08 December, 2005

Where have all the Cowboys gone?

Okay, quick pop quiz -

What do you get when you have
1) A Girl-Woman
2) Too much free time
3) Too many chick lit novels

Answer: A girl-woman (who should be reading more intellectual stuff) who starts fantasizing about her love life (er...well..more like 'imaginary' love life) and whose head is swimming with all sorts of crazy romantic notions (and all that poppycock).

Sorry..guys reading this- you really won't enjoy this post..unless you have a burning curiosity about the female psyche.

Okay we're all waiting for that one guy who'll come along when we least expect it..y'know drop dead gorgeous, funny, sexy, smart, 'butterflies-in-tummy' inducing, rich (ok this isn't a must but it would be the icing with a cherry on the hunky cake..Mmm icing..cherry....hunk...)
Where was I?

Ah yes...Men.

We've seen 'em all haven't we, ladies (and some men)?

There's the bad boy, the one our mothers warned us about. The one our fathers would love to aim a shotgun at. You know it, the minute you lay eyes on him..everything about him screams 'BAD IDEA!!!'. The one that makes your heart literally skip a beat, even while you pretend that you couldn't give a flying rats ass about him coz theres no way he'd ever go for you...or would he? The one that always goes away. The one you won't forget even though it was a blessing you two never got together.

There's the sort you lust after for years, deluding yourself that every gesture, every word, every glance has a hidden meaning..only to find that..well..it doesn't.
And you think "Boy did I waste a shitload of time on that!" And it dawns upon you, that you spent way too much time moulding yourself to him and his world.

You dream about the nice guy who'll adore you, lavish you with love. He come along alright, only problem is you can't imagine yourself getting romantic with him...AT ALL. He's got about as much sex appeal as your *insert-male-relative-title-here*. No way, Jose.

Then theres always the cringeworthy 'mistake'. The one that makes you wanna scream "Your Honour, I plead temporary insanity!"..that or "Aye Caramba! What was I thinking?!"

So you're at a club, dancing to your hearts glory when a confident young man walks upto you and whispers "You're beautiful."
Short, sweet and ok maybe the delivery was a little cheesey. But something nags at you at the back of your head the minute you lay eyes on him. Something doesn't sit quite right.
You chat for a bit, exchange numbers, talk on the phone..and he says a couple of things that get your 'Jackass-Bullshitter' alert up and running. 50 ignored phonecalls later, he gets the hint..and so do you- Trust your instinct.

And then along comes the guy who seems to have everything you've wanted...until you wake up one, fine day and you realise that not only have you ended up mothering him but he's got a terribly annoying habit or two..or ten. You rub your eyes and go "Hmm..why didn't I spot that before? It annoys the bejeezus outta me." And slowly and delicately try to extricate yourself from the mess, whilst trying very hard to cause minimal damage to his delicate psyche.
(All the aforementioned 'types' may or may not be entirely fictitious)
Okay so what are we left with then?
A very depressing scene.

What I'm wondering is where the HELL have all the cowboys gone?

So this makes me wonder if the right guy out there really exists. Or do we just settle down and resign ourselves to the fact that we will forever have to live with a compromise.
The compromise of settling with 'second-best'.
The compromise of ending up with someone, when all along you know (or realise..or hope) that there is someone better, out there.
(You must realise I don't mean to talk down..when I speak of second best, its merely in terms of what suits our respective personalities the best. No ones better than anyone else and blah blah blah.)

Damn these chick lit novels.
Damn them for putting these disturbing thoughts into my fluffball brain!

-Mahi shakes a fist at the two novels-

In other news, I visited a club last night and I just HAD to tell you about this girl I saw.
She and her friend were the only ones on the dancefloor, and get this - she was literally screwing the floor.
I don't even know how thats possible but there she was- Doing it!
I don't mean to sound like a prude, but couldn't she get herself a room?

Or a pimp?


Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

awww....what? no pics of floor humper? what a shame! ;) I remember a guy who brought a chair out to the dancefloor and started grinding with it. For the rest of the night we called him 'chairhumper'. actually we saw him a couple of months later adn remembered him and REMINDED him of his chair humping escapades and he was embarassed as HELL!

12:46 AM  
Blogger surbhi seth did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahi Mahi...You want a Clint Eastwood? Well, all I can say about "the perfect guy" is....I'm not really sure he exists! He sure does linger around in our dreams...but here in reality..haven't quite seen any!
The 'may-or-may-not-be-ficticious' characters that you mentioned...sound more realistic on the other hand. Depressing indeed, but realistic! All I can say is...have no expectations...it's a real world!
PS: How did the guys respond to that attention-hungry, floor-screwing, lame-sounding girl!?!

2:09 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia did the happy dance and finally said..

Hey, you are young, there is tons of time and yes, the right guy is out there! I've been there and done that and seen all the dogs I wanna see... or not... I mean who wants to see them? I digress.

But when I least expected it, at the worse moment in my life, at my darkest hour, HE fell in love with me and I with him and it has been an amazing rollercoaster ride since and this fall, 8 years later, still am as crazy about him as in the beginning, if not more.

The secret? Stay true to yourself, don't settle, live life according to your rules, follow your heart and all will fall into place. And hey, ENJOY being single and LIVE IT UP! That too is great while it lasts!

3:52 AM  
Anonymous Rajesh did the happy dance and finally said..

Miz bohemia hit the nail right on the head there...There are no perfect people, just people who are perfect in our eyes cos they make it all seem worthwhile...at least I seriously hope so, if not, I've been spending the last 15yrs of my life deluding myself.

as for the 'may-or-may-not-be-fictitious' characters that you mentioned, I might not describe them exactly the way you did but I think most guys can relate to what you mean, I know i can, with at least 2 of em...

7:46 AM  
Blogger Kucing Gatal did the happy dance and finally said..

The perfect man exists only in our imagination. However, parts of him do exist, unfortunately residing in different bodies. So unless you're into polygamy, and legal issues notwithstanding, you're always going to have to settle for second best.

Sad, isn't it?

I propose a 'Burn Chick Lit Day'.

12:23 PM  
Blogger IdeaSmith did the happy dance and finally said..

Yeah Mahi, I absolutely lurrve you for this post. You echo my thoughts. My best friend and I were having a conversation yesterday and one of us (i won't say which one!!) said "Well, at least we learnt...experience is a good teacher" And the other one retorted "Yes, but who wants to learn a lesson like that???"


6:44 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dawn - I WISH i had bought a camera along with me..it was gross but strangely interesting too. i've never quite seen anyone do that sorta thing before :S it flummoxed me!

surbhi - the guys mentioned before? they ARE real. VERY real (unfortunately!). i can't WAIT to see who i'm gonna end up with, 5 years frm now.
well..waddaya expect the guys LOVED the girl!

miz - thats amazing...give the yummydaddy a pat on the back from me =D you're very very lucky mizzy (touchwood)..well..after all the 'accidents' we've met with, the only thing we CAN do is be ourselves (and hope that someone likes what he sees!)

rajesh - true i agree. the concept of 'perfection' is a very subjective one. thats why i said that when i talk of the 'winner' and 'runner up' its just in terms of who we can get along best with.

kucing- ahh i dunno ..i'm definitely not into polygamy but i reckon that there's someone perfectly imperfect, like me, for me out there..so i'll wait =)

smithy- ah well i always feel that some lesson learnt is way better than no lesson learnt! we always walk away from it with that much more wisdom!

7:38 PM  
Blogger kasewa did the happy dance and finally said..

you girls have spent too much time looking... in all the wrong places

i'm here. i'm RIGHT HERE

Aw come on women! can't you just SEE the perfection?? it's glowing brightly right across the whole universe right now, and i'm BANG(ing) in the centre of it!

