07 June, 2006

Transitions

I've realised something over the past few days.
I've become all about transitions.
It's become like my middle name.

Everything in my life revolves around change. I won't say 'evolution' because that would entail moving onto a higher plane of things, moving to a better place.
I don't think some of my changes are good or neccessarily better, but they are changes nevertheless.

'Temporaryism has been the Black Plague and the Jesus of our age.'
-'Just a phase' by Incubus

I might come off as someone who likes things remaining stable and calm, but the fact of the matter is I like change. I wait for it. I embrace it and I thrive on it. I'll endure the change kicking and screaming, but don't be fooled for one second. I love it.

When I moved to Singapore from Lagos, I still remember the last night there. Friends all around us were crying, my Mom was inconsolable, Dad shed a tear or two, my brother cried coz he saw everyone else crying. I just stood there waiting for everyone to hurry up and get into the car that would take us to the airport (never mind that later on the plane I threw up badly and then fully realised I had left the only place I had called 'home' for 11 years.). Funnily enough when I came to Singapore, I carried about my business like I had been there for years.
It's funny how circumstances and the urge to survive in a place, beat the doubt and fears out of you. You just learn to make do.


Every Sunday my friends and I went to Hindi school ( our chosen second language school and a god-awful waste of a perfectly good Sunday). I made some good friends and some not-so good friends. The not-so good friends and I vowed to be friends through thick and thin, forever and ever. Well that obviously didn't last (it's always like that isn't it?). This was partly due to two things -
1) Friendships aren't supposed to be that hard, and you're not obliged to bend over backwards to ensure everyone else has a good time at the expense of your fun and
2) It's a two-way effort. Like much of everything else.
Anyway then I met Arpu, Mink and Roohi, a few girls I wasn't really close to, and whom I didn't think much of, at first. So is it any surprise that now, 5 years later, we're like sisters? We've had our bad times like any other bunch of tight knit people but we've always managed to sort it out, sans any ill will.
Out with the old, and in with the new.
It didn't take many tears or much drama to move from one group to the next. Fact of the matter is - when one party puts in too much of everything or wastes too much time pointing out what's wrong instead of what's right, the relationship is pretty much doomed.


Ahh and then comes the time when I take a shine to someone special. I'll make the first move coz I'm not the sort who'll beat around the bush much. But if I don't get anything in return, I'll walk on. No love lorn hanging around, no "Please, please give me a chance". It's frighteningly easy sometimes.
It's not pride, dear reader, it's being practical.
Moving on isn't really that hard. There are loads of other single, eligible fish in the sea and hanging around is just too much of a damn drag.
And since we're talking about moving on, there is never any moving back. Call it a defence mechanism or whatever you want, but it just doesn't happen with me.
We learn, we adapt and we move on to bigger and better things. Past mistakes are avoided like the plague - Fool me once, it's your fault. Fool me twice, it's mine.

If I get married tomorrow and I have to move to Timbuktu, I'll whine about how I can't get Starbucks there or how the transport system sucks ass, but I'll go and I'll be damned if I can't enjoy a decent life there.
I AWAYS adapt and I ALWAYS make do- with or without anyone or anything.
Because believe it or not- this whiny brat is a survivor.


Nothing really forced me to write this entry...it's not a barb at anyone..just randomness =)

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23 Comments:

Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

wow mahi - thats amazing...

im gonna go ready it again...

(btw i wanted to be first post up!) :p

9:40 PM  
Blogger White Magpie did the happy dance and finally said..

Ye are the perfect chameleon. Ye will be happy no matter what. Like your attitude. That's the way to live. Slainte!!

I've tagged ye. In case ye haven't afore, then..

10:23 PM  
Anonymous roohi did the happy dance and finally said..

hey..this is to tell u i read ur blogs..hahaa..rock on kutts!

12:02 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

speaking as someone who has never stayed in one place or city for more than a year....and as someone moving AGAIN on Friday for a month to india then God knows where...ive learnt to adapt pretty well...coz i know i have to. but it doesnt mean i dont hate the fact that im a plant being transported round and round with my roots still stuck in my temporary plastic wrapping .

i hate it.ill do it. but i hate it.i need to find a place to let my roots dig deep.

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

Guess what? you just made up for the lost brownie points(and then some!!) for the "Tragic Oats Incident"... ;)

I can esp relate to the no turning back attitude...:)

12:11 AM  
Blogger Aqua did the happy dance and finally said..

nice post...i envy people who travel a lot and live in many different places...there's something magical about it i think

3:58 PM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

Timbuktoo has the biggest sand castle in the world, i think. I think people live in it. Really, i'm not lying. Its the capital of the bedouins. You could marry the bedouin king, and paint yourself blue, and feel like Saira Mohan. Really, that's what happens in timbuktoo. I'm not lying. It would be fun, no?

Stability is over-rated, i agree. Now if only the other women i know would agree to that!

5:08 PM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey Ms. Survivor!! Yeah!

Even though, moving on (despite how mandatory it might be) is not easy for a lot of people and the only common mundane example I can come up with is... heartbreaks! The ones who've had their hearts broken might have the capability to endure the pain, but moving on may not be easy!

