03 July, 2005

Stupid kids with B.O and Cockroach Girl.

My friends Rishi and Nirav took part in a dance competition this afternoon. We obviously wanted to go and support them.
I was TOLD it was in Zouk (Singapore's hottest nightspot)

I was told wrong.
But we'll get back to that later.

So I thought that Zouk being Zouk, would be visited by lots of hot, young, hot-thangs...even in the afternoon..
I mean Zouk is Zouk, after all.
So after spending a copious amount of time doing my hair (wash, condition, leave-in-serum- blow dry, style), choosing the right outfit (one thats casual enough for the noon but still funky enough for Zouk), doing my make up juuuust right, wearing my heels (the ones that make my legs looks ni-i-i-i-ce)...*phew*that took a good 5 hours. Ha..kidding..it took 2.

So my girlfriends and I left for Zouk..and somewhere along the way we realised the event was being held in the Zouk open-air carpark.

Me : Oh bloody hell. It's going to be like an oven there...oh never mind...i can console myself with the fact that there will still be hot people around .
Boy, was I right about that.
So right it makes me wanna SCREAM.

So I sashay there with my heels and funky sunglasses..and i realised things were taking a horribly wrong turn when I noticed that the area was SWAMPED with sweaty...........kids.

Yes, kids.

HOT, SWEATY, STINKY, NOISY, RUDE KIDS.

So me, Arpu and Roohi are standing there, blinking rather stupidly, mouth agape at the scene ahead of us - a huge carpark FILLED with kids in P.E uniforms and a few teachers wearing shorts that no one above 21 should be wearing. Apparently, this event was called "The Milk Run" which was odd coz it looked like the kids had just ran, but there was no milk in sight. I also didnt get why there was a music/dance competition at "The Milk Run".There were loads of 'port-a-potties' around tho.

Of course I was annoyed.
I was annoyed coz here I was with my heels, standing on gravel. My lotus-like feet were getting stepped on by stupid brats ("Stupid kid! Don't know how to say sorry huh!?" yells Mahi, to a kid who's already zoomed off, leaving her in a puff of dust and chipped nailpolish.)
I was annoyed coz here I was looking not-too-bad, and the only people who were gonna see this were pre-pubescent boys who had just begun to show the faintest signs of a moustache and who STINK (STANK?). (Can someone PLEASE educate people on the benefits of deoderant. I was ready to pass out with god-awful smell.)
I was annoyed coz I spent ages doing my hair and now it just looked like it was fast becoming an afro (ok im exagerrating..but you must understand..Im very very touchy about my hair..)
I was annoyed coz the bands that were playing there were utter crap.

It was so bad that whilst they were playing, I was uncharacteristically silent. My friends thought it was probably coz I liked the din. But I was having a silent conversation with myself..trading bitchy comments about the crap bands, back and forth..back and forth...in the heat..crazy, shitty beats reverbrating through my body... drummer sucks..rastafarian needs to take a bath..lead singer is off key but who cares...why is that kid staring at my chest....the people here look mad..too hot..hot...need a drink..always Coca-Cola..need coke..

Until someone snapped me out of my 'reverie'

Yay! Their dance was coming up!
Dance begins...they rock!
Except for this one girl in their group who looked like she was trying not to shit. Or maybe trying to shit. I dont know..either way, I was entranced by her odd, sorta maniacal facial expressions and constipated/diarrhetic dance steps.
Very entertaining. Im not kidding..it was..it made me laugh, despite the heat..it made me laugh crazily. But I must say, I was proud of my boys..they did good.

This is what I overheard, whilst we were sitting around, after the performance-

Girl (to Nirav's friend): Do you eat meat?
Nirav: This ass will eat anything that moves.
Girl (in all seriousness): Ok will you eat a cockroach????

*stunned silence...Nirav and I exchange glances*
Nirav & Mahi : HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Girl: What?? (then proceeds to delightedly EXPLAIN her 'witty' statement)

I walked away coz I was laughing too hard..
You know the kind of laugh that says- "I'm laughing AT you, you idiot...not WITH you!"

Sigh. The things I've seen..The things I've heard.
I sometimes don't know whether to laugh or to cry and slap the person.

Know what I mean?

