymous MiNkara did the happy dance and finally said..

hello babes, ya hair jus aint descent its HERBAL ESSENCE model haIr now...=)

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Kay did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey! I love your paintings! will buy a few when my paycheck comes in! That's a promise, btw do you do portraits?

9:50 PM  
Anonymous Kay did the happy dance and finally said..

you can reach me at queengypsykay.blogspot.com or alternatively at kabetha@hotmail.com thanks!


9:52 PM  
Anonymous renegadefade did the happy dance and finally said..

hah that anon comment was grt .. i wish i could the say the same abt ur post.. ha ha just kidding ..
it made me think back to what i was doing 10 yrs ago and what i used to look forward to .. (unfortunately my memory isnt that grt and i never really used to think abt the future that much)

1:53 AM  
Blogger jedimerc did the happy dance and finally said..

Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year :)

4:35 AM  
Blogger chitgo did the happy dance and finally said..

arrre well said kudi:) well said...
im amazed you remembered some of your '10 years forth' priorities from when you were 12....

im looking forward to making my list for when im 33....

have a great new year babe and catch you soon!

12:55 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

abhi - *sets phaser to 'kill' setting* BZZZZZT

strider - OH I REMEMBER that speech! i thought it was really amazing that one!

scritch - dude! singapore is super hot too! and humid! altho it has been raining nonstop...bad hair days, here i come :(

thank u minku :D muah!

thanks kay! yes i do indeed do portraits, infact i specialise in portrait and figure drawing (but ask me to draw an apple and i struggle)
i tried visiting your blog but nothing loads on the page?

renegadefade - its so weird man..everything that happened after i came to singapore, i can remember perfectly well..sometimes i cant believe im gonna turn 23 soon..i still have the heart of a 16 year old i reckon

hey jedimerc! same to u too buddy :)

chitgo - oh i do remember them like it was yesterday! happy new year chitgo, party safe and hard!

1:10 PM  
Blogger tetracyclops did the happy dance and finally said..

hey i guess u can make ur own flying car thingie with all the fundae that u have got!
get an awesome boyfrnd ;-) u deserve one..

and in typical gujju slang..
lage raho mahimaben!

2:10 PM  

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