23 July, 2006

Crazy Girl Rants..about stuff. (there's a tag too)

This is gonna be one of those posts that has a bit of everything..

---Begin Referral Rant---
I know a lot of bloggers have done this - checked referrals and seen really weird shit that leads readers to their site..and I'm no different :) Except that the number of readers is irrelevant to me..honest..I'm just so tickled by what pops up on referrals.

Anyway this is mostly what i got these past 2 days.. here goes:
mahima legs (why..thank you.)
made mahima dev appreciation day (Deeev....was this you? :P)
these are the days of our lives tv theme (who is THIS lame!? I want to SHOOT you for watching this show.)
indians are lazy (damn right.)
mahima boobs (like I'd honestly ever put that up.)
man beaters (wtf? who's been watching me)
bursting bladder (oh-kaay..you need a urologist or something..I don't think I'm qualified for this stuff...)
hindus believe in hell (yes. i do. its called the Australian embassy..it's alternate site is the Indian embassy)
hot mahima (so sweet.)

Come out, come out, wherever you are...bloody freakshows.
---End Referral Rant---

---Begin Period Rant---
I just remembered something, in Australia a male friend of mine asked about a girl's period and why we get cramps..now I'm no doctor but I did do biology (um..in 10th grade) and here's what I want to tell you clueless men and women out there-
1) It's not dirty blood. There is no such thing as 'dirty blood'. There's only 'oxygenated' and 'deoxygenated' blood. It's the uterus lining that's being shed. You know? The lining that the fertilized egg attaches itself to?
And here's a big FUCK YOU if you still go around exempting women (and yourself) from carrying out their daily business with the lame ass excuse of "No. You are dirty." (This does not apply to gym class :P)
2) Don't tell us to 'deal with it' when we complain about cramps. Not unless you want to get punched in the face. It's real, it's not just a state of mind.

No I'm not PMSing. Does EVERYTHING have to be attributed to PMS??! GO AWAY!
---End Period Rant---

---Begin Melbourne Rant---
I've been thinking about THE FUTURE.
(My future..not yours :P)

Maybe this is my post-holiday blues talking but I REALLY would like to settle down in Melbourne. Sure I know there are better places, and sure I know I probably haven't seen any better...but it's Melbourne for now.
I just went grocery shopping today and it totally pissed me off to see a handful of button mushrooms cost more than a Starbucks coffee. Mushrooms three times the quantity of this cost half the price in Melbourne. Ditto for Basil leaves.
(I made pesto..it rocked-
2-3 cups basil leaves, packed
3 cloves garlic
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
couple of tablespoons olive oil
about 80-100 grams pine nuts
Method - Blend it all together..couple of minutes on a pan with mushrooms if you want, serve with pasta anyway you want..knock yourself out!)
It's little things like that ya know?
The annoying cashier who doesn't smile back pissed me off too and bought back memories of witty conversations with waiters and waitresses in Melbourne. Sure they probably didn't give a rats ass if I liked my triple chocolate caramel cake or why I turned vegetarian, but at least they ASKED!
Okay the shopping here is cheaper, but so what.
And what is with the WEATHER. I could feel my organs jostling for more breathing room (oh you know what I mean), my hair getting poofier and my smoothie becoming an insipid, room temperaturey-watery drink in like 2 seconds.

Thank God at least cabs here are cheaper (FOR NOW)
---End Melbourne Rant---

---Begin Bored Rant---
I'm beginning to get that feeling again..(no not that lovin' feeling.)
You know..I just need to do SOMETHING but I don't know what. It's something artistic but there's a block that preventing me from seeing what it is I need to do. And I'm kinda lazy.
---End Bored Rant---

---Begin Music Rant---
Dev was nice enough to burn me a CD of mostly Aussie Music (I'm not sure if ALL these artists are Aussie tho). I'd like to spread the love and tell you guys which ones I love (and why)-

Pete Murray - Fly With You (very sexy. I LOVE this one..it's been on repeat)
Pete Murray - Opportunity (this one is very special and never fails to bring back memories of all of us singing this in the car to wherever, always. This was the song Dev played on the guitar and I sang, on that lovely night of Mafia playing, mad inspirational dancing and tarot card reading)
Eskimo Joe - Black Fingernails Red Wine (on the aussie radio ALL THE DAMN TIME.)
Eskimo Joe - London Bombs ( Heartbreaking.)
Ben Lee - Gamble Everything for Love ( Dev suggested I get over my issues when it came to affairs of the heart and put this song on..I think it might have helped :) )
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy (this one played when um...I got over my issues :P)
---End Music Rant---

And now for my tag from (which will be kinda short coz this entry has been kinda longish) the lovely Cee Kay, the now *cough* defunct 4WD and my chalu sistah Megha-

I am thinking about..
This annoying upper back pain I'm experiencing..I feel like someone out there has a Mahi voodoo doll and twists it viciously at least 3 times a day.

