26 May, 2005

Bratty Kids. *smack*

Okay..all of you reading this..READ.VERY.CLOSELY.

There will come a day..when you settle down..and are most likely to have kids..
There will also come a day when you will decide to take a holiday and most likely stay over at a friend's.

And when that day comes...if you have a kid who's below the age of 8.. and if you intend on staying over at good ol' Mahi's place..well u can just drag your ass back to wherever the hell u came from, coz my house isnt going to admit anyone below the age of 8.

Sounds cold hearted no?
Well it is..but you'll soon see why.

My mom orders a new sofa set, coz the old one was chewed up by Kelso [there is a point to this...i promise..its not just random info =)]. Our guests frm India arrive the next day, with a 4 year old kid in tow. (uh-oh moment no.1)
The kid has a stomach virus (uh-oh moment no.2)..more specifically-the vomitting kinda stomach virus. (dum dum DUMMMM)
SO i guess you know what happened next...

Not only did the kid vomit all over the brand new furniture..but hours later he promptly spills any juicy sticky liquid he can get his grubby paws on.
I wish i had taken a pic of my mom's expression when that happened..

Ticket to Singapore = $800
New Sofa = $ 400
Expression on Mum's face = Priceless

You think thats bad?
You know when you take an afternoon nap in your nice cozy bed..ure all comfy..snuggled up..not a care in the world..dreaming happy dreams.....

The brat barges into my room and RUDELY awakens me.
"I'm sleeping darling. Get out." I snarl.
"BUT VHYYY. PLAY WITH ME RACING CAR, RACING CAR!!" *proceeds to making vroom-ing noises*

I then proceeded to bury my face in my pillow and silently scream.
(btw..in case u were wondering..i manage to push the kid out of the room..racing cars and all)

People, people..don't get me wrong..I like kids..really i do..just not the loud bratty ones who think theyre smarter than you.
Kids these days.
*dramatic sigh* My nerves are shot!

Anyway ..the point to this blog is this- if you plan to travel in the future with a kid who's younger than 8 years..then do
1) Carry a plastic bag wherever you go..especially if your host has just bought a new sofa.
2) Teach your kids to knock before they enter a room.
4) Scare them into believing the host is an evil monster who'll eat him/her up if he/she drops/tears/ruins anything.
4) while you're at it..don't bother travelling at all..face it..your kid's not gonna remember much of the holiday anyway.

Alternatively, you could kindly suggest a nice hotel to stay in OR lie about the cockroach infestation at your place.

Now I'm off to bed..and yes..I shall lock the door this time.



Anonymous roohi did the happy dance and finally said..

hahhahahaahahaha...that was a very funny blog..i can feel ur moms pain..but when u were sleeping and the kid came in..thats just adorable..he wanted ur attention!it was prob 11am n u were just being a bum!lazy ass!

12:39 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

no!! it was at 2pm..and i was pumped with drowsy medication..blah. i wanted to strangle him hahaha
oh well! theyre leaving today!

2:20 PM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

8 years old huh? seems to young to have a crush on you mahi...
perhaps when he returns as a 13 year old, you can use your flirty charms to woo him to obey your every command...you know, like you do with most people! :p

12:41 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

he was 4 yrs old mate..i figured once kids hit 8..theyre relatively ok to handle..
yea man..what ever do i do with my (and i quote) "..evil temptress hands"

12:44 AM  
Blogger The Box did the happy dance and finally said..

Me: Look you little shit, I'ma slap you if you don't stop jumping on the sofa.
Mom: Leave her be. She's only a kid!
Me: A bratty kid who's fucking the place up!
Mom: She is your god daughter!

They didn't strip me of the title, but I don't think Christmas is going to be very warm at my best friend's household.

In my defence, let me submit that when somebody pushes your DVD player off the shelf half an hour before and smashes the thing on the floor, you tend to get a little emotional.

I feel you babe.

1:06 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

oh my god...i feel your pain, box..i feel your pain.
u and ure god daughter should probably be at opposite ends of the room..to ensure the peace, yknow.
they just dont make em like they used to..in our day.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Sagie's 'fren' did the happy dance and finally said..

Madam, your entry for May 26 was pretty interesting. I think I remember being a kid like that, but the only people I woke up to bother and urge to play with me and my racing cars were my aunts. They'd probably have a similar blog :) Vomiting happens at all ages though... I'm sure Sagie could fill you up with the details. Anyway... keep up the good work.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

hey sagies 'fren' - pleased to meet u! any friend of my bestie, is a friend of mine.
u were one of THOSE kids :S ure poor aunts. theyre probably in therapy now hyuk hyuk
anyway thanks.. and do drop by once in a while!

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Sagie did the happy dance and finally said..

ok this has nothing to do with bratty kids (although i do empathize everyone's frustration over them) but i did want to comment on mahima's blog. And i'm sure she'd have no problems whatsover with me saying this. First of all i want to establish that i'm a virgin at this whole blog thing, and i think i've visted 2 other blogs other than mahima's. Both of them went something like this, "i went to the mall with my boyfren...had some food...then saw a movie..k people thats all..until my next entry..byeee." My first reaction to that was "WTF!?..my life is monotonous as it is...i don't want to know about someone elses." Anways my point is that there are others out there (i.e mahima)who at least have a point to their blogs...they make theirs interesting. It feels more like reading a magazine article. Mahi you know i'm not saying this to suck up (because unlike prema you're so not generous with the ice teas) or to be nice but because after reading all of your eng essay since primary school (yes even the one where you said i was a witch)i know you're very talented. Writing is your forte and i hope you get off your lazy bum and do something about it aside from writing blog entries. I remain your faithful fan despite that essay you wrote about me. Miss you much!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

hey sagie..haha thanks so much, my little pumpkin!
btw..the essay was in 7th grade..:| get over it!!!!
and i didnt write abt u BEING a witch.i said u had a long nose LIKE a witch
biiig difference :P
hehe miss u!

1:39 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

That was funny, indeed! ;) Just hope that day, when I'll be held responsible for a brat like that, won't come soon. ;)

Have posted your questions in my blog, btw.

12:10 AM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

lmao! i can SO relate! that's why I think all children should be kept in cages until they turn 18. ;)

12:53 AM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

couchpotato - if u have kids like that..u'll have a lot less friends...i guarantee. haha thanks fer the questions..itll be up soon!

dawn - heey 18's a bit too harsh! but then again...most of the pple i know were pain in the asses when they were 18..so yea. :S maybe they SHOULD be caged up hehe

12:29 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

That's why I always keep saying 'Adopt grown-up kids'!

2:21 PM  
Blogger couchpotato did the happy dance and finally said..

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Titli did the happy dance and finally said..

Mahima, You crack me up as always. Damn good stuff you've got. As aquarians we've always shared the same thoughts remember??? but i have to agree, as far as kids go,.. we're totally different! I think Kids are adorable. The naughtier the better! ;) see ya!

3:13 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

haha thanks titli!
aww im not that bad yaar..i do like kids...but the naughty ones who go around spoiling stuff reaaaallllly annoy me
thanks for dropping by!

4:09 PM  

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