28 June, 2005

Under-The-Ass *say in extremely nasal voice*

So, the plan was this:
Rishi, Nirav, Arpeeta and I were to go over to Roohi's for some lunch and a movie(courtesy of Rishi's aunt).
The movie here was a Hindi one, cheesily titled 'Kya Kool Hai Hum' [ Literally translated it means 'How Kool Are We'............i know....i know.]

Now, I'm not a big fan of hindi movies..but hell, every once in a while, you just NEED to watch a brainless, raunchy, flop hindi movie..just so you're reminded of how smart you really are.

Anyway, Rishi picks me up in a cab (he bought rolls too..the fried ones filled with cabbage,carrot tofu and some light seasoning), and from there we proceed to pick up Nirav and Arpeeta.

So I'm in the cab with Rishi and I start to read the summary of the movie, behind the flimsy plastic cover (yea it was pirated..sue me.). In no time, we arrive at Nirav's..so i scoot over..and as I scoot over, I bend the cover by mistake
Ok so i FOLD it in half.

So I look around, hoping no one saw that and I'm thinking "Oh my GOD...I think I just broke his dvd..."
"Waitaminute..why did it fold so easily? Why didn't I hear the sickening crunch that normally accompanies a dvds breakage?"

So I open the cover, and to my shock (and relief) i dont see no DVD inside!
Me : Rishi! You idiot! You forgot to put the DVD in its cover!!
Rishi: Ohhhh shit...how could I forget??This isnt like me...
(He tells the cabbie to go back to his place)

Me: Rishi, I must tell you..I'm rather disappointed in you,man. I mean if I did something like
this, it wouldnt be so bad because I'm expected to screw up..but you? The fact that you could do something so stupid, is just plain...disappointing! I don't know what to say.
Rishi looks crestfallen
Nirav: You screw-up. Now you're just as bad as Mahima...and she's the biggest screw up around.
Rishi: Oh shiiit...

So we reach Rishi's..he rushes up to his place..turns his whole house upside down hunting for the DVD.
Meanwhile Nirav and I are in the cab..wondering where it could be..
Me: Man I cant believe him..what a jackass. Want a roll?
Nirav: Ok!

So we sit there, thoughfully munching on our roll (ok FINE..3 rolls.)..Nirav get out of the cab to see if the dvd might have fallen. Im sitting, wondering where it could have disappeared to.
The cabbie is quietly sitting and gloating about how much we'll have to pay him once this is over.

Rishi's back..with no dvd in hand.
He looks absolutely heartbroken.
We pick up Arpu and tell her the bad news..
Arpeeta: wtf?!?

So by now I'm feeling kinda sorry for the chap..so I tell him "Rishi, its ok..it happens to the best of us ...dont be so hard on yourself...no worries..so we'll watch another movie! Take it easy.."
Rishi just sits there and looks helpessly out of the window "But..how....i thought..."
Me: Ahh dont think anymore..whats done is done..so you screwed up. BIG time. It's fine..our afternoon isnt THAT ruined."

So we finally reach Roohi's..so Nirav and I get out first..Arpu and Rishi are settling the fare..when suddenly I hear a gutteral (and sorta effeminate) scream from inside the cab.
Rishi : ArrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwhaaattheeeeeeeeehellllllMAHIIIIIIIIMAAAAAA
Me: Uh-oh.

And I bend to look inside...and he's sitting there..livid and trembling and pointing to the spot where i was sitting..
And that's when my blood turned kinda cold.

The dvd had been under my ass.
All.This.While.

Rishi: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUT!

I would have been deeply embarassed and shameful...........


Had I not been laughing so hard.
(And running for my life, from the murderous hands of Rishi, Nirav and Arpeeta)

=D



PS- The movie was surprisingly fun to watch!

26 Comments:

Blogger StagedSeven did the happy dance and finally said..

sigh, see what convents churn out?

6:42 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

haha we turn out fine...
im just a little off at times..
hey everyone has their bad days aiiight.

7:23 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

:lol:
That was hilarious!
I'm surprised you didn't break the dvd even after sitting on it!!!!

7:25 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

potato, no ones as surprised as i am (well..apart from rishi and nirav)! they even wondered if it would work after being subjected to such fantASStic treatment..but voila! the print was excellent! :P

8:23 PM  
Anonymous arpeeta did the happy dance and finally said..

mahi i will never forget this day...it was just toooo hilarious!...i havent laughed so much in such a long time....i do feel kind of sorry for rishi though...haha..the torture we put him through!....
and i still cant believe u couldnt feel it UNDer ure ass the whole time...GENIUS!