However, if one can move on easily, I say that's a boon! No one likes to live in/with pain for too long (or never) unless of course, if he/she is into S&M!=P

9:09 PM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar did the happy dance and finally said..

Wow wat a feisty sisterhood with attempted strangulation and kicks to the backsides out of shared car rides thrown in for good effect. Wat was that u said ........... cmon spk up I cant hear you at all.............wat is that again damn this line from Spore is always hazy... what is that ahain oh I hear you now SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I guess its a lil too late for that now ;)
Nyways before the sisterhood throws up a few more catfights and I get thnk u msges on my cell I give ya permission to take off this comment once u r done with it :)

11:24 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dev you're a nutcase.

thank u magpie! about the tag...ive actually done the same tag before so that means i dont have to do it again ,right??
yaaay!

roohi - my my my THANK YOU for reading the blog, you cow.

grafx - aww im sure pretty soon you will have to settle down..but i think when you do settle...u might just miss the moving ;)

rajesh oats still rock my world. =D

thank u aqua! =)

4wd - would EVERYTHING have to be painted blue...EVERYTHING!?!?
:O that is hardcore..but still..fun..blue was always my colour =D
i will agree to your statement, if you are hot and rich.

surbhi - definitely agree with being unable to live in pain for too long...its not practical and the sooner people realise that, the easier it will be to move or make any big decision in particular!

omg rohan ure either drunk or you've had waay too much coffee! hahaha
catfight? what catfight? *blinks innocently* oh stop making up stuff in your head =)
AND CAR RIDES ARE OK IN MY BOOK (if not i wont hesitate to take a cab, got it :@)

1:35 PM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

I'm hot. I will be rich eventually. I'm slated for greatness. Really. I'm not lying. Every fortune teller i've asked has told me so. Even one that I didn't ask told me so.

12:01 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:00 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

you can move to Timbuktu and whine about how there is no Starbucks and make-do with the local coffee.

Or.... you could move to timbuktu, realize there is no Starbucks and start a 'mahiBucks' which evetually goes public and takes over StarBucks.

Dont be a survivor. Survivors adapt. They learn to live with the times. They let circumstances dictate them. Be an innovator... a fighter. A leader, who changes the outlook of things.

On a sidenote, you csound like your parents have found you a guy in a small village 200 miles south of Madras where all people wear white and have rice, coconuts and milk for food.

Chill up, Aussie and Keith urban is just 10 days away!

6:06 AM  
Blogger Surya Swamy did the happy dance and finally said..

some might argue this is your best post yet. When change becomes the only permanent, living in the present takes on a whole new dimension. You have but one life and I'm glad your LIVING IT:)

7:52 AM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster did the happy dance and finally said..

HUG.

I love this post(not that I dont love your other posts)....this one hit a nerve.

It really did.

4:06 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

4wd - HARDCORE! when do your parents want to talk to my parents?? heh heh

apoo - its funny you should say that i become an innovator because sooner or later, my need for things to be my way or to my liking always leads to me making sure that if no one else can help me then i'll help myself (by innovating or modifying or tweaking something. no dirty thoughts PLEASE!)
wow apee you're counting down with me! im so touched!

surya - thank you =) this was just a flow of consciousness..just me reliving the past and seeing the common theme through a few major life changing events..it was bittersweet to say the least..but yes..you're so right..stagnation brings about a sort of complacency regarding things around you..its good to shake things up once in a while =)

megha - thank u darling -hug-
=)

4:17 PM  
Blogger Mint Chutney did the happy dance and finally said..

Nice post Mahi. You're my kinda gal.

2:21 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

I can definitely relate on this one! I moved 32 times (that I can remember... so it's probably more) by the time I was 28!

Go Mahi! You are a kindred spirit on so many more levels than we thought! Fo' sho'!

5:32 AM  
Blogger aditi did the happy dance and finally said..

heyy.. ive been to this hindi school in s'pore, ur talking abt.. on a sunday..to pick up my cousins after class.. ard 6-7 yrs back.. lol.. but i remember.. wasnt ur principals name.. some..mr. tiwari.. and ull used to have some annual cultural day where u guys danced n stuff...? even my cousins used to hate that plc big time...

4:22 PM  
Blogger jhantu did the happy dance and finally said..

Though i didnt agree with some of the thoughts but still extremely well written

12:25 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

minty you're my kinda momma :D

WOW 32 Miz B! that is SO HARDCORE! you're a bohemian to the maz baby! vegetarians, movers and shakers..whats NEXT! :o

aditi - LOL yesss mr tiwari...we all hated it! what were your cousins names?? i might know them (singapore IS tiny after all)

thank u jhantu :)

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

help, Madame Mahima. i was raped.

[no one believes me..no one believes me.. no one believes me..]

i want to die in timbuktu. no one cares. lalalalal... no one cares. do u care?? u r pretty.

6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

n/m
i dun know u.
i like the blue rainbow flower thingy. that's cool.

6:13 AM  

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