06 July, 2005

One - Baller.

'Tis with a heavy heart I write this.

I took Kelso to the vet, for his annual shot, a couple of days back. The lady was feeling his tummy and further down 'south', when suddenly she looks at me and says:
"Oh he needs to be castrated!"

I'm like ............


I'm sure all of you know how much I love my dog, and how I think of him as a child.
My little baby boy has only one testicle.
Yes, only one.
The other didn't er..'drop'.

Stop laughing. I demand that you stop laughing RIGHT now.


At the back of my mind, the spirits of my Indian, female ancestors were mourning and thumping their bosoms and wailing about the tragedy that had befallen their little prince. Some even cried about how he must have sinned in his previous life. But I told them to be quiet. Yes, the voices in my head are very much under control, thank you.

Castrated?! Jeez..what a way to break the bad news.
Cow.

You know..I can't help feeling that maybe I did something wrong..that maybe it was somehow my fault.
Maybe I hugged him too hard..
Maybe something got damaged when I dropped him...
Maybe its the food I'm giving him..
Maybe he has to pay for the sins of my past...

Ok, ok i have to stop...as you can see, I'm rather distraught by this whole affair..
Please pray that Kelso's surgery (when I do make an appointment for one, later on) goes smoothly.

I love him..and I hope you do too, regardless.
My brother now affectionately calls him 'One-Baller'.
He is loved..even more so, now.

(If any of you have thought unkind thoughts about my dog, whilst reading this entry, I hope a ball of yours drops off. For the Ladies, may something else drop off.)

***

Ok, so I got a lot of comments (ok ok FINE about 3) in my previous post, about how I should have a party at my place, now that it's parents-free.
So I decided to be a sport, and volunteer my place for a small dinner.

Bad Idea.

In 2 hours, I had chicken curry on the floor, Coke on the floor, glasses on the floor, paper and tissue on the floor (dont even ask me HOW it got on the floor), dog trying to pick up all this shit from the floor...the place was in a bit of a mess. And things weren't helped by the fact that I was having a bad hair day (That seems to be happening a lot these days.)

Do you NEED ANY MORE CONVINCING AS TO WHY I HATE HAVING PARTIES AT HOME?!!?!?!?!?!

Now don't.you.ever.DARE.ask.me.to.host.ANYTHING.at.my.place.

(Unless it's a surprise party for me, in which case I won't have to clean up afterwards.)


Thank you.

20 Comments:

Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

Don't think of it as your dog losing a testicle. Think of it as you gaining a post.

-pats your semi-male dog-

7:36 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

thanks jay :(
poor kelso..
*runs to give a rather bewildered kelso a kiss and a hug*

8:05 PM  
Blogger Surya Swamy did the happy dance and finally said..

what kind of dog is he? In Turkey before a child gets castrated they perform a whole ceremony where he gets dressed up in the finest of clothes, minutes before he is made to scream in pain, all in the name of appeasing the good lord. There is always room for optimism. Use your imagination. I trust you to come up with something creative:)

10:05 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

surya dont be mean :@
didnt you read my warning??!
(If any of you have thought unkind thoughts about my dog, whilst reading this entry, I hope a ball of yours drops off..

now..do you REALLY want to take that kind of a chance?
you have been warned...
grr.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous the girl whom u stole the swing from did the happy dance and finally said..

yeah be optimistic. at least he has ONE ball. could you imagine if he had none, would have just confirmed my suspicions..ok bye ms. i-hv-parties-without-u.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Indian Stallion did the happy dance and finally said..

My dog has the same condition. One testicle didnt descend.

1:35 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

prema - oh shutup. enough of the gay dog jokes.

bert - so what happened? did u get him operated?

10:40 AM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

ahh poor little tesco.
dont be too hard on yourself mahi. We all knew you were a 'ball-breaker', and now you have just confirmed it. :p

just kidding...all the best with your dog...im sure he'll be fine.

10:56 AM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Bad Mahima, very bad! Kelso is not happy that you have been blogging this.

Poor thing has one testicle, needs to be castrated and you are blogging about it. Tut Tut! And you say you love him? Would you have done this to your boyfriend? Your husband?

Bad Mahima, very bad! Kelso is angry!

On a serious note, castrating dogs is a common practice many a place. No worry. I am sure the operation will go well.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dev - ball breaker your ASS.u watch out in 5 days ull find out about ball breaking :@

apoorva - oh shutup u! i just needed some sympathy and well wishes
*sniff* why are my motives always questioned.
thanks mate..i hope so too..
*runs to give kelso another hug*

11:26 AM  
Blogger SoNyA did the happy dance and finally said..

man even dog hater me feels sorry for him... *hugz*

2:21 PM  
Blogger Princess Cheryl did the happy dance and finally said..

oh my poor kelso..

2:26 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

sonya and cheryl -thank u for ure sympathy...*waves hands furiously in front of face* sorry...im just getting a bit emotional here...

3:45 PM  
Blogger Indian Stallion did the happy dance and finally said..

Nope didn't. He seems ok so far.

8:06 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:14 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

poor one-baller!!

tell him not too feel too bad...my cat doesn't even have THAT MANY balls!

8:00 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

bert - i dont know...the vet said the undescended one might turn cancerous...so..thats whats getting me jittery..

potato - :O u put up anands number on the WEB! now he knows who to blame when he starts getting prank calls :P umm anand..a headache just warrants a panadol..nice try tho :D

dawn - :O ure cat has no balls?!?(this is the male one we're talking about right?) oh kelso's going about his daily routine..poor kid doesnt even know..i tried explaining but i guess hes too young (or too dog to getit:P)

9:22 AM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

Just started growing brains. Deleted the comment!

5:57 PM  
Blogger Drops Of Jupiter did the happy dance and finally said..

Aiyyo.. so sad... Did u watch that episode of "sex and the city" where steve had to lose one ball? Aww..i feel bad for ur lil fellow..
PS-named him after Michael Kelso in That 70s show?

6:36 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

couch - haha good choice! anand should thank me..i singlehandedly saved him from pranksters :P no thanks to you!!

jups - noo i havent watched a single ep of 'sex..' i dont have HBO...hehe yea i did name him after michael kelso..it was either 'kelso' or 'fez' but he's faaaar too handsome to be a 'fez'..=D

6:53 PM  

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