9:06 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Ha ha... hilarious. But I am surprised by the fact that you didnt feel it under ya.... we could have some "sensitivity" issues here!

10:19 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

arpu - babes trust me i laughed so hard my sides were splitttttting...it was too much i thought iwas gonna pass out laughing!
ahh rishi rishi..what a gem..he didnt even threaten me with bodily harm..tho i guess nirav took care of that bit :( i feel so abused.

apoorva - u know...im kind of worried (and im sure just as disturbed as you are) that i couldnt feel it...thats not the only flummoxxing bit...how come it didnt break?
ahhh the mysteries of the human body..that and well..i guess dvd's are made of sterner stuff these days :P

10:27 PM  
Anonymous roohi did the happy dance and finally said..

did u fart on the dvd?hahaahah

11:20 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

roohi - *sigh* no no NO! how many times do i have to say NO!
it wasnt me.

11:58 PM  
Blogger APOO did the happy dance and finally said..

Learn the rule of accomodating shapes:

If the butt provides an opposing force to that of the shape of the DVD then the DVD shall break.

If the butt takes up a shape to accomodate that of the DVD, the DVD shall not break.

Enough gyan...!

3:28 AM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

You know, your ass would be ideal in smuggling dvd's (and other subtances) from malaysia into singapore....have you considered a career change??

8:04 AM  
Anonymous constable chang did the happy dance and finally said..

By the authority of the Singapore Police, I hereby state we shall be initiating an investigation on this authors actions and comments. In particular to the following allegations which are forbidden in the country of Singapore:
-Posession of an Illegal DVD Media.
-Transportaion of Illegal Material inside your body.
-Farting in a Taxi Cab

You shall be contacted shorly.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

apoorva - holy cow...if what you're saying is true..then i think it's time for some butt clenches.

ds - errr no dev i havent considered a career change because im allergic to anything that could possibly land me in JAIL.

constable chang - *ahem* you might want to contact RISHI about the illegal dvd..secondly it wasnt INSIDE my body it was UNDER my ass..hello??how huge do u think my ass is!?!?!?!!?#$%^...thirdly for the 100TH time..it WASNT ME!!!! it was probably nirav..he ate the most rolls..u know how gassy cabbages can be :P

10:57 AM  
Blogger Jay did the happy dance and finally said..

How on earth did the dvd get UNDER you anyway?

8:18 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jay - ok i think this is what happened..while i was waving the packet around and moving in, it must have slipped out, coz the packet has no cover..
if thats not it, then i dont know what is!

8:47 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

Surprises! Surprises!

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Cheryl did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahiiiii!!! I can't believe you!!! I'l nvr lend u any dvds ok! For fear it goes missing under/in you again! :P

9:34 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

cheryl - ehhh come on! it was an honest mistake!!!!!!
(aww dont say 'in'! that just sounds so.....WRONG.)

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

mahi!!! finally i have somebody who's exactly like me. :))

mandar
http://mrmdesai.blogspot.com/

4:24 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

*gasp!* what a perverted DVD!! how did it get under THERE??!! :)

that was hilarious!

8:19 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

mandar - how can you be as big a screw up as i am?!!?thats terrible mandar!*wags a finger* haha but yea...i know mandar..it does get lonely on the top ;)

dawn -i know man! its like these damn dvd's have a life of their own!
hehe thank you..i found quite funny too..but my friends didnt, at that time..especially the ones who had to pay more for the cab :P

10:04 AM  
Anonymous arpeeta did the happy dance and finally said..

u stupid slut...hahaha..i called believe u and NIRAV ate the popiahs in the car...such pigssss..no wonder there were sooo few left!..and come to think abt it mahi..u payed the lowest for the cab fare when it was ure fault...ure really classic!!

4:52 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

arpuuuuuu - what can i say baybeee
when youre hungry, youre hungry!
when youre broke, youre broke!

4:58 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

jay - :P very welcome, for your future pirated dvd needs come to ure nearest mahima..u never know what u might find under the ass
:D

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

I read through yr blog. Finally.Now stop eating my head!! :)

3:01 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

anonymous - rishi/hanita...i know its one of you...stop being chicken and leave your name!

6:24 PM  

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