I said…
Some pretty bold things in Melbourne...sober! =D
Worked pretty well in my favour I think. Note to self - Be more bold, more often.

I want to…
Go back to Melbourne (oh like you didn't see that coming.) I know things won't always stay the same but I know its natural to long to be somewhere else..so I'm just going with the flow..I know I'll get over my Melbourne-sickness....I think.

I wish…
I wasn't in this country sometimes..I think sometimes I'd be happier anywhere else.

I hear…
What people don't have to say. But sometimes I pretend I don't.

I wonder..
when I'll meet a nice, intelligent, hot man. (they always end up having 2 out of the 3)..No scratch that I HAVE known men like that, but I wonder when I'll actually end up with one (who's not gay.)

I Regret..

I am...
Confident, stubborn, selfish, funny, smart, empathic, a good conversationalist, someone you'd want to know..........when it suits me.

I dance..
best after 3 drinks. :)

I sing..
all the time and everywhere. I cook best when there's music playing in the background.

I cry..
once in a blue moon and rarely in front of other people. Please don't psychoanalyse that...I just don't!

I am not always..
such a joy to know

I make with my hands..
my art. Every piece of art has a piece of my soul and a little spiritual guidance in it.

I write ..
stuff on this blog mainly for me to read after say...30 years. Just to see how much I've changed.

I confuse...
road directions really often. If you're lost PLEASE don't call me for directions..you'll end up in Timbuktu.

I need..
a place that feels like home...and a nice intelligent hot straight man to call my own :D

And finally...
this post is DONE!
Hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

(You KNOW there's only one correct response to that statement :P)

Oh and I tag no one to do this :)
(But if you want to do it anyway, you have my blessings)



Blogger exclusively_me did the happy dance and finally said..

wow im the first one to comment....yeh sweetie yeh i dread that time of the month sooo damn much.....after all i wrote an entire post on tummy aches.and yes men can be so naive and foolish when it comes to such things....and i think we sure shud start a punch-every-stupid-man-who-tells-us-to deal with -it movement.....

12:27 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

"(This does not apply to gym class :P)"
- And sex....

"Don't tell us to 'deal with it' when we complain about cramps. Not unless you want to get punched in the face. It's real, it's not just a state of mind."
- OK. Anyways, I always felt you deserved it :P

Apoo goes underground for indefinite period of time

2:56 AM  
Blogger GettingThere did the happy dance and finally said..

I agree with you TOTALLY (...if you still go around exempting women (and yourself) from carrying out their daily business...) I have seen that happen. I wonder why women accept their fate and go through it and believe it...

Thanks for doing the tag :D I wasn't sure anyone was going to pay any attention to it :P

7:23 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

theres an actress called mahima..maybe thats who they were going after...

the other stuff.. i think its ...prisoners from Azkaban... only that can explain the "otherworldiness" of the search terms.. hahahahahahhaha

sigh.. as for period cramps.. men will NEER understand.. it is THIS pain that makes US human and THEM aliens.
i rest my case.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

exclusively me - aww..well u know there are some men out there who ARE willing to learn more :) god bless them..miracles do occur! haha

apoo - smart move soldier.

ck - hehe believe it or not i kinda like tags! is it just me or are indian women the worst when it comes to just blindly believing that they're incapable of doing what they truly want to do?

grafx - haha yea im pretty sure they meant mahima chowdhary..lol those referrals werent the worst..theres MORE!

7:13 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

my husband doesn't care whether I have my period or not - he'll do me either way! lol are indian guys super neat-freaks or what? lol

1:57 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar did the happy dance and finally said..

ughhhh*cough*cough*T*hmmm*M*I*ntelligent post
'I cook best when there's music playing in the background.' Yeah I am sure it helps ppl to drown their sorrows when they consume it too ;)

7:22 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dawn - nahh indian guys are just super queasy :P

and you're just jealous you can't taste my cooking.

5:13 PM  
Blogger 30in2005 did the happy dance and finally said..

It does seem to be one of those 'oh not such a great day' posts. Interesting albeit myriad thoughts all in one post always make for an interesting read....