***
On a different note, my parents have gone to India for a week, for my cousins wedding.
I actually miss mum's irrelevant comments and nagging at the most inappropriate of times..
I miss dad's sarcastic comments about my flight's of fancy.

Come baaaaaack!

15 Comments:

Anonymous praz's biggest fan did the happy dance and finally said..

this is the time to lock kelso in some place where he wont smell people's crotches, and have a party mahima, a party!! make praz proud with your hospitality skills!

8:07 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

shutup prema.

8:49 PM  
Anonymous roohi did the happy dance and finally said..

i agree with prema...cmon man..lets have a party!!!!!u are leaving for 12 days soon!

8:54 PM  
Blogger Princess Cheryl did the happy dance and finally said..

Dammit mahi..u nvr fail to make me burst out laughing wit ya entries!!i shld have known better than to read yr blog in the damn LIBRARY..

1:39 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

roohi - no party! i dont want my house in a mess...coz GUESS WHO HAS TO CLEAN UP AFTER! :p

cheryl - hahaha thanks babe! i love it when people laugh (preferably WITH me, not AT me...but if that does it for you..then no problem ;D)

8:09 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

Yeah, agree with Cheryl. Your entries make me LAUGH my wits out, Mahima! :lol:

9:02 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

How old are Nirav and Rishi?

And yea, have a party. Its an unsaid rule. Parents out, party in!

7:06 AM  
Anonymous ds77 did the happy dance and finally said..

tsk tsk mahi - dressing up for little boys...i bet u just hated it when they stepped all over your funky shoes...
At least you now have the house to yourself...you gotta have a party mate! use paper cups if ur worried about a mess

8:25 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

couch potato - thanks couchie :D i only wish i was this entertaining in real life..ohh who am i kidding..im a star..in real life too :D

apoorva - rishi and nirav are my age - 21...the competition mostly had people our age, but hell i was more interested in the audience! NO party..i hate cleaning up afterwards, dont you??

dev - i wanted to KILL someone, everytime i got my foot stepped on.
haha im ALREADY using paper crockery for everything..me?and washing up?HA! no chance!=D

10:48 AM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

So did your friends win or not?

I had a (very) gay friend who went to a straight bar one night, where an informal amateur striptease competition was being held. With very little coaxing (read: none) he took part and gyrated, swivelled and stripped his way to an overwhelming victory, beating all the straight boys and girls.

All in a day's work for him, but apparently the bar was pretty much struck dumb.

9:11 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jay - no kidding! i can so imagine the look on everyones face...well at least that must have been a treat for the audience (im hoping)
sadly the same cant be said for us that day..
we were, like, in kiddie body odour hell.

11:30 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

sounds eerily like my Sunday last weekend!! we went to a benefit. I THOUGHT it was indoors. WRONG! I wore jeans and heels and it was outdoors and 90 degrees!! oops! oh! and it was on a HILL. and you had to climb down the hill and walk across the street for a beer. It was like...work.

12:09 AM  
Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock did the happy dance and finally said..

(resisting the temptation to go "Mahi ve")
Thanks to Jay, I've found another chick-with-attitude. Like.

BO - a pet hate. I empathise with you. AND in the heat. You should have left.

As for all these exhortations to party, don't dream of it. Parties should always be at OPP (Other People's Pads). Not just the cleaning up, if it's at my place, I end up tending bar and missing all the fun.

J.A.P.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dawn - i SO feel your pain. walking up/down a hill, stnading on gravel...all things one MUST NOT do in heels (in case anyone had doubts haha). it STINKS doesnt it. blah.. my (lotus-like)feet needed such gentle caring afterwards..

j.a.p - thanks jap! (can i call u jap?) i couldnt leave tho..i mean i did go all the way to support my friends..so i guess all i could do was grin and bear it (except i wasnt grinning much...at all.)..and believe me..i agree with parties at OPP..let THEM agonize over the mess. me..ill just be at the bar.
heh heh

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

oh man. that cockroach girl. u can call her ONIONS also.. haha.. oh oopss... did i give it away.. well, who cares.
anyway, i think the dance was gd despite the inclusion of some constipated performers.. wat say mahi.. n me.. the star of the show.. i cant believe u din give me any special mention.

1:59 PM  

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