14 May, 2005

What NOT to get a girl for her birthday.

This list was a collaborative effort of Mahima and Roohi, both of whom have had, what i'd like to call 'B-a-d Birthday Presents' experiences.

Guys, don't give this list a miss.

What NOT to get a Girl for her Birthday:

  1. A $1 Lipstick case (you know the one's with oriental designs on 'em? the one's that should be made redundant coz they serve no practical purpose? yea THOSE. u put it back from where you bought it. RIGHT. NOW.)
  2. Handbags (The faux- leather one's that you see in the sales bin. The ones that 55 year old cheapskate women carry around. It's a no-no. Unless your friend gets all orgasmic and carries it at least ONCE..you can be pretty sure the bag's never gonna see the light of day.)
  3. A Stuffed toy (whats bad about it? 10 guys chipped in to buy it. What's even worse? They got it from their local drug store. What takes the cake? IT COST FRIKKIN $3!!)
  4. Lingerie (not unless she's your girlfriend/wife/mistress/someone you sleep with. DROP THE IDEA if shes ure sister/aunt/anyone who's related to you.)
  5. Clothes ( as much as you tell yourself you know someones dimensions, when it comes to women, you will NEVER know.Why? Coz women lie. HA! Also women are terribly particular about the type of clothes they wear. So stop whining and just gaze at us with adoration will ya?)
  6. Porn ( all guys might watch porn..but not all women do. so stop kidding yourself and wake up- she's never gonna invite you in to watch it with her..... i think.)
  7. Pots, pans, kitchen cutlery and paraphernalia (coz nothing say's- "Honey, as long as you're with me, your gonna spend all day cooking your man his favourite meals"- more than that... She'll run. I'm not kidding.)
  8. Dime-store chocolates (the cheap ones with rancid nuts in em..bleugh. Hey! we women know our chocolates, you cheap asshole.)
  9. A recycled present ( Giving her what she gave you...you'd have to be a special kinda stupid to do this, even if it was done unintentionally.)
  10. A recycled present in recycled wrapping ( this speaks for itself. Guys. Dont be lazy. go out and buy new, shiny, pretty wrapping. We WILL appreciate the gesture.. i promise.)
  11. Cheap jewellery encased in a Tiffany's box (my friend saw this on an episode of 'Oprah'..who the hell is lame enough to do that?)

This list isnt exhaustive...As long as there are men...as long as there are cheap jewellery/dimestores/sales...there will continue to exist 'B-a-d Birthday Presents'

Come on guys. Give us a break. We take the effort to look pretty for you. Return the favour and give us something pretty.

On a different, lighter note-

My dad bought this bar of dark chocolate....and it was peppermint flavour..as in, it had dodgy looking pieces of kryptonite-y,crystal-y, green mint.

" Musst.......get...kryptonite away...from me...
Must..not..put ...on ............anymoreweight."


ah what the hell.
*pops in another piece of kryptonite chocolate*


Anonymous *arpeeta* did the happy dance and finally said..

you go girl!..trust you to kick some sense into the guys!..and listen up guys..there is such a huge variety of presents to buy for girls..use some of your creativity please..then we know u really care!

10:43 PM  
Anonymous roohi did the happy dance and finally said..

guys..a piece of advice..if u wanna get a girl a present..take another girl with u who has similar taste and if u wanna buy make up..pls get the skin tone right..coz colours are very tricky!!!oh ya..DO NOT take ur mom with u..sometimes it helps..but sometimes u end up giving lipstick cases and not so cool handbags!hahaha

10:43 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

arpu - guys sometimes lack creativity in tt area..its ok..its a genetic defect.BUAAHAHA
roohi - damn right! guys..dont even bother abt make up..damn i should have added tt in my list

10:46 PM  
Blogger Webmiztris did the happy dance and finally said..

ha! I definitely understand what you mean about the lipstick cases. why would lipstick need a case? it's like an extra step that makes no sense!

11:29 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

dawn- exactly! its so confounding.

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous did the happy dance and finally said..

I think Birthdays are over rated- and if you go out searching for a bday present, chances are you'll be under so much pressure to buy sth nice, that whatever you get will be a misfit.. So i say get sth for the woman if you see sth on the way that reminds you of her..Or sth that makes you think of her.. It doesn't necessasirly need to be for her bday.. But if you must get sth on the bday.. you cant ever go wrong with personalized accessories..I.D bracelets, digital impression of a photograph on a pendant, engraved pen of quality- and if all else fails, make sth.let em know you gave two shits to try-dont wanna reveal too much.. but ppl who have received the gifts from me know what im talking abt.Lastly, always accompany the gift with a few words-the right words can make a big difference; better yet if you know the girl well enough, a letter will be in order-let her know how much she means to you and how you respect her and cherish her friedship-ppl love hearing abt themselves-In a nutshell, there really is no short cut-so if you're not planning to get sth good on her bday, tell her you need time and the wait will be worth it.. GOLDEN RULE NUMERO UNO: YOU MUST WISH HER ON HER BIRTHDAY or NO PRESENT CAN FIX IT..

11:35 PM  
Blogger Madame Mahima did the happy dance and finally said..

rishi (anonymous)- 1) a letter IN the lipstick case doesnt count
2) how come i never got wished on my birthday huh wise guy
3) how come i never got no personalised shit.

11:38 PM  
Anonymous ds did the happy dance and finally said..

oh man, give me a break. talk about demanding. OKay mahi - thanx for the super ideas. im gonna get you the following for your next birthday:

- a huge cheap-ass purse with an empty $1 lipstick case with the words "Tiffany" scratched on it, half a bar of cooking chocolate, a playboy magazine with a pair of stuffed bunny ears and some recycled lingere.

1:31 AM  
Anonymous Fellow Female did the happy dance and finally said..

dont get a girl makeup!! A guy will never know wat colour 2 buy... or cheap 40c lousy stationary.Also stupid figurines shld b on the list...they just occupy space and collect dust.I could go on n on....ppl seem to LIKE GIVING ME CRAPPY GIFTS...!! ahhahahahha...ok..well..ciao.

12:29 AM  

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