18 November, 2005

Naughty Schoolgirls

Let's talk about Porn, people.

Lets talk about the first time I watched porn.


I was 13 years old. Innocent, carefree..not a care in the world...hence 'carefree'.
Anyway.

So my best friend- lets call her 'Saggy'- and I were at the playground, when our older, more worldly wise friend- lets call her 'PM'- comes upto us and excitedly says "You guys HAVE to come and check out what I found in my brothers cupboard!!!"

So the little curious girls that we were, we went upto PM's house, along with Saggy's little brother and sister. PM said "Uh...I don't think the 2 kids should see this.."
So we went into PM's room and shut the door.
Little did we know, that our impressionable and innocent minds were about to be defiled and corrupted beyond our wildest, filthiest nightmares.
Oh the Horrors that we witnessed.

She pushes a tape in the video player and hits the play button.
We see a guy and a hypermammiferous girl, kissing. Ok...that's fine.. kissing we can handle..the fondling gets a little unnerving but we can handle that too..
Then PM says "No, no you guys need to see this bit.."

Thats when she fast forwards it...
Fast forward.
That little function that makes things go 5 times faster than it normally would.
.
.
.
Needless to say, by the time she wanted us to see the 'good' bit, Saggy was at the door, her hand on the doorknob- frozen.
I was halfway getting off the bed- frozen.
Both of us kept repeating "We can't watch this..we can't watch this.."
Both of us, traumatised beyond words at the fast-paced action we just witnessed.

Saggy's little bro starts knocking from outside "Taggy, Taggy can I come in?!"
Uh. No, sweety. You can't. Ever.
"Why nottttt?"
Uh..coz..uh....we're uh...playing a game.

We left PM's house that day, quiet and glassy-eyed. The images forever seared into our unprepared minds.


The next day, at school, Saggy and I spent the whole day damning carnal pleasures and vociferously proclaiming that we were going to remain virgins for the rest of our lives.

46 Comments:

Blogger Kucing Gatal did the happy dance and finally said..

Once you porn, you can't go back.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

kucing- *looks around* uh...not true.
*kicks her porn stash under her bed*

1:39 PM  
Blogger Kucing Gatal did the happy dance and finally said..

It's true. Like you said, those images are burned in your mind forever ;) In this case, out of sight is not out of mind. Borrow your stash?

1:44 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

*whispers*kucing, yea sure ..just dont tell anyone about the stash yea? i have a reputation to keep.
*loudly* oh GET OUT you! and take yer filthy porn-filled mind with yous :@ and DONT COME BACK!
WHAT is the world COMING to?

1:47 PM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

You bad bad bad girl!

Don't you have exams? Go to your room!

1:53 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

*whiine*
ok, ok ok I'm studying now
*sulks*

1:57 PM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

haha! Funny one.

BuT Mahi, don't your exams start tomorrow?? And here you are writing about porn !!!

Geeez, woman, get back to your books! And put that porn stash under your bed!!!

2:07 PM  
Anonymous exhaustpipe did the happy dance and finally said..

I think a lot of people watch porn when exams are knocking on our door. I guess its a stress buster.

Golden rule of porn : 97% have watched it and the other 3% are lying.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey, I have never watched porn.

Make that 96% have watched it, 2% are lying and 2% has really never watched it!!! And i (along with few others) make up that 2% quota.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Kay Richardson did the happy dance and finally said..

I have NEVER seen another man's penis. EVER.

3:55 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

medha -i cant help it! coz when i think 'studies' i think 'porn' :P
i really think ure one of the few untouched people...may thy mind always remain this clean

exhaust -woah woah woah there! who said anything about watching it WHILE studying?! i aint watching it! im uh studying.. *throws currently playing tape out the window*

kay - *pat pat* of course not honey :P
(not even at tarzan's erotic playhouse?)
good for YOU sweety! but u should know..even IF u have...its okay..we'll still love you.

4:05 PM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Casablanca did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi - And I thought only the guys (aka exhaustpipe and his friends) used this de-stress technique.... tsk tsk :p

Medha - Sistah, I join ya in your 2%!

4:44 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

i look like a porn freak now, dont i?
:(

4:57 PM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

Aww, no you don't!!

Ok, maybe a lil'. :p
*chuckles*

4:58 PM  
Blogger Medha.. did the happy dance and finally said..

Casa, *high-five*

We are the rarest species. =D

5:01 PM  
Blogger MaK-D did the happy dance and finally said..

