These are the Days of Our Lives..

After spending a lot of time watching Zee TV ( a Hindi channel on cable) serials (What? It was was for research), I have come up with a rough guide on what to expect when one sits down to watch ones serial.

1)Affairs, affairs and MORE affairs - Almost every single character has to have an affair with another. And I mean EVERY character. Right from the car driver to the grandma. It's all one big happy sexed up family. The men are the worst. They ALWAYS have one woman on the side. She's usually from his college days. That or, a one- night stand. Oh and she ALWAYS ends up getting pregnant OR lies about being preggers (and then carries on to blackmail the poor sap.). After the serial has gone on to run for about 15 years, and when the producers sense that the audience just might be getting a tad bored..Knock Knock! *gasp* THE BASTARD CHILD HAS ARRIVED TO TAKE REVENGE ON HIS COLD-HEARTED S.O.B DAD!

2) Uh-oh! Caught! - And while we're at affairs, I might as well tell you now that they always get caught. Usually by a private eye producing photos or by someone overhearing the lovebirds whispering sweet nothings to each other. Pfft. Apparently NO ONE can have an extramarital affair in peace these days.

3) Evesdropping - A lot of that goes on in these large extended families. To be fair to the evesdropper, its not his fault, coz freakily enough, all the characters talk to themselves. It makes one wonder if India is filled by weird, lonely people who voice out their diabolical plans/ love stories/ illegitimate child revelations to themselves, at every free moment they have. After the soliloquy is over, the camera will always shift to the door and there will always be someone (usually the mortal enemy of the soliloquy-er) who proceeds to grins eviiiil-y. Eeeeexcellent.

4) Like Two Peas in a Pod - In every single goddamn serial, there has to be the occurence of twins. It's always a case of 1) Good twin- Bad Twin - Where one dies, and the survivor pretends to be the other (this is usually done in order to sleep with his departed twin's wife/girlfriend). Case number 2) involves a character pretending to be 2 people. This plan usually backfires. As do all diabolical plans in the Serial world.

5) Good turns bad - Speaks for itself innit? A character who once pure of heart will slowly start to turn evil as the injustices of the world start to fill his/her heart with blackness. She vows to bring down her oppressor or just about anyone who's been a real MEANIE to her. That'll teach them! When the serial the about to end it's run, he/she has a quick change of heart and suddenly goes back to being good once again. Evil purged aaaand everyone lives happily ever after.

6) Conversations with God - This is much like the aforementioned soliloquy. These divine conversations are usually between the oppressed lady of the house and a God of her choice. Sweetly enough, there are no evesdroppers in such cases, which is a pity for the character, coz all her problems would be solved if someone just happened to overhear how 1) innocent she really was 2) how she was really wronged by so-and-so and 3) how much she really does love him. Sounds kinda whiny if you think about it. Maybe that's why no one bothers to evesdrop.

7) Reoccurence - Just when things seems to be going fine and dandy, along comes a character whom you thought was dead and gone. No, no he didn't die in that car accident! No, no that wasn't his charred body! No siree, he just spent the last 10 years wandering in the jungle, with amnesia (which was miraculously cured by a magic-man who took pity on him and gave him shelter in the woods.) He usually comes back to 1) take revenge on the plotter of his accident or 2) find that his wife/girlfriend has married his evil nemesis/evil twin. All hell breaks loose. I'm addicted baby!



Don'tcha just LOVE it?
=D
Of course, soon enough, these crazy plots start to unravel faster than Courtney Love's mind and start to look as thin as Lindsay Lohan.
But who cares?


As long as I have something to do on a weeknight.
=)