H2G2 rocks... I think I owe it to Douggie to show me how truly important I am

So, eM daahlin; when you ever decide to open your eyes to the truth, i'll be standing right in fronta you

love u lots

2:19 AM  
Blogger kasewa did the happy dance and finally said..

P.S.: Thanks for inspiration for next post. Shall be up as soon as I'm not lazy enough to write it.

2:20 AM  
Blogger 4WD did the happy dance and finally said..

A couboy can be all of the above, you know. And he'd smell like a cow. And he'd say things like, ``giddy yap, hossy''. Who'd want to go out with someone that says ``giddy yap''?

You should find a Ninja.

I'm telling you. They're masters of disguise and impersonation and disguise. So they can be anyone you want them to be.

And they always cover their faces with a black cloth, so they probably look good.

And they can do things like hang from trees for hours.

Imagine the pose value.

You can have girlie-locker-room conversations like this :
Leena : My boyfriend is so cool, he drives a race car. He's going to be in the A1 grand prix, and he's only 11!!!!
Meena : Hmmph. Big shit. My boyfriend is a cowboy. He can stay on a bucking bronco for 9 seconds. And he's married four times. Not divorced ever.
Peena : so what? My boyfriend's an con-man. He said he's going to come back and get me, and double the money i borrowed from my brother in law with a 100 per cent interest.
You : hee heee giggle giggle! Mine is a ninja. He can be all of the above. And he can act like a rose bush and throw shurikens (poison tipped, even) and kill samurai and hang from a tree for hours!!!

see. I told you.

4:12 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

now i'm scared..i've inspired kasewa...what have i done....i'm pretty sure this is going to be either porn-related or someone-getting-naked-related
'when you ever decide to open your eyes to the truth, i'll be standing right in fronta you'

4wd - you need to stay OFF the caffeine.
i repeat : 'OFF the caffeine'
and no more comics for u.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar did the happy dance and finally said..

That's quite a list you seem to have run down :), lets see would someone walking up to you and singing (or cooing) do it for you?
'You're beautiful,you're beautiful, it's true,
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do'

Btw the cowboys went out of flavor just like the westerns ;)

12:58 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rohan - i would probably just laugh and laugh and LAUGH if some guy did that!
BUT if the guy is cute, likes me dog and is an all round nice guy, then i'd probably stay back and listen :P

3:10 PM  
Blogger Me did the happy dance and finally said..

Women are confused. They REALLY don't know what they want. I'm the perfect guy for a whole lotta women... maybe thats why I'm toying with the idea of turning gay...

5:40 PM  
Blogger Me did the happy dance and finally said..

Hmm.. or mebbe I'm just overdosed on chocolate right now... I forget which...

6:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

you - welcome...we're not confused sir..we may not know what we want, but we sure as hell know what we DON'T want.
and thats a start!

and there's no such thing as overdosing on chocolate. there's only chocolate and no chocolate :P

6:28 PM  
Blogger Me did the happy dance and finally said..

A chocolate a day, may not keep anyone away... but, heck.. with a chocolate a day, who NEEDS anybody ?? Now, I must go and be impressed with myself and wonder how I manage to come up with these terribly witty one liners. Hmm... I guess I'm more like Arnie than I thought... I'll be back!!

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

good post

3:43 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl did the happy dance and finally said..

hmm.. no.. there is no perfect guy..but someone who is perfect for You.

from what ive experienced...ive fallen for the wrong guys repeatedly..they come disguised in so much icing.. its so hard to accept the truth when you bite into it finally....sometimes..life has repeatedly flung me backwards and i have to start over...a little more dead...but wiser...

ive learnt to not hunt...ive learnt to wait but not sit and do nothing...
and along came A...

Mahi...you will get the man who has been prepared for You and only You..you will..

just not in the package that you imagine him to be in.


5:03 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

thanks anon

grafx - thanks babe *hug* i know you're right...im just impatient sometimes haha but i AM learning the fine art of patience!
have u met A yet??how is he?!?!?!

7:27 PM  

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