13 hmmmm....thats a bit late init...heheheh just kidding....
Well i can say during the semester i hardly, sometimes dont watch porn, but exam time i watch alot....i wonder why ....i think i shall consult Freud

8:56 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

i remember being around 8 years old when I watched my first soft-core porn (late night on HBO or Cinemax or something)...lol it was a cheesy adaptation of Cinderella, but as a porno. I remember the wicked stepsisters fucking each other with corncobs....It's a memory that will be forever etched in my mind!!

1:12 AM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

:lol: Exams do remind me of porn; agree completely. Now DON'T ask me why?

And, all the best, btw! :)

1:44 AM  
Blogger Brian Stanley did the happy dance and finally said..

Madame Mahima, your story has troubled me - it reminds me of the time my father told me I had been very bad and pushed me into a cupboard and made me watch some things which weren't right! I felt a little sick after that - I have never looked at uncle Jimmy in the same way since.

1:49 AM  
Blogger aditi did the happy dance and finally said..

lol.. this reminded me of the first time i watched porn... was hilarious... we were a gang of around 9 noisy girls (we must be 14-15) and decided that we reely must, as my friend's parents were out ! so the 2 of us went to this video library.. which i used to frequent a lot then.. as it was nr my place.. i decided not to play a role in choosing the cd.. so there my frd goes.. waving three cd's in the air.. and asking me which one we shld watch.. i jus said .. take anythin.. so we took 2 cd's..the next thing i can remember is.. lots of screechin and squealing... and phrases like "ohhh my goddd...(and stuff i cant say here) " someone peeking from under a blanket and someone from behind the curtain.. :) ill never forget that day! but yaa.. we switched off the player in 20 mins.. and dint watch the other cd..

2:17 AM  
Blogger Menagerie did the happy dance and finally said..

Memory of watching porn for the first time is like that of the first time you kissed, never to be forgotten......:)

5:16 AM  
Blogger Surya Swamy did the happy dance and finally said..

Any normal human has their first porn encounter imprinted in their memory, for life. Mine is all round funny but alas I'm not sure how I feel about sharing it with the rest of the world. Maybe over msn sometime. And infact you prolly know a couple of those involved. It was like mass education, hillarious. Over msn.

5:24 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

mayank - this is highly disturbing..i didnt ask you for your porn watching habits...you just gave out that info quite quite freely :P and of COURSE you'd consult freud, considering the fact that EVERYTHING u two talk about has something to do with sex.

dawn - oh my god...you poor thing!! i wasnt ready for it when i saw it at 13..i cant imagine the trauma u went through when you were 8!...i bet you'll NEVER think about cinderella the same way now :P

couchie- WOAHHH there you're THIS close to pulling a 'mayank' :P hahaha thank u sir! now just pray i dont start visualising stuff while doing my social psych paper!!!!

brian - :O come here u poor, sweet, handsome thing! let me give you a hug! there there..and dont stay with uncle jimmy alone, in the same room ok?

aditi - u switched it off after 20 minutes?!!?!? 20 minutes is ALL YOU NEED!! and you CLAIM you didnt watch the other cd ;)

menagerie - so so true..ahh memories!

surya - HAHA! i heard about this one ;) my sources told me alllll about it =D

10:49 AM  
Blogger The Box did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi babe, you've only inspired a new post for me. I can't get the whole image of those porn stars moving super fast. Too funny!

12:11 PM  
Anonymous beentheredonethat did the happy dance and finally said..

i don't understand what all this fuss is about really.

and MM did you know you're often nauseatingly patronising?

2:48 PM  
Blogger Mayank did the happy dance and finally said..

(disclaimer: comments made by me are kinda bold for someone not a regular at this blog.)

Firstly must commend you on your hilarious post which jogged back memories from the more innocent years of our lives.

Mahima: OMG girl.. you got ur porn timings all cut out eh .. "20 minutes is ALL YOU NEED".

Menagerie and mahima: in a sick sense, what u guys say abt the first kiss and first porn experience might be true... but need they be compared? hmm .. lets see..
"OMG.. thye forgot to wear their clothes" experience vs "Why is the person trying to shove their tongue into my mouth" experience... oooh they are close to comparison indeed.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

box - hehe thank u *takes a bow*..and those fast moving images werent funny..the word is 'TRAUMATISING'!

beentheredonewhat - yes i did know that. point? if u find me so 'nauseating patronising', why are u still reading? better still, why bother telling me? its not like im gonna change the content of this blog JUST for you. u DID realise that, didnt you daisy?
jeez. make up your mind. am i horribly nauseating or JUST nauseating enough to make you come back for more?

mayank - see! thats what I said! haha but thank u anyway..i'm sure this story touched people...(not that id wanna know where...but still..)