6:59 PM  
Blogger Meghana did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey Mahi!!! long time no comments on your blog from me :) Well, frankly this blog sort of got me confused...I didnt understand where you were going, what you were trying to say...But, once I was done.I figured it out :) You know just going back to one of your old blogs where you had said something like that sometimes home does not need to be the place where you were born or raised, it could be just somewhere where you feel comfortable and welcomed or so...I loved that...I always feel the same about Toronto...Whenever I go there I just want to stay there forever...maybe bcos Shruti was there...But, I used to feel so comfortable there and even I feel sometimes that I should have not come to this country. I should probably be some place else, doing something more exciting and useful with my life...But, aah I guess we cannot have it all...Anyways, loved your blog...keep blogging and talking about random, wonderful memories and incidents of yours...You have such an amazing art to portray incidents and events with words making it seem so interesting and dreamy :) Well,thats what I percieve of your blogs :) bottom line, I like to read them...Like I had once said,they always take me to this other world...far away from my boring one atleast :) take care then...

PS: Sorry if the comment got a bit too long :)

4:34 AM  
Blogger Raindrop did the happy dance and finally said..

The PMS thing - it gets me so mad! The next time a guy suggests that I DEAL with it, I'll rip his insides open and give him a homestyle ovary/uterus transplant.

I like music while I'm cooking too. I'm partial to jazz. What's your cooking music?

6:42 AM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..


1) PMS - how do you expect men to understand? How can you possibly understand something BLEEDING for 5 days and not dying??

2) regarding your referrals: i have successfully googled and referred the following words to your site:
-mahima the man beater
-mahima bursting legs
-lazy indian boobs


3) glad you liked the music! aussie music rocks! ps , taxiride are gonna release a new album soon!

4) to post this comment i have to type: zhxpmkmt in the field below! thats crazy

1:19 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

30in2005- thank u! :) do visit again!

megha - yup i remembe rthat place..i think it was on my post about rang de basanti! yea u know the grass always does seem greener on the other side..but the other side has its problems too..
trust me babes my life isnt that exciting at all..just once in a while a couple of funny things happen and i blog about it..bas :)
dont apologize! i love long comments!

raindrop - u know guys pms too but get this..it happens on a DAILY basis! my cooking music varies actually..right now its alot of pete murray, eskimo joe and ben lee!

1)that was such a BAAAAAAAAD joke.
2)u suck man
3) cool! looking forward to u burning it for me :D
4) not half as mad as : xmrxmhklysrj
(ok ok i made that up)

1:49 AM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Gnarls Barkley is pretty cool actually.. although their music videos are really eff-ed.

pms pain..someone asked me what it was like..i said it's like getting kicked in the crotch for five days.he never gave me grief again.

9:25 AM  
Blogger ... did the happy dance and finally said..

That was a lovely post with the rants. I hate it when someone says "You are behaving this way because you are PMSing". I do feel like punching them in the face - and I will one of these days.

And how can you want to settle down in Melbourne when you are in Singapore now!! I think Singapore is so much better than Melbourne. So much more diverse!

5:36 PM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster did the happy dance and finally said..

ARGH, the nutters who have no clue as to what PMS or having a period means...refer them to me mahi..I think they need err. ..special treatment :)

3:52 AM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

To read after THIRTY years?!

I'm not sure if Blogger would still be around then! Best you print this out on acid-proof paper and archive it now!

6:20 AM  
Blogger IdeaSmith did the happy dance and finally said..

Typically humour mixed in with facts. A big THANK YOU for putting up the science of menstruation...I dunno where most men were in school when we had all this laid out in textbooks. #$@&...am still gnashing my teeth at those PMS jokes..whew..*rant over*

2:24 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jups - i loved gnarls' 'crazy' video..loved how they used the whole 'rorschach inkblot test' theme!
oh man..can i use that 'kicked in the crotch' line?? thats the best way to shut em up

...- i dunno man i found melbourne more warm than singapore..like the people there and all...i just loved it all!

megha - i was just thinking of that! like if mahi treatment isnt enough, they need to go a step higher and get referred for some MEGHA TREATMENT *cue ominous music*

jay - CHOYYYYYYYYYYYY dont say such things la! ill just die if my blog dies...

smithy- anytime sistah..the world needs to get over their queasiness man...ahem..PMS jokes...dev..you'd better hide :P smithy's after u!!!

3:02 PM  
Blogger exclusively_me did the happy dance and finally said..

i already told ya....we MUST start a punch-every-man-not-knowing-abt-pms-in-their-face movement..! yes ppl yes lets make it a movement..*cue khoon chala khoon chala*(song frm RDB)

11:20 PM  
Blogger Vijayeta did the happy dance and finally said..

LOL @ referrals... For the longest time i had people searching for "Carol Gracias Breasts at LFW" and "Wardrobe Malfunction" landing up on my blog! And the recent, most hilarious one, "Vijayeta marriage". Whatever in the world that means!!

5:55 PM  

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