31 August, 2005

Crazy Lady at Bookshop accosts Man at Counter.

It was the second week of uni, and people everywhere were forming queues the length of the Wall of China at the bookstores on campus.

My friend and I walked into one coz we had a jones for some chocolate. We were just apalled at the crazy line at the counter..there were people there, holding piles of painfully-heavy looking books, who had been lining up for almost an hour!

So I grabbed my bar of Hershey's Dark chocolate and my friend grabbed hers. We stood there wondering what was the fastest way to pay for them, WITHOUT having to wait for 10 years to get to the counter. I spied a rather mousy looking kid whose turn was next.

"Ok..here goes nothing" muttered I.
Money in one hand, chocolate in the other, I marched upto him.

*Bright Million Dollar Smile*
"Hi! I was wondering..could you help me pay for this? I mean it would reeeeallly suck if I had to queue up JUST for a chocolate bar, don't you agree??" Rambled I.
"Uh....I...er..." stammered him.
Uh-oh...I'm losing him, gotta try harder.
*Grin becoming more set, eyes getting a rather crazed look in the them*
"Please?? I would appreciate it ever so much!!"

It was the sort of "Please" that robbers used while saying "Make a sound and I'll blow yer brains out! Hand over the money, please."

And without waiting for his answer, I placed our chocolate bars on top of his pile of books and put the money in his hand. (More like forced it into his tightly fisted hand.)
"Thank you!!"
The poor guy never stood a chance.
I couldn't understand whether he mumbled a "You're welcome" or a "Get away from me, you freakshow!"

Now most of you would think this is no big deal but you MUST understand..this is Singapore, people don't talk to strangers let alone make eye contact with them.
This was the equivalent of a crazy, stinky hobo coming up to you and talking about sex (and then asking you how much money you'd take for one night of puh-leasuuuure. Lecherous grin and all.)

After paying, he shot a petrified look at me, gathered up his books hurriedly and literally ran out of the store.

My friend chuckled and said "I think you scared him!"
"No, I'd like to think I made his day."

Aahh. Ever the eternal (delusional) optimist I am.



Anonymous *arpeeta* did the happy dance and finally said..

hey mahi babes!...i can just soooo imagine you doing that!..hell if i was there u'd probably make me do it for you!..."arpu pleasssssssseeeeee"...i can just hear your voice from here!..haha...but i definately think u scared the poor guy!

8:48 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

arpu - hahaha heeey! i resent that!
actually i guess you're right...i probably WOULD have made u do the dirty work (as usual) heh heh "But arpu! Why do the dirty work, when someone ELSE can do it for u?"

8:55 PM  
Blogger The Box did the happy dance and finally said..

I actually had an image of your crazed look. It IS scary. "Here! Just take the money. TAKE IT!"

12:59 AM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

I tried picturing the crazed look myself...lets just say if i was the boy, i'd give u back the cash(with some interest) nd i pay for the chocs myself!....

But it would make my day though!...its not always one gets this close to a deranged psycho..n a pretty one to boot!...

But alas...I am the eternal (delusional) optimist.

4:00 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

haha...your the same old comical self! Damn..I missed the show!
Hey...I updated my blog by the way...as per the Madame'z request!
Hope her highness enjoys reading the scripts that I so passionately typed keeping her lordship in mind...okay I don't know where I'm going with this..lol..enjoy!

5:35 AM  
Blogger iyer education did the happy dance and finally said..

*trying real hard to think*

ah... so... did you really have to throw your weight around at that kid?

i mean why the poor kiddo?... cudnt you find cute n kind men there who would be more than happy to help you with the bill settlement... actually you could have found some more free chocolates along with the early bill settlement... next time try this out... and you know whom to thank for those extra chocolates :)

*goes back to blank thinking mode*

4:10 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rumpy - *screams* DID U JUST CALL ME FAT?!!?!?!!?
(btw..all the hunky men were at the end of the queue. it would have defeated the purpose of me trying to pay quickly!)

4:55 PM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Way to go! This is a frustratingly high-context culture. L.A.M.E

6:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jups - tell me about it..the western culture is so much more easy going and less anal about this sorta stuff...smile at someone here and they assume that you're plotting to murder them.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Mint Chutney did the happy dance and finally said..

He probably went back and told his friends about the pretty Indian girl who was practically throwing herself on him. : )

8:59 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

minty - *blush* nawwww. he probably told them about the tall psycho girl who looked like she'd kill him if he didnt help her pay.
that's usually what happens
heh heh heh

10:39 PM  

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