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahima writes pornographic stories. A lil sandwich action?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

4:58 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

anonymous aka HANITA - THAT WAS BETWEEN U ME NISHA AND NAIDU!!!!!SSSHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

5:12 PM  
Blogger Docs Dope did the happy dance and finally said..

ahhhh what a story...Three 13-yr-old school girls in pig tails and short skirts watching porn the first time..ahhh

eagerly awaiting the second part when things get more intense ;-)

1:53 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

whats up doc? :P welcome! actually it was more like short hair and long skirts :P hehe thanks for visiting!

10:11 AM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahima ~ 13. wow. My first time was when i was older, and I'M A BOY :P

I know this is supposed to be just a comment, but anywhere, here's a little story.

My first time was when the net first came to India. A little before that actually. Me and susuboy, whose dad was a brigadier, went to the army internet centre, where the net came before anywhere else. We got the `bhaiiya' (yes, in full combat uniform) manning the centre to shut the door, and we looked at www.hotsex.com. Yes i remember the address. (first time, rememeber?)Together. Me, susu, and combatguy.

Anyway, the soldier wasn't a very fast typer, so we managed to see the password. We went home to the 28.8 modem, where it takes like 5 mins to download 1 pic.

The rest as they say, is history.

the muck up with porn on your home comp is, your parents keep finding it. Once, by MISTAKE, some dirty pic got set to show instead of the windows image when 98 starts up :P

Anyway, the bhaiyya wasn't a very

4:34 PM  
Blogger Yours Truly...Conman did the happy dance and finally said..

I think porn is really overrated. It's not such a big deal. It's just recreation.
Basically... when u jerk off, it's at times much easier to watch porn and do it rather than stressing urself to imagine stuff... get my point?
Thats it... where I come from... we get free 24 hour porn on our cable.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

4wd - haha your poor parents!!what an experience it mustve been for them to see that pic on the start up :P

conman - got the point loud and clear :P
how come theres a 24 hour porn channel on cable?? i though the authorities in qatar would be absolutely against allowing it??

6:03 PM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

well my dad's pretty computer unfriendly. But my mom used it for work. So the first time it happened, i happened to be around... she went.. ``ooh what's that, its... oh ... my god!!''

I just said... ``er, its the virus again!''

she said she believed me.

-4

7:40 PM  
Blogger Robert A. Swipe did the happy dance and finally said..

Mah,

There is only one woman in the whole dang world more beautiful than your good self.

I don't know how you do it....



Love on ya,


Bob

p.s. Nice blog, but what IS porn?

12:16 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

4 - haha ahh yer poor innocent innocent sweet mum :P

rob - allo there mate! thanks for stopping by.. i do have to admit something..i stopped by your blog..and i just.didnt.getit.

*swoosh* it flew right over my head.
and there are not many things that i usually dont get, but your blog is one of em..nice pix tho! =D

12:31 AM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

rob~ what is porn?????? er... whats a 3-star Metaxa?

5:18 AM  
Blogger AJ did the happy dance and finally said..

Oh My Mahi! You make me blush! Funny enough tho considering I have seen tranny porn, animal porn and worst of all straight porn (we need to know whats going on in the world today)

11:46 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Aww Mahi!!! You got your first dose of porn at the tender age of 13!! hehe....Mine was much later...yeah, my parent's had me on lockdown...but, nonetheless, my prying attitude toward acquiring that sort of 'knowledge' ended up hideously traumatizing, and equally embarrassing! So just wanted to say that I feel you on that one, girlfriend!

12:54 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

4 - what IS a 3star metaxa :S

aj - woahhh hardcore! you've been extremely curious havent u ;);)

surbz - haha omggg your parents found out?!!? how!?! i think thats even more traumatising than someone surprising u with porn! hahaha

2:04 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

oh my god.. lol i wont even TELL when i first saw it...aaaaaaaaaakkk!!!

i was older than 13 and thats all i shall say! lol

5:30 PM  
Blogger Robert A. Swipe did the happy dance and finally said..

Madam M

Go on, give it another go - it gets easier with practice (as the actress said to the Bishop...) Just think of it as a challenge...

...or just look at the pictures, like I do.


Love on ya (ya gorgeous hunk of feminine wowsyness!!)



Bob

6:05 PM  
Blogger Robert A. Swipe did the happy dance and finally said..

Metaxa = Greek version of Brandy.

Comes star rated (1-7) acc. to quality.

7 is the REAALLY good stuff. The others are a good alternative to fossil fuels.


Enjoy,


Bob

6:07 PM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi...too embaressed to share that sort of info with the entire jing bang!! Shall impart that info on msn...or tete a tete!

9:00 